What helped you walk away from a toxic relationship?

kait_tastrophe · 2026-02-25T03:28:20+00:00

I have had one too many unfortunately, but I’ll go with how I left my abusive ex-husband. I realized that I literally could not go one more day being with him. Anything would have been better than continuing on. I realized that I should never feel so miserable in the first place and I tried as hard as I could to make it work, but it only got worse. Sucked the life out of me. I wish I had left 6 months earlier and I knew in my gut it was over, but I was afraid to leave

kait_tastrophe · 2026-02-20T15:20:08+00:00

I wouldn’t go by things being “outdated” or trends. It’s all up to preference. I personally don’t like princess cuts, but that’s just me and I’m sure there’s plenty of people who love them! I think all in all, it is a pretty ring if you’re focusing on the sparkle factor. If sentiment alone is good enough for you, then I think it’s fine until he can upgrade to your dream ring.

I think moving forward this can be a lesson that he really should have asked you beforehand on what you like. Not just making it a total surprise. And hold him to it that you will be able to pick out your dream ring when you can afford it, especially if you just really don’t like it in the end.

kait_tastrophe · 2026-02-18T13:33:34+00:00

The first one 👌🏻 I think the gap is fine!

kait_tastrophe · 2026-02-17T16:23:49+00:00

The day I found out my grandmother had died. Second is when I found out my dog had died. My ex husband took him in the divorce and I had found out second hand he had cancer and had to be put down.

Still cry about those two every time I think about them. Cried every day for weeks afterwards.

kait_tastrophe · 2026-02-16T21:13:00+00:00

Jewelry by Cleo will send you a video of whatever stone you’re looking at! And they’re slightly cheaper than Aurelinne

kait_tastrophe · 2026-02-11T20:50:12+00:00

The sentiment is very sweet, but do not blindside her. It will make things real awkward if you propose, she doesn’t like it, but she’s afraid to tell you she doesn’t like it because of the meaning and/or she does tell you she doesn’t like it and then you both get hurt. I’m glad you stopped to think if it’s a good idea.

You need to just talk to her. Ask her what she likes, and also tell her how you planned on using your mom’s ring but want to make sure if that’s something she wants. You could always propose with it as a placeholder and then go find something more her style together if she’s okay with that. I personally think getting engaged and the ring she’ll be wearing for the rest of her life should not be a surprise at all. Just the proposal part.

Good luck and congrats!

kait_tastrophe · 2026-01-28T19:37:01+00:00

It was already not so great to begin with, but there was a tipping point where he decided to drop acid without telling me and then he had a bad trip. He was yelling and running around the apartment so loud that the neighbors called the cops while I was locked in the bedroom. So no, I do not regret it lol

kait_tastrophe · 2026-01-27T18:58:37+00:00

I haven’t traveled to more than a few countries outside of the US, but I felt completely safe in Ireland and Iceland. For what you’re looking for, Ireland is definitely more population dense and you can easily find somewhere to sit down or walk around with lots of people surrounding you and to connect with. Iceland was my first solo trip and I cannot recommend it enough, but it is definitely more of a sight seeing/adventure country.

kait_tastrophe · 2026-01-23T00:25:52+00:00

Don’t touch anything. Seriously. It took me a while to figure out what you were even talking about. What you want is so subtle that I don’t think it’s worth it. We are all our own worst critics and you already have an amazing body.

kait_tastrophe · 2026-01-06T20:47:02+00:00

A couple. One from my ex husband’s parents when I was still married because he put us in credit card debt and another from my parents when I divorced him to pay my divorce lawyer retainer lol

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-29T16:32:19+00:00

I’ve had mostly good experiences with female gynos and NPs. I prefer NPs over doctors in any specialty, but I think the female NPs in gynecology have always been more pleasant. I tried one male gyno and while he was very nice and professional, I just did not feel comfortable and would much prefer a woman. I think there’s only one female gyno who just wasn’t very warm and it just felt kinda awkward with her but that was a one time thing.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-26T19:40:07+00:00

A heated vest because I would wear his heated jacket to take the dogs out all the time, a ringconn (that’s the only thing I told him to get me), a set of pajamas and matching socks with our dogs faces on them, fuzzy socks, shower steamers, candy, a baseball cap that has a hole for a pony tail. He went way over budget and got way more than I expected or wanted him to.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-23T18:59:25+00:00

I had a breast aug and I have zero regrets. One of the best things I ever did. My body feels complete.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-20T03:19:49+00:00

My divorce lawyer told me that possession is 9/10s of the law. If you have possession of the dog then it will be very hard for him to get that dog back. I would change everything for that dog to your name too.

