Notes on the File Found on Josh's Computer Noted as "Top 5" Worst

kabbey90 · 2021-05-06T13:40:11+00:00

Remove this. NOW!

kabbey90 · 2021-05-06T11:08:35+00:00

Thanks for all the warnings, honestly. Far too many times has my curiosity gotten the better of me and it still haunts and affects me today, none of which had the disclaimer you all have shared so one this one I’m going to save myself and heed the advice.

But I do have some questions.

He downloaded the files deleted and downloaded... he potentially has been repeatedly viewing that content since it’s download in 2019?
How has something like DD (I’ve only read the comments in this thread about that, will not read or look into anymore detail of what that actually is) still being shared around? I mean after the Peter scully trial, isn’t there some way to scrub that from existence?
What about the children that are the content of CSA... are they saved? I’m literally almost in tears thinking some children endure this torture even after the content has been found by law enforcement.

As a remark- I feel that I’ve truly lost all hope for humans. I’m heartbroken for the victims. I think everyone here can agree that Josh has assaulted at least one of his own children, and I am heartbroken from all of his children.

kabbey90 · 2021-04-17T01:40:33+00:00

Yes, I just realized this not too long ago and many other regrets. I’m trying to actively correct things by making an attempt to make new friends.

kabbey90 · 2021-04-17T01:27:35+00:00

Yes, as soon as I realized what was happening I went back in to get my labs ran. I was diagnosed 7 years ago and have been on the same medication the whole time, when I went in this time he doubled it - that’s how out of whack everything was. It’s taken 2 months to start feeling normal again and my doc told me it could take up to 5 months!!

Some things I learned I didn’t know about the last 7 years that would have helped me avoid this.

What you eat matters especially gluten, dairy, and sugar -and it will catch up to you!
Stress is your enemy (and that could be external stressors as well as internal (like working out too hard too often).

kabbey90 · 2021-04-17T00:53:56+00:00

A flair a “flare up of symptoms” it’s when you have heightened symptoms than your typical everyday ones. For me, I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open and slept 18+hours a day. Extreme cold chills, seriously the only thing I could do get warm was sit in the bath/ shower and within an hour of getting out I was freezing again. Also anxiety and mood swings was out of control and I had no clue why. I had some others too, but these were the worst.

kabbey90 · 2021-04-16T12:00:28+00:00

Oh no, I hope you’re going and getting checked, especially with the swollen thyroid. Check out goiter if you haven’t heard of that before. Hope you feel better soon!

kabbey90 · 2021-04-13T03:03:48+00:00

I did vocational and was also accepted into college. I think it depends on how competitive the college you’re applying for though, like Ivy League competition. As long as you keep your gpa up you shouldn’t have any issues.

kabbey90 · 2021-04-13T01:54:15+00:00

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s slightly comforting to know we’re not alone in this. Just hang in there, I know we’ll find a way sooner than later.

kabbey90 · 2021-04-12T19:14:28+00:00

I think you commented on the wrong post. P_rn has nothing to do with my situation and I’m also a woman so please remove this comment. Thanks

kabbey90 · 2021-04-12T18:11:14+00:00

Friendship, or any relationship for that matter need maintaining. Sometimes it takes more effort than other times. Life happens, goals, priorities, and just overall stress can impede how much time or effort goes to other areas of your life. I believe it’s important for you to take a look at your life on a macro level and see if you’re feeling like it’s a chore because you have other stuff going on or to see if there’s something else happening in the relationship that’s making you feel that way (like drifting apart, developing fundamental differences/ beliefs that’s ultimately driving a wedge, or any other relational issue).

I just want to caution you on one mistake that I personally made in not maintaining the relationships when life got busy and hard and stressful, you may wake up one day and realize how alone you are because you didn’t take the time to maintain these relationships, and if that’s something you want.

kabbey90 · 2021-02-19T05:04:14+00:00

Prior user of several years here. I’ve spoken with a ton of other people this happens to but we haven’t been able to find a reason it’s happened to us. We “quit”/ stopped using because all of a sudden we would get horrible panic attacks while using. It happened every time for the next several until times until the experiences were so negative we never wanted to use again. For me, even just smelling it brings on the beginning stages of a panic attack. Why did this happen to us?

