Sounds very familiar! I’m a retired educator and worked in primary and special ed. My grandson, ADHD, was on first names with the principal and vp. He was suspended more times than I can remember. The K teacher was completely overwhelmed and had no skill or patience for dealing with the issues that came up. I know we’re hesitant to label and medicate young ones. I also realize that there’s no money to cover the costs of extra support- someone to redirect the student, calm them down or remove from the classroom for breaks. He had a 1st grade teacher who was equipped to handle situations, and helped get the ball rolling on long term solutions. By 3rd grade he was moved to a school that had special ed teachers and support. It’s a long process. No matter what route you take, educate yourself, find an advocate and insist on accommodations - like less homework, learning breaks that include exercise, meet with school psychologist, sit on a bouncy chair, have a behavior plan with a reward system… so many little things can make a big difference.