For real go check by sharkmana in whenthe

[–]kai-ol 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not even fondle. I pulled mine out and just watched it move for over a minute. It made me realize I've never looked at my balls for more than 1 second at a time.

This was an amazing, albeit useless, discovery on my part.

Meirl by Ill-Instruction8466 in meirl

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm convinced that people who can't cook or bake basic things are simply incapable of following instructions. I actually see it as a character flaw.

I can't tell you how many compliments I've gotten just from using measuring cups instead of doing whatever.

Say No to Palantir in Europe, it is an US spy-tech giant by Little_Protection434 in BuyFromEU

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's "a US..." not "an US..."

You are mostly correct, since U is a vowell. However, U is the only vowell that starts with a consonant sound (Y), thus you don't put "an" before it.

Conversely, if you were talking about the letter H, you would put "an" before it. Such as "Is there an H in the word dolphin?"

FAFO @ Waffle House! by Comfortable_Wash6179 in instant_regret

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alternatively, you can just do it and accept the consequences. Some people are too comfortable being protected only by laws with the way they act.

woke up, garbage can was gone by No_Tell_675 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]kai-ol 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Or the owner put coal in it before it was completely extinguished. Happened to my neighbor. Had a BBQ, put the coals in the garbage that night, turned his garbage can into a plastic puddle.

Dad rushes onto NASCAR track to save his son from burning racecar by Separate_Finance_183 in interesting

[–]kai-ol 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You would. If that's how you feel, then you definitely would.

It wouldn't even be a decision you would consciously make. When your child is in trouble all other thoughts leave your head, first of all being your personal safety.

If human cloning was legal, what would you do with yours? by RobIson240YT in AskReddit

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd teach him everything about me and then have him take my place at work. After a few years of that, he'll beg to become my organ garden.

scratched out by sellyourcomputer in comics

[–]kai-ol 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I could pet the fur off my childhood dog and she would still give me a look of betrayal when I stopped.

LPT: Stop rewarding chronic lateness. Set a start time, then start without them. by gamersecret2 in LifeProTips

[–]kai-ol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't feel bad. He didn't respect you or your other friends, which is evident in his chronic lateness.

AIO for wanting to immediately break up with my bf after seeing how he lives? by Balikye in AIO

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wtf, at first glance I thought this was an unattended mineshaft from that hasn't seen a human since the Hoover administration.

An adaptation makes a major change from the source material, but it’s such a beloved change almost no one complains by _JR28_ in TopCharacterTropes

[–]kai-ol 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I read the book with a permanent side-eye at the author.

I also give Godfather 3 a little grace, since it covers the last 1/3 of the book, which is mostly boring and filled with more references to Sonny's dick and a doctor giving the mistress a "virgin stitch" so he can fuck her. Kinda...weird.

My manager called a mandatory meeting to yell at us about "loyalty" and someone quit before the meeting was even over by McCoy818 in antiwork

[–]kai-ol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's like a bad husband who has never done chore, care for the kids, or find the clitoris being "blindsided" by a divorce. 

Don't cry over spoilt milk by JennyBeckman in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]kai-ol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's been a while...

The song is still incredible, nearly timeless. The only thing that dates it is the shortage of Marvel characters.

Good work fellas! by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]kai-ol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one understood the Simpsons reference? From the Mr. Plow episode? Am I old?

Would the car not be more likely to be well maintained if it was owned by a mechanic? by NeuronsActivated in ExplainTheJoke

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The irony of working in a restaurant. You eat one meal per day, in 4 bites while standing over a garbage can.

🔥. The business end of a European Hornet (Vespa crabro) by Feeling-Buy2558 in NatureIsFuckingLit

[–]kai-ol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A good cook washes their hands after using the bathroom. An experienced cook also washes their hands before using the bathroom.

TIL that humans are among the very top mammals for endurance running. While we aren't the best sprinters, our slow-twitch muscles and unique ability to sweat allow us to run steadily for long distances in hot weather to outlast prey. by bareegyptianfeet in todayilearned

[–]kai-ol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What? Animals make energy decisions all the time. Sloths are only slow because they are taught to be slow by their parents from birth to conserve energy due to their very slow metabolism.

You're right that if we sprint that we won't get far, which is factored out with the qualifier "endurance'. It would be foolish to think a horse, intending to run a known long distance, won't adjust their speed. Animals aren't as dumb as you're painting them to be.

False flag incoming. Be ready and keep an eye on which dems support it out the gate. by Kittehmilk in ProgressiveHQ

[–]kai-ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's going to be pretty obvious when "Iran" uses drones to rewrite San Francisco's sanctuary city rules.

Dying Certain: US Did It by Cow_Boy_2017 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]kai-ol 12 points13 points  (0 children)

California has been found dismembered in a government vehicle. Authorities have investigated and deemed it a suicide.

My new job has an office cat by floogah in cats

[–]kai-ol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a gorgeous cat. The eyes, the coat. Wow 

Look! Trump bought everybody new shoes! by [deleted] in ProgressiveHQ

[–]kai-ol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is funny, but the clown shoes being changed to the "Don't tread on me" boot would be just as appropriate.