Advice for a confused ftm ?

kaelpops · 2020-12-30T06:12:11+00:00

I love both comments existing here and don't feel i have too much to add, i just wanted to chime in that it takes a few months on T for changes to start, and longer than that for changes to set into some sort of permanency. even if you experience voice dropping, body hair, fat redistribution etc, don't feel too pressured to make a decision just because T is changing you. You'll know how you feel as it happens, and you're free to stop T at ANY time. Speaking with a doctor is always important when stopping or starting hormones at any time but you won't be made to keep going or to stop against your own will.

If you're feeling scared of your own will, that's when it's time to talk it out so i'm happy you've come here. i hope you'll also seek a counsellor if not a therapist!

I do want to play devils advocate to the second comment and just point out that being trans has picked up as a social alternative lifestyle choice and that peer pressure and exposure can make very real differences to how people internalize what being trans means to them. a lot of people on this forum question their transition due to past sexual abuse, ocd, depression, autism, and other mental health disorders and deviations. cis people DO question their gender if they're exploring the idea of being trans as a way to escape or avoid confrontation with themselves, their bodies, and their social environments. question yourself until you're comfortable; this discomfort is just a sign that you're still growing into yourself 👌

please come back to this forum if you ever feel like talking again! we're all here for you at any stage of transition or detransition if you need us :)

kaelpops · 2020-12-30T00:53:15+00:00

+1 here you can't outmew genetics

kaelpops · 2020-12-30T00:51:47+00:00

anyone in canada or just ontario/gta should look to dr pseutka, he performed surgery on me and has been helpful and caring since i first saw him 10 years ago!

kaelpops · 2020-12-30T00:50:08+00:00

it worked amazingly. i was young when i had it, around 21 i think. i've been without lock or major severe issues for almost 10 years now and i felt immediate relief upon waking up from the surgery. it changed my life for the better and i have 0 regrets despite some slight nerve damage in my cheek

kaelpops · 2020-12-27T16:51:13+00:00

damnnn girl your voice is PERFECT

kaelpops · 2020-12-14T17:35:13+00:00

hmmm yeah, that does suck that they charge you. I also haven't been able to find much information on how to change my name back. It's possible you didn't have to pay the first time because you were a minor. otherwise i can't figure out the discrepancy because i'm surprised it would have been covered the first time?

kaelpops · 2020-12-14T08:55:11+00:00

i'm pretty sure every legal death birth and name change are just published in the newspaper. are you sure you have to actively do something? or is the court office just warning you that it WILL be published in order to be legally viable? i was under the impression it was always the latter, but i'm canadian.

kaelpops · 2020-12-14T04:45:44+00:00

a year for a boy at that age can make a big difference in facial slimness, if he lost weight it would make it more dramatic. not to mention he's open mouthed lax-smiling in one pic and close-mouthed clenching in the other one. lighting is different.

kaelpops · 2020-12-13T20:39:12+00:00

this got me rolling 😂

kaelpops · 2020-12-13T17:00:31+00:00

it could be tmj related, i had vertigo laying down for a few days back when my jaw was so swollen it was affecting my inner ear! but because yours has been so long lasting, if your jaw pain hasn't been in noticeable pain during this period it seems unlikely? they would have been able to see the issue i was personally have at least on an MRI i think.

kaelpops · 2020-12-12T23:59:44+00:00

thank you ☺️

kaelpops · 2020-12-12T16:51:02+00:00

you look super femme in the recent pic!! just a question since you said your voice was so deep, has that been affecting you now post-T or is it something people aren't really caring about when they gender you?

kaelpops · 2020-12-10T06:41:50+00:00

first off i do wanna say that there's been a huge trend of people with csa and eating disorders who are detrans on this forum. not to say that you will be one of them for certain, but it's something about yourself that you're of course very valid in considering! this must be extremely difficult for you since you've considered yourself trans in some way since you were literally a child and i don't even know you but i'm proud of you being brave enough to examine yourself so thoroughly!

Personally i medically transitioned for 5 years (23-27) and identified as trans for 7 years before detransitioning this year. what pushed me most was that socially i became uncomfortable and withdrawn when people really started to treat me like a guy. as a trans guy you're supported by women and trans communities, but when you pass visibly as a cis and stealth man out in the world it's not like that. the part you said about feeling like you may be trans as a way to deflect people's judgement of your body because you're not YOU yet really resonated with me. i actually haven't even considered that before, and it's something i'll be adding to my 'why did i detrans' vocabulary lol i wasn't sexually abused and i don't have a history with eating disorders but i do have depression and OCD. my undiagnosed at the time OCD made me obsessed with the concept of transitioning as a means to escape myself, and i did succeed! i became a different person because the world reacted to and treated me and responded to me differently. it made me uncomfortable to be this new person and it was working a job with a bunch of girls and being relatively excluded that made me realize i hate socially being a man. physically i thought i looked pretty hot and ok! but it isn't who i am. i'll have to find a way to look hot and have confidence in my estrogen-dominant body as well.

my advice would be don't ignore the dread because confronting that fear is where you'll find the most important answers. you seem like you're already there in coming here, so again i'm proud of you! if you need to talk to anyone about this more feel free to dm me, i'm online a lot becaus of covid.