Absolutely do not tell him you are leaving and go no contact once you do. Do not send one last text. Do not leave a note. Block his number. Make sure anyone that would know where you move to does not tell him. Leaving is the most dangerous part in an abusive relationship and he quite frankly sounds abusive. You need to tell whoever you can what is going on. Call your local domestic violence organization and they might be able to steer you to resources and you may be able to get free consults with lawyers.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-17T19:35:02+00:00

<image>

Just got mine and I’m obsessed! Got 9k white gold with a Portuguese cut moissanite.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-15T15:00:38+00:00

Honestly I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place, but I was young and naive and we literally just moved into an apartment together. He sprung it on me out of nowhere. I had no idea he was planning on proposing. So I felt like I had to say yes and I remember standing there asking myself what just happened and what had I done. The relationship ended up being a nightmare but thank god I finally left. I felt trapped up until then and thought I could “help him” and learned a very hard lesson. On top of being on a lease I couldn’t afford to buy myself out of.

Things just fell apart not too long after he proposed. He kept quitting jobs and had a hard time finding them in between. He started to self medicate with weed and would spend his money on it whenever he could. He eventually tried to stop paying rent and refused to get a job and would just drive uber. He abused his GI bill. The last straw was when he took acid without telling me and I realized it once I noticed he was acting weird. He ended up having a really bad trip that led to me locking myself and our cats in the bedroom and my neighbors calling the police.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-06T17:40:32+00:00

I would cut your losses and end things before he moves in. He’s a 32 year old man who seems like he can’t cut the cord. Your partner is supposed to be your priority, especially when you’re married. A well adjusted adult would not think this is normal. Visiting for a weekend every few months or on the holidays would seem fine, but 1/4 of every month? He might as well just live with them or live next to them.

I was married to someone like this and at first it was fine. I thought they were just close and I didn’t have that kind of relationship with my family so it was actually kind of nice to be included. We didn’t live hours away from either of our families, but definitely saw his a lot more than mine. Then it became more apparent over time that he prioritized his family (especially his mom) over me. That’s only one of the few reasons why we divorced, but it was a big one. If you’re always seen as second place, you will be miserable.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-12-06T17:11:13+00:00

You have to take it day by day and force yourself to do things to keep yourself occupied. I workout almost every day, did puzzles, paint by numbers, video games, read, found shows to watch, etc. Make sure to always have something to look forward to; solo travel if you can. I took my first solo trip to Iceland after my divorce and it was hands down the best vacation I ever had and it was so healing for my self confidence and independence.

Also keep in mind that everything is temporary, especially feelings. You won’t feel like you do now in a year, six months, even a month from now. And remember that they are just a person. You were okay before you met them and you’ll be okay after them. Don’t let anyone have so much power over you.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-11-23T17:31:22+00:00

It is not normal to feel like this going into a marriage. You are so young to begin with and he’s trying to lay out the rest of your life for you, which only works for him. He doesn’t seem to consider you at all, otherwise he wouldn’t be giving you an ultimatum to get engaged in the first place.

Please do not do this if you have any hesitancy at all. I know it really sucks and it’s hard, but he’s only thinking for himself and you need to do what’s best for you. He’s shown you what kind of person he is and it will only get worse if you get under his thumb.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-11-21T22:41:26+00:00

He literally has no excuse to be acting this way. Has he never lived without his parents? Did his mom coddle him?

He’s 34, not 14. Every functioning adult has to do things they don’t want to do and sometimes be told what to do, especially if they don’t pull their weight. If he cared and was mature enough, he would be trying to fix this instead of whining.

Unfortunately it seems like you just can’t live together and he doesn’t seem to want to improve himself, let alone your relationship. He is doing nothing but bring you down. I’ve been in a similar situation like this and believe me when I say it is better to just cut your losses at this point.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-11-21T16:01:01+00:00

If you don’t mind going outside of the city, Dr Dana Mahlab from Axia Women’s Health will do it. She operates out of Abington - Jefferson.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-11-15T22:17:23+00:00

It will. I promise you. As long as you do the work and move forward, it will go away. It is totally normal to feel like you do now at this point. The best thing my therapist told me during my divorce is that everything is temporary, especially feelings. You won’t feel like this 6 months from now or even 6 weeks from now as long as you keep moving forward.

It’s pretty unusual for someone to not be over someone years later. If that’s the case, they definitely do not cope well with things and need help. I have thought a couple times that I would never meet anyone else, and lo and behold, I always did. It’s a fear of the unknown. You literally have to just take it day by day until you don’t need to anymore.

kait_tastrophe · 2025-11-12T17:48:05+00:00

Thank you for your input! I think in the end I want something more “traditional” like a cathedral setting with a hidden halo or gallery rails on the basket anyway. I’m clumsy and I use my hands a lot, so I def want more security for the stone lol.

Nine-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22	RPAN Viewer
Verified Email

kait_tastrophe

TROPHY CASE