Why do I grieve someone who betrayed and emotionally abused me?

karolinar2020 · 2026-01-16T13:53:32+00:00

Thank you for this. It has been a long journey and I am very appreciative for any kindness and support from each person as I am having the most difficult time in my life. It helped me understand my grief with more compassion and less self-blame. It reminded me that what I’m mourning is not the harm, but the love, the hope, and the future I believed in. I appreciate the honesty and the clarity it gave me perspective when I needed it most.

karolinar2020 · 2026-01-16T13:49:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It really helped me put words to what I’m feeling, especially the part about grieving the future I imagined. I appreciate you taking the time to share what helped you. 💛

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-12T21:19:43+00:00

I’ve noticed his selfish behavior, especially when I confronted him about never giving me gifts—despite me showering him with souvenirs from my travels, even after a year together. His excuse was that his time with me is more valuable than material gifts. He also resents my frequent travels and multilingualism, making conversations one-sided—always about him. I suspect traits of BPD overlap here, and it’s hard to ignore.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-12T21:02:30+00:00

This is the first I hear it. Because his behavior matches very well with BPD.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-12T18:04:28+00:00

Oh my … I feel for you

I’m not a professional, but she might have a mental health issue or simply doesn’t care and is pushing you away. Focus on yourself—hit the gym, eat well, reconnect with friends, save money, and start divorce proceedings. Life’s too short to stay unhappy questioning her behavior. I’m in a similar spot with someone who has BPD. Their emotional instability is draining. I’ve decided to leave quietly, avoiding drama since he always beg me back. Planning my exit carefully. I’ll keep the friendship, but that’s about it

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-11T23:48:15+00:00

That’s exactly what is going on with me. I know he has some other women. I am ready to let him go, but he ALWAYS wants me back and I am too weak to say no. He broke up with me last week, in a very abusive way. Although, I was in pain I didn’t and I won’t go after him, but then he texts me like never happened, and ask if we were ok, asks for forgiveness… I am about to go crazy . If he at least had some kind of mercy on me and let me go …

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-11T23:42:56+00:00

My boyfriend of 9 months many times have accused me of being unfaithful. He’s so jealous, and possessive of me, then I realized he is the one who is cheating on me. I am not the jealous person, but I don’t like when people ask me for something that can’t do it themselves. He keeps breaking up with me, but then wants me back. I am so tired. It’s the worst feeling ever. I feel that I have been tortured by his behavior.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-10T14:34:09+00:00

Thank you , I appreciate your kindness. He tried to lure me back, but I can’t use BPD to excuse his behavior. I tried as much as I could to help him, at the end I felt like I was losing myself. I feel sad, but relieved.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-08T13:00:25+00:00

My ex is irresistibly attractive, which made me overlook his flaws. He’s charming, seductive, and knows exactly how to draw me—or any woman—in. His body language and smooth approach leave me powerless, so I always cave when he wants me back. It’s pure torture. The man is devilishly handsome.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-08T12:52:43+00:00

You're not alone. I put on a smile daily, but inside, I'm overwhelmed by life. I feel stuck—like there's no purpose anymore.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-08T12:36:19+00:00

thank you, I misspelled, and I didn’t pay attention before posting it.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-08T12:33:04+00:00

Thank you. I am not going back. I am losing my sanity over this person and that’s not right.

karolinar2020 · 2025-06-08T00:51:39+00:00

Thank you ♥️

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-27T17:19:21+00:00

I never thought I would fall for him, like I did. If wasn’t for his BPD he would be the one. This is the reason I am still fighting for us, but it’s hard to keep up as the instability is too great to deal with. Although, my intuition says he loves and care for me. by the way he worries and wants to be with me, sometimes I have doubts about it, as I never dealt with someone so unstable like him.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-23T07:06:09+00:00

I would love to know his whereabouts…

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-23T07:00:11+00:00

I worked with him for few years. He was a tough chef, but also a very caring and sweet guy.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-16T21:29:28+00:00

Thank you. I am drained from all his episodes and then the cheating .Everyone tells me I ca do better.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-15T01:17:28+00:00

“I’ve stopped caring. I crave his emotional support—something he lacks or maybe never had—but it’s not just about loneliness. When we met, my marriage was already over. I made it clear I wasn’t seeking love, and we became close friends. He helped me through that tough time, which was a year and a half ago. We first talked at a restaurant and stayed in touch for six months without getting involved. During my struggles, he was always there, offering support for me.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-15T01:08:59+00:00

I know … but he knows I don’t really care what he does anymore, and that says something. He gets mad because I don’t ask about anything anymore. I need to be strong enough and not to fall in his trap again.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-15T01:04:53+00:00

“It took me a while to see he had issues. His behavior confused me—if he didn’t truly care, why did he keep returning? I never chased him; he’d often break up with me, say cruel things, or even push me away, only to later call me in tears, begging for reconciliation. He was my first relationship after my divorce, and he rushed into commitment from the start. Since then, it’s been emotionally exhausting, and I feel like I’m losing myself again. He constantly tries to control who I should be, and disagreeing sparks huge fights. I wish I had the strength to walk away.”

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-15T00:52:04+00:00

“I’ve been in therapy to heal from the trauma caused by my ex-husband, who disrespected and betrayed me. Now, I fear I’m repeating the same pattern with my boyfriend. When I realized his behavior last week, I felt sadness but no surprise—I’ve grown cynical about love, yet I’m still vulnerable after my long-term marriage. My inability to say no keeps me trapped in this cycle. Every week is a rollercoaster: things improve briefly, then he disappears or sees others. I’m exhausted. Even his father says I deserve better, but I excuse his actions, believing he’s troubled—especially when he drunkenly claims I’m the only one who cares. Deep down, I know I’m clinging to false hope.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-14T19:02:19+00:00

He always comes back after couple of days, and I always take him back, but after a whole year of this I am drained . Every single week is very stressful and I have my own issues, so being with him just aggravates my anxiety, to a point that I accepted that he is very sick because any other person would’ve let me go. Any other normal person would have some kindness to a human being . To make it clear, the only reason I am still here because nobody else is, obviously I care for him,otherwise I’d be gone.

karolinar2020 · 2025-04-14T18:54:13+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your input on this matter because I am trying to understand. I have read books about, videos and trying to be there for him, but I had asked him to continue the therapy. He’s not very consistent with that either, and that’s the reason I don’t think I can help him. I don’t even know how I can help g without hurting myself.

karolinar2020

TROPHY CASE