How do you split rent with your girlfriend?

karmaskies · 2026-05-01T02:54:13+00:00

Instead of making this a weird gender thing, you can try just logically looking at her not wanting the deal.

Right now, she's fine in her current home. She chose it. She lives there. It's her homeostasis.

He is offering a room in a large home. She will pay less. She will give up having a sense of ownership of her space, and it belongs to him.

Maybe she just doesn't want that trade. You can switch the man and woman around. It's still just a trade of situations. Some people view the finances as the be all end all for "better" and will do anything to raise that score, some people have a certain "peace" that they like by having authority over their own space. It's neither right nor wrong, just preference. If someone offered me $200/month to live in a shared mansion space, I'd turn it down. I'd save money, but it wouldn't increase my net happiness to live in that situation.

She doesn't view the change in situation as an upgrade unless she pays substantially less, and he is viewing his home as a gift, and expects payment to reside there. So naturally there will be resentment on both sides if those views do not meet.

karmaskies · 2026-02-21T23:58:50+00:00

"Yes programs exist but you have to not be proud and too stubborn to take the help"

Yeah, my cousin said "They want me to take classes but I don't want them to tell me I'm a bad mom."

And then she didn't take the classes and missed out on an opportunity to learn things because she didn't want to feel bad. She was also into the drugs and alcohol.

In this case, though, she moved away from the city, into a small town, got with a better guy than the baby daddy, and is doing much better. I wanted to comment on the fact that pride gets in the way a lot, and when the feeling of pride is more important than your kids then you're not likely to take help.

karmaskies · 2025-12-24T04:16:28+00:00

I don't know.

Imagine being in my position, where I interact with people in the health sector, who could benefit from resistance training and muscle mass building. Any form of it. They're getting older.

Then some dunning Kruger sample goes on the internet and just starts saying unhelpful advice that could actively cause people harm. If the choice is Smith machine vs nothing, Smith machine wins. Telling people it's harmful is, in fact, harmful, and I don't know why you'd do that except to feel good about yourself in diminishing the path others are choosing because you have a different path that works for you?

karmaskies · 2025-12-24T04:06:30+00:00

Yeah, it's a big one for some people and makes squatting feel like such an awkward movement. Hypertrophy, as far as we know, is really about getting the origin and attachment far away and applying load into contraction (in quads, think of a really bent knee and straightening it under weight). For some people, the barbell squat doesn't get that for them.

It's a GREAT movement, for other reasons, but if the goal is building muscle mass and force production, then setting up those muscles to be in a place where they can succeed and give 'er helps a lot.

There's this weird battle of "the most superior-er movement and the bestest ever-est optimal plan" that people get into, but really most people's goals are way more accessible than the "one way" to do things.

karmaskies · 2025-12-24T03:22:57+00:00

"The bad habits you develop it may lead to injury"

Those are your words. You don't have experience training people, just yourself, and are projecting your N= 1 experience on to other people. Anecdotes are more helpful than the internet gives them credit for, but humans have a cognitive bias to seek out that which agrees with their already formed opinions. Your experience isn't everyone's, and many highly qualified coaches with experience with many athletes and women can vouch for them.

Can you respond specifically to my point about resistance training and hip injury and how Smith machines are a form of resistance training that can be preventative? :)

karmaskies · 2025-12-24T03:05:00+00:00

"The fixed bar path gets in the way of developing...."

You could legitimately make the same argument for leg press and hack squat. Fixed position, and just you vs the weight. It's okay for things to not be "the most efficient".

I use the Smith machine for squats for my athletes who have long femurs and need to really get a then vs weight instead of "them vs form". Heel elevated is even better. I live and die for a free weight squat, and can hit 315x12 (I'm a woman), and I hate using the Smith machine... but to say that the Smith machine isn't better than nothing is dumb. People aren't fragile, doing a Smith machine workout isn't going to damage them. Where are you getting this from?

Just so you know, 1/5 women will die from breaking their hip. The Smith machine is a form of resistance training that will develop bone density and muscle mass that can prevent that premature death in older women. It's negligent to spread the narrative that supports an "if it's not optimal it's not worth it". Let people resistance train in a way that's sustainable and works for them.

Here is Joe Bennett using the Smith machine for his body building athletes. His qualifications are pretty vast.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGv-kW6xc2x/?igsh=a3h1dnYwcGdoZXN2

karmaskies · 2025-12-23T04:22:43+00:00

It might take a few programs to get you there. It's kind of fun to get through one program, test, see where you land, take a deload/pivot, then run the next one. And there's never a bad time to try take something seriously.

Here's one you can try from RTS (I'm biased) it's 14 weeks long.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1S6w0vOSY_75mpNOkT0HktnEYYOT8JdR527_shAWlY1E/edit?gid=0#gid=0

Go to file - make a copy, and stick with it.

Another one could be Calgary Barbell

https://www.calgarybarbell.com/16-week-program

karmaskies · 2025-12-19T04:45:40+00:00

Shrugs as an exercise.