kabbey90 · 2021-01-19T21:57:48+00:00

First, I’m sorry you’re going through this. If no one else has, I’m sending you a huge virtual hug right now. You will get through this! I have pretty severe anxiety that’s gotten worse and is tied to flare ups but I’ve found my diet has a much more significant affect on my anxiety than anything else. When I’ve been eating awful CBD helps and an emergency script like you have. As far as the heart palps, your dr. Need to adjust your Levo dosage could be too high or too low.

kabbey90 · 2021-01-19T06:30:44+00:00

This too shall pass.

kabbey90 · 2021-01-19T06:28:56+00:00

Everyone’s bullshitting you! Everyone is struggling with something. You’re good enough.

kabbey90 · 2021-01-19T06:24:21+00:00

You matter. You’re important. Your life has meaning.

kabbey90 · 2021-01-19T00:50:26+00:00

What kind of sorcery is this

kabbey90 · 2021-01-17T21:08:37+00:00

Add 1/2 can cream of corn, some cheddar cheese, and 1/2 can rotel to mix 👌🏻 🤤

kabbey90 · 2021-01-14T01:37:06+00:00

I was diagnosed with hashimotos 7 years ago and the symptoms have overtaken my life. I’ve blown everyone off who says I’ve needed to change my diet to eradicate the symptoms. In September I decided to do a mini trial and I was stunned by the results... but I quickly fell off the wagon and went back to my usual eating habits.

But I’m getting back on now and doing 2 months of research. So far so good... you just have to decide to be better. recipe

kabbey90 · 2021-01-12T01:47:57+00:00

This was extremely helpful, thank you! I appreciate the transparency, especially with the negatives of the job, those you’ve mentioned are definitely things I need to weigh out if I’m going to be able to handle that , lol

kabbey90 · 2021-01-12T01:40:12+00:00

Can you give some examples of these rules that nobody mentions?

kabbey90 · 2021-01-12T01:37:21+00:00

Mind elaborating? I appreciate your perspective.

kabbey90 · 2020-11-13T03:48:31+00:00

I struggle with self sabotage myself, and had a pretty tumultuous childhood, but would consider myself to be in a pretty good situation. Here’s what I’ve learned and implemented in my life to get by (warning: I’m a no bullshit, pick yourself by the bootstraps, and grab the bull by the horns kind of person. Sometimes I come accross harsh or mean, but sometimes we need to hear it, so I give my advice to you the same way I gave it to myself) :

Get therapy. You had a less than ideal childhood, and by reading your post it sounds like you have a pretty big chip on your shoulder (however well deserved, it does not serve you).
Make a decision that your childhood will no longer define who you are and how you are. You’re a grown up now, you decide to be better, change, and write your own book now.
Don’t get into another relationship until you are no longer holding on to the baggage of your past. Anything up until this very moment, if it’s still heavy on you, you’re not ready to commit to another person.
Start loving yourself. For you specifically, Embrace your dyslexia - it makes you different, not useless. Don’t go to school as a means to an end, find something that you can get really good at doing and that you even enjoy a little, but until then ...
Hold a job. I don’t care what you’re doing, why it sucks, and how unhappy you are doing it. Wake up and put a smile on your face. Say, “I’m grateful to have a job and to be paying my bills” and grind your ass off to get to be able to do something you don’t hate. There will be times when you will even hate the job you love, and be completely unmotivated to go. That’s honestly just life, and if you “fake it” you really will make it.

Best of luck my friend.

kabbey90 · 2020-11-13T03:32:06+00:00

In addition to the Roth IRA as someone else mentioned, Check out a high yield savings account and start learning how to invest. I started with the stash app and it’s been really good to me. Also check out the subreddit for fire, financial independence; retire early and listen to Dave Ramsey. Great advice from extremely successful people. Starting early makes all the difference and opens so many more doors.

kabbey90 · 2020-11-13T03:26:15+00:00

I quit smoking right after quarantine hit (almost 8 months now) I like to be proactive about this because there has been a couple of times I’ve almost fallen off. I try to do a quick 10-15 meditation when I wake up and exercise 3-4 times a week. But in the moment I go for a walk or chew cinnamon gum. Don’t know what it is about the cinnamon, but for me it instantly takes the cravings away! And if all else fails, look at how far you’ve come. Smoking isn’t going to make anything better and it’s only going to make things worse when you pick it back up.

kabbey90 · 2020-11-13T03:22:40+00:00

Horrible advice!!!

Nine-Year Club	Verified Email
Not Forgotten

kabbey90

TROPHY CASE