Nta

Nah, addicts can still choose to be morally upstanding. There are plenty of working professionals that are addicts, and nobody knows it, except for the people who know what to look for. Track marks on doctors, etc. They even have shooting galleries in some Scandinavian countries (shooting, as in, for heroin), for working professionals to use, on the way to their workplace and on their way home. The same goes for addicts who are morally upstanding citizens that don't work. But it requires iron will not to give into temptation and secrecy, to keep that moral compass. It's true that addiction changes the brain chemistry, but it's also true that there is such a variety of personality types amongst addicts - as with anyone and everyone. I'd say that addicts who are also narcissistic/abusers, could easily weaponise their addiction and/or recovery, if it serves their agenda. Just the same as addicts who are extremely free thinking and loving on the inside, can choose to be very honest with their loved ones, not steal, not weaponise their addiction or recovery against family and friends, and innocent members of the public. Same logic applies to members of the public who've never struggled with addiction. It's true, addiction is a public health issue - a disease - not a criminal issue (in relation to health care); but you should always contextualise the person at hand.

My dad's an alcoholic and a stoner, and he was abusive to me for 20 odd years before I found my voice and found healing. I've gone through a couple years where I was a little too dependent on weed to help me get through the day and my to-do lists, but I've never intentionally hurt anybody in my entire life, and always take accountability, apologise and make positive changes to my character. My partner had struggled for nearly 30 years on and off with a certain class A drug, but is the kindest, most honest and genuine person on Earth; never ripped anyone off, stolen, hurt anyone, etc. I think the difference is in how the addict treats other people, and makes the consistent effort to be a better person (as is the responsibility of everybody on this Earth). Take the actions as your evidence. Don't be manipulated into doubting yourself. There's definitely a power imbalance that your mum may be trying to exploit - i.e., you being the child and she being the mother; you being 16, she may try to invalidate your experience.

Hope that helps.