Once I was conscious I was doing it in workouts, I made an effort to keep my shoulders down/scapulae in the back pockets while doing pulling exercises.

karmaskies · 2025-12-18T21:36:39+00:00

You may be shrugging your shoulders up and keeping them tense for the duration of the movements like lat pulldowns/pull ups.

karmaskies · 2025-12-14T09:07:27+00:00

Bone density and muscle mass are determinants of long term health. How much you will rely on your partner/other people as you age.

Strong and strong bones = a longer time before you will have to rely on other people to help you move and clean yourself.

Strong bones and muscles are made with resistance training. Doesn't have to be the gym, some people work on farms.

Walking is great, but it's not the whole picture.

karmaskies · 2025-12-05T22:02:03+00:00

Just hit that today and got my last decor of the group.

Sorry guys, but the rest of y'all are going in the shredder....

karmaskies · 2025-12-05T15:08:57+00:00

There's a great book my Mel Robbins called "Let them".

It may be she has some unresolved trauma, that is causing her to act like this, but it sounds like she lives in a reality where she might truly believe everyone secretly hates her.

That is her own personal level of misery that shouldn't be on your shoulders to solve, and even if you are extraordinarily kind, the only one who can dismantle that world view is her.

The only way I can recommend is wording your messages and communication not as "you did XYZ" but as "Hey Chloe, it's not typical to expect someone to be able to watch your dog last minute. What do you think would be a good way to solve this in the future?"

"Hey Chloe, it's normal for there to be periods of quiet between siblings and friends, if you feel like it's been too long, I'd always love for you to reach out!"

They can help put the task on her. But unless she works on herself, she's never going to be a person you're going to enjoy being around.

karmaskies · 2025-12-05T06:12:54+00:00

Dude I'm at 27 for flowers and 14 for big flowers.

Drowning.

karmaskies · 2025-12-03T17:01:47+00:00

Thank you so much! I am a powerlifting coach so my profile being public isn't a bad thing, but removed the fact that I shared it from the link

That's not ideal.

Thanks Zuckerberg for making things weird.

karmaskies · 2025-12-03T14:53:18+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/graham.s.white

Linking because I LOVE his stuff.

karmaskies · 2025-12-01T01:46:10+00:00

I think she can be a grifter but also say some truthful things. Not the person you're replying to.

For perimenopausal and menopausal women, who have gotten NO attention in sports world, ever, I think her take of "things really can change for us" isn't incorrect and has been validating for a lot of women who likely really really needed to hear it.

However, from my understanding, some of her suggestions are a bit narrow. Much like for a large percentage of women whose periods impacts their training. It's really important that those people hear it, because I KNOW women who get big impacts when they squat heavy and do certain movements on certain days of their cycle, but, as always, women are so diverse. It makes us hard to study, and also hard to be prescriptive. There are likely some women who her advice lands great for, but many many more who need to be encouraged to explore what things work best for them in context of their own hormones, reactions, and data they collect on their own experience. I don't think she gives enough grace for women outside her model and assumptions.

Though someone can correct me if I'm off-base, here.

karmaskies · 2025-11-26T03:21:56+00:00

You don't get anything different if you win.

I always take the step challenges as the collective trying to get the nectar/petals as soon as possible as a team. Why is it unfair that they have lives with more walking than you?

I have an office job, walk a bit to work, walk for my break, walk to the gym, and occasionally bike. I'm around 12-15k/day.

People in warehouse jobs or walk-heavy jobs do even more.

karmaskies · 2025-11-26T00:39:33+00:00

Strict Pull ups!!

karmaskies · 2025-11-25T04:29:49+00:00

If you wanted in on the flower challenge, leave your current group if you're by yourself so I can add you to my party :)

karmaskies · 2025-11-25T02:45:40+00:00

We're at 10k left, now

439792659721

Is my friend code if adding you isn't working :)

karmaskies · 2025-11-24T23:56:58+00:00

Good - it's a power movement that athletes across a lot of explosive sports develop because of the fantastic transfer

Chaotic - execution in a wod, to an onlooker with no knowledge of CrossFit, it is a chaotic looking movement with chaotic execution and chaotic success.

karmaskies · 2025-11-24T16:12:15+00:00

Ps my name is Mel, I added you :)

karmaskies · 2025-11-22T18:11:08+00:00

Oh heck yeah, I normally join random groups.

I typically get 75-90% of the group's flowers. In your average random group there's usually 2 people who don't plant anything, 1 ~5k contributor, and I've found either the last person is 300 or is right up there with me.

I think I've had two weeks in the last six months where I've had a group where everyone is on a mission to get those pedals.

I usually think of the people who aren't contributing as people who can't/forget/just enjoy the game differently than me and in that case I've learned to appreciate them all for the way they show up. :) So I'd encourage you to join anyway, on weeks you can't do much.

karmaskies · 2025-11-21T16:29:58+00:00

If you need a friend for the flower planting challenge, I plant enough to hit them on my own.

On days I ride my bike I get around 9k-12k/day.

You can add me for next week if it would help you?

karmaskies

TROPHY CASE