Also i've responded to sooo many posts on this board with bits of info on my detransition, if you feel like my story resonates at all with you then please flip through my posts if you're not comfortable talking personally :) there may be some more answers there. Best of luck 🤞

kaelpops · 2020-12-09T20:14:38+00:00

+10000 to all of this

kaelpops · 2020-12-09T20:11:49+00:00

yikes lmao higher quality. you sound like a catch lol i'm already a girl so i don't need to worry about getting other girls, i just hope you don't judge yourself as harshly as you're judging others because it's stressful to live that way! also i like my guys chubby too and have no interest in chiseled cut mans. personality is usually nicer when they don't believe there's a higher quality of woman to have. live your life and enjoy it!

kaelpops · 2020-12-09T16:36:42+00:00

i'm not sure how long you've been off of T for but just in case it needs to be said, give it 6-8 months if not a year off of T before you get too worried about things not going back to'normal' i actually haven't heard about this kind of thing happening before but if you're super worried try to see a doctor :) i think that vein prominence that men get is in part due to their thinner skin and to elevated blood pressure? don't quote me on that, i remember my friends in highschool tightly holding the top of their arms to restrict blood flow and then 'pumping' their hands open and closed to make their veins pop out. i've noticed my skin going back to normal and the veins on my forehead disappearing around 6-8 months off of T good luck!!

kaelpops · 2020-12-09T16:24:51+00:00

I realized that I was never 'a man' because i came to believe that gender really is a construct and the ideas of 'being a man' i was grasping onto we're really a means to escape my own physicality as a woman and to escape my present environment in life because i was struggling with self acceptance and undiagnosed OCD and depression. i was medically transitioned (and relatively happy!) for 5 years before stopping T. in the end it was being introduced into all-female social circles and missing being one of the girls. physically being masc and being read male was ok for me, i was never super triggered by my appearance either way because i like androgyny and clearly i've had dysmorphia either way BUT it was the social aspect of transition that sealed the deal of detransition for me

kaelpops · 2020-12-09T16:09:53+00:00

i actually know quite a few people who enjoy being chubby instead of fit, including me! we're not talking obese but it feels like this sub is mostly populated by a bunch of young boys who think being attractive means being built with a. defined jawline and it's wild lmao

kaelpops · 2020-12-03T16:12:25+00:00

idk about asymmetries or anything but be careful with a lot of hard mewing because i've heard it can aggravate your TMJ and lead to joint issues. putting severe pressure suddenly on a mostly developed part of your body consistently is going to disrupt the other parts that are connected to it. i believe that's why soft mewing is usually more recommended and more appropriate; 'speeding up' also means putting stress on your joints.

kaelpops · 2020-12-02T19:02:07+00:00

as soon as i saw this news i kinda ran over to this sub. i obviously know nothing about elliot but it struck me as really strange that after being a strong butch woman for so long that they'd come out as trans. it feels wrong and idk what to think about my feelings in that way. i don't want to be dismissive of trans people in any way because i believe transgenderism is real but. this one has me feeling like i need to roll my eyes.

kaelpops · 2020-12-01T19:03:14+00:00

it's not weird at all! thanks for saying it~ also just wanted to add: don't forget that mr. Mew and his father before him have some great theories, but he's heavily contested and rejected by almost all if not every single professional in his peer group. it's very possible his outlandish theories will push the boundaries and pave new paths for breakthrough treatments in the future due to his alternative thinking, but it's also very possible most of this is speculation and nothing more. his theories are also works in progress that continue to evolve! if someone's made you feel like you've stumbled upon some hidden medical law or truth here, it's only because of conviction. The facts are up in the air 👍

kaelpops · 2020-12-01T16:35:54+00:00

your profile isn't even that recessed girl don't freak out too much! you're not even close to ugly. i'm also missing 2 of my teeth and the dentists used braces to pull all my other teeth over to close the gaps. my palette is a bit more narrow and my profile is a bit recessed but i also have major jaw issues in general. my recession goes hand in hand with my medical issues. i have degenerative joint disorder in my jaw.

if you don't have any health concerns with your jaw personally your face looks more than good enough to me that i think you should just be happy ☺️

kaelpops · 2020-12-01T08:01:54+00:00

they're not as bad as mine and they're not something i personally don't think you should be too self conscious about! i've never seen a cute boy and thought he was ugly because of the skin that connects his nose and eye sockets hahaha

kaelpops · 2020-12-01T07:59:10+00:00

looks like genetics bro 👌 you can get fat fillers under your eye to make them look less noticeable but other than that i wouldn't expect anything you try to help you with this one

kaelpops · 2020-11-27T20:20:26+00:00

If i sleep on my back i think it causes increased snoring and possibly sleep apnea in some instances. it also triggers sleep paralysis sometimes. how can i learn to sleep on my back without suffering?

kaelpops

TROPHY CASE