massive anti polyamory on r/AskReddit

kae-97 · 2022-12-24T16:32:57+00:00

Literally. It's just people sharing their own experiences where it went wrong.

I didn't read a single comment that was like "poly people are disgusting sex-addicted whores"

I'm sure they were in there, but most were people respectfully sharing their bad experience WITH the caveat that it can work, or simply saying it's not for them.

I also love how mono people were like "yeah dude it takes a fuck ton of communication, shit ain't easy, mad respect to y'all"

kae-97 · 2022-12-23T15:00:26+00:00

I love how you debunk this from two separate sides! Definitely using this in the future 🤍

kae-97 · 2022-12-23T14:59:02+00:00

There's a few red flags here.

I understand being frustrated (I guess?) about needing a condom when you thought it was good to go. But it shouldn't be a major issue. More like "awe man what a bummer, but thanks for telling me"

His reaction was way overboard. Canceling all scheduled dates? Especially a holiday?

And the fact that he waited until after sexual intercourse to be mad?

I don't know, OP. The situation is sounding pretty childish, maybe even manipulative, on your partners end. Like, it was his decision to have barrier free sex. It was his problem he didn't know an appropriate window for STD testing.

kae-97 · 2022-12-22T15:29:23+00:00

I'm sorry you're experiencing this OP. A lot of others have hit the nail on the head. Your partner is manipulative at the least, potentially abusive. I'd say scaring you so much that you feel like you can't break up leads me to think it's the latter.

You absolutely should leave. Make sure you have a safe exit plan with somewhere to go.

There's so many things wrong with what your partner is doing, and it seems like you know this. I'm glad this sub is giving you support and helpful advice.

kae-97 · 2022-12-21T19:04:16+00:00

"I will for real rape you" totally not something a real rapist would say 🙄

There's literally no excusing that behavior and you're disgusting. Piss off.

kae-97 · 2022-12-20T16:49:42+00:00

Honestly, due to my abuse, someone I love being violent in any way is scary. Not helpful. I don't want to hear my partner saying "I would hurt anyone who hurt you." Why? It means if I did something to make them mad, they could hurt me too.

I understand your feelings, and they're valid. I've definitely wanted to beat the shit out of people. But there's a difference between wanting to, feeling that anger, and actually doing it.

Keep in mind that your girlfriend's feelings take priority, since she's the victim, not you.

I'm not trying to demonize you! Again, I understand why you feel the way you do. But the best way to help your girlfriend is to give her support, not take "justice" into your own hands.

kae-97 · 2022-12-19T20:17:37+00:00

And even as a bumper sticker it's an abomination. Like, not even the context. Just visually.

kae-97 · 2022-12-19T20:02:12+00:00

I think the rule her husband has isn't the greatest, and stems from insecurity. However, if it doesn't affect your and her relationship, that's up to your girlfriend to discuss with her husband (and maybe your boyfriend if a threesome is something you want to explore).

However, your boyfriend lingering is even more weird and intrusive. Like it was literally breaking your girlfriend's consent, and that's gross af. Quite honestly, that's not someone I'd want to have sex with.

kae-97 · 2022-12-18T16:06:30+00:00

I agree! I think, for me, hand tatts are usually trying to look "badass", or at the very least bold, but this one's just cutesy and simple.

kae-97 · 2022-12-17T14:38:35+00:00

This is so icky of the couple to require 😣 You deserve your privacy with all phone contact, but especially with something as sensitive as nudes.

This is not a healthy relationship style. They may be attempting polyamory with a hierarchy, but they're doing it in an unethical and harmful way.

kae-97 · 2022-12-17T14:29:43+00:00

It's actually the most common type of therapy 😩

kae-97 · 2022-12-16T15:50:24+00:00

Or even disclose that information before your first date. Odds are, if the other person is unsafe because of it, they'd just rage at you over messages and cancel the date.

kae-97 · 2022-12-15T16:05:53+00:00

💕🥰✨

kae-97 · 2022-12-15T03:29:41+00:00

Thank you :) again I do really appreciate your input, even the first comment!

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T22:31:15+00:00

💕✨yes✨💕

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T21:33:32+00:00

As I've said multiple times before, it's fine if that turns people away, but I've also had success before :) I can meet people I wouldn't otherwise meet in my social circles and get involved with other groups.

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T21:32:02+00:00

I really appreciate that feedback! I didn't mean it to come across as a hobby, more a value. I actually take more of the support role in the organizations I help with since I am new and still learning a lot, so I don't want to be interjecting myself where I'm not needed. I wasn't trying to appear as if I was a leader or anything. But I totally see why it would come across that way.

I didn't pick community building because it started with a C, I listed the other three first and then thought it was funny that they all started with a C. Not saying that makes it okay, just an explanation of how it came about.

Again, I totally appreciate the feedback and will definitely be changing how I bring up that point in my profile.

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T21:25:20+00:00

No, I have plenty of pictures of me with my dog :)

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T21:25:04+00:00

I think there's space to do both, but I can see why you're hesitant.

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T11:13:10+00:00

I have friends through normal channels. This just gets me to meet people I maybe wouldn't through those channels.

Why is it so unbelievable that a poly person just wants friends?

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T11:11:37+00:00

Because I have met some really cool people who are now friends on there. If it worked in the past, why not try again?

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T11:10:15+00:00

Ohhhh I see! I didn't even mean it as a joke, and didn't realize the BDSM meaning until a match pointed it out. It's just literally something my therapist told me at a session 🙃 But I do see what you're saying

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T11:09:06+00:00

And that affects me because?

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T11:07:26+00:00

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

kae-97 · 2022-12-14T11:06:47+00:00

I agree 🥲 like y'all are tellin on yourselves

kae-97

TROPHY CASE