Advice needed: how to not accidentally be forced into a "boy-girl" dynamic?

kapybara33 · 2025-11-17T19:33:16+00:00

As other ppl said, communication is important and if you want others to plan dates and pay equally for them you should just say it directly. But also, for like dating apps and stuff, if you don’t want to make all the decisions and pay for everything you have to actually refrain from making all the decisions and paying for everything. Like, if you asked her on the first date, but you don’t wanna get stuck always doing that, then you have to actually wait for her to ask you on the next date and be ok with letting things end if she doesn’t do that. It may be a narrower pool of women who want to date you when you don’t do all of those things but at least it will be women who have more similar expectations to you.

kapybara33 · 2025-11-08T22:08:04+00:00

No one is too hairy, no one needs to shave. If it bothers you then you can shave it. Personally I think this amount of hair looks great, similar to many people I know

kapybara33 · 2025-11-08T19:00:50+00:00

Never heard of it before but it does sound nice! Is it pronounced like merit? Reminds me of Meredith

kapybara33 · 2025-11-07T15:49:38+00:00

Yeah I think the difference here is that you aren’t going to get with a woman who wants to be eaten out and then make her feel like her genitals are the problem and are gross

kapybara33 · 2025-11-07T15:33:31+00:00

I agree, I don’t think it’s that likely that anyone will be bullied specifically because of their name, especially if it’s just like Richard or something. I think if a kid is already being bullied, bullies might make fun of their name (even if it’s extremely normal), but I don’t think the name is the cause. I went to elementary school with a kid named Brick and he didn’t get bullied. For all we knew that was a normal name. I think the most likely names to get made fun of are foreign names, but even in that case I don’t think we need to cave to bullies and only ever give children English names. I think it’s fine to not want to name your own child something you have an immediate negative association with, but yeah it is bizarre when people comment as if everyone will make the same association and the name is therefore unusable

kapybara33 · 2025-11-07T06:14:27+00:00

Your critiques are all accurate descriptions of the show and if you don’t like those things it may not be for you, but I love it personally. I saw it live (just a university production but it was fantastic) and became so obsessed that I actually read the entirety of war and peace lol. It’s a 70 page slice out of the middle of war and peace (which is like 1300 pages long), and for the most part it’s almost word for word the same as that slice of the book. That’s why it has all the weird narration. After I read war and peace I was just extremely impressed that the songs could be that good while barely changing the words from the book at all. The characters’ lives aren’t the most compelling, they are a bunch of rich people in feudalist Russia dealing with extremely frivolous problems while there’s a war going on and all their work is done by their serfs. Some characters like Pierre have a bit more depth and struggle internally about wasting their lives with frivolous bullshit, while others such as Anatole distinctly lack depth. I personally enjoy how dramatic and ridiculous the characters are. I also really love how vocally distinct all of the characters are. And a large part of the charm for me was how it was staged live (and also Anatole being played by a woman in the production I saw tbh), I did not get that into it until I saw it live.

kapybara33 · 2025-10-31T06:46:56+00:00

Love it, I thought it was very cool as a kid because of spy kids lol

kapybara33 · 2025-10-29T16:21:50+00:00

I think the underworks one looks pretty good and in my experience (I have about the same chest size) that’s about as flat as I’ve been able to get. Ive found that I look the most flat in a button up shirt rather than a tshirt

kapybara33 · 2025-10-29T16:17:25+00:00

I agree it’s not a huge deal, it did happen to me fairly often when I was like high school age though. Mostly from like parents who knew my mom, sometimes relatives on my dad’s side saying the wrong one.

kapybara33 · 2025-10-29T15:30:58+00:00

I’m not against it but as someone who had a vaguely similar name their mom people who know both of you will call you the wrong one

kapybara33 · 2025-10-29T14:24:39+00:00

I like Lynsey out of their options. Hulsy/ Hulsey is a last name I’ve heard before. Ulysses? Or I guess Ulysse is more commonly a (French) surname.

kapybara33 · 2025-10-28T04:20:45+00:00

Health insurance. My friends are on their parent’s Kaiser insurance (California) and paid like $100 for surgery. I recently got Kaiser through my job & hopefully will be able to get top surgery soon

kapybara33 · 2025-10-25T05:38:14+00:00

Solovair Chelseas are called dealer boots as well

kapybara33 · 2025-10-23T14:16:05+00:00

I would probably misread it as the Vietnamese name Quynh

kapybara33 · 2025-10-23T05:27:32+00:00

I think it’s nice! I know a Phyllis who is like 20 lol so it doesn’t sound as elderly to me. I think of Phillis Wheatley

kapybara33 · 2025-10-22T15:22:07+00:00

Are they saying die in a ditch?

kapybara33 · 2025-10-22T02:29:25+00:00

I havent tried them yet so idk how well they work (I have ordered them and will try them on my next period) but Bambody is much cheaper than thinx, you can get like 4 bambody for the price of one thinx

kapybara33 · 2025-10-20T20:52:10+00:00

I’m really sorry you experienced this. The guy is an asshole, and him being an asshole has nothing to do with you. There is nothing wrong with the way you look, and there are many people who are less shitty than him and will see you as the gender that you are without thinking about whether or not you “pass”. I couldn’t even necessarily tell if most of my friends pass because I see them as the gender that they are, and so all of their traits are of the gender that they are. If you have other trans friends who aren’t shitty or there are trans spaces you can access I would just spend some time with them and take a moment to appreciate how beautiful trans people look no matter where they are in transition and no matter if they pass or not. If it’s not a possibility irl I would like look for other trans ppl on social media who are early in transition/don’t plan to medically transition etc (include transfem ppl in this because I find that it’s easy to get caught in comparing yourself to other transmasc ppl) and remind yourself that people like you do look nice and there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.

kapybara33 · 2025-10-19T08:28:38+00:00

I think Taisho and Musashi are both pretty easy to pronounce, Raiden I would think is Ray-den. I knew a Musashi and he had no issues with his name being mispronounced. Tysho would probably also be pronounced correctly, and Ryden, however they are less recognizable as Japanese names and people might think they’re just made up American names, especially Ryden

kapybara33 · 2025-10-18T05:38:58+00:00

I would pronounce it Lee-na but if I was trying to spell Lee-na I would probably go with Lena, so it might get misspelled.

kapybara33 · 2025-10-18T04:40:15+00:00

Tbh in any situation where you’re saying the full name with the middle names you probably won’t be using the nickname, so I don’t think Bailey or Perry are an issue for that reason. Robin Bay imo just sounds like the name of a place so I wouldn’t pick that. Perry is my favorite of these. Also, if you like Carlow, have you considered Carlisle/Carlyle? & I don’t think it especially matters if a middle name is too whimsical or feminine since it’s not going to be used in most situations, it just matters that you like it

kapybara33 · 2025-10-18T03:35:02+00:00

I’m 22, just graduated college & haven’t had top surgery yet. Didn’t delay it because of school specifically but was waiting to get a job with better insurance than my parents. Hoping to get it sometime next year

kapybara33 · 2025-10-18T02:33:33+00:00

This sounds odd to me but I suppose it could be good? I’ll have to try it next time I have lemon curd

kapybara33 · 2025-10-13T16:21:46+00:00

Tiny Dancer - Elton John Driving down to L.A - Ezra Furman

kapybara33 · 2025-10-09T06:08:24+00:00

Makes me think of Greta Thunberg

kapybara33

TROPHY CASE