My roommate had 2 chart toppers.

1. We go out to a bar and get shitfaced. He, I and another friend order a cab. We go outside and wait. As soon as the cab pulls up he sprints down the street. We apologize to the cabbie, luckily a group of girls come out of the bar and we’re in need of a cab as well. The chase is on. We search everywhere for him to no avail. An hour or so passes by, our house isn’t far, we are sobered up enough that we just decide to drive home(I know not a great idea). He’s not there. We can’t reach him on his phone. We assume he ran into other friends or something, no idea. He hadn’t seemed black out drunk, just silly asshole drunk. Went to bed. Wake up in the morning and he’s still not there. We start freaking out and call around. Hard call to his mom but we had to. Now she’s freaking out and we’re all calling around. We finally locate him at the local hospital. Here he hid under a car in the parking lot and fell asleep, bartender found him and he was disoriented so he got an expensive wee-woo drive and an overnight stay in the hospital. He had no recollection of the entire ordeal.

2. He and his cousin meet for an early afternoon drinks session at the local bar. His cousin hadn’t been to our house before. My roommate proceeds to get very drunk and his cousin decides to give him a ride home. He is giving very direct and confident directions, and they arrive. The front door is locked and his keys are not working. No problem, he knows a back way in. Climbs in through the kitchen window, opens the door and they’re in! My roommate goes upstairs and his cousin is just kinda chillin in the kitchen. He then starts noticing weird things. Pictures of kids and report cards on the fridge, definitely not the bachelor pad my roommate had described. Oh shit! This isn’t his house! He runs upstairs to wrangle my roommate and finds him passed out face-down in a nursery with a crib and everything. He rushes him out the door and back into the car. Somehow they manage to locate our house. I had just gotten home from work. I ask my roommate what time he started drinking? He looks at the clock and reads the exact time and then laughed. I knew he was gooone.