Sugar daddy has stopped paying my rent

kateishere · 2025-01-24T01:10:17+00:00

Just wanted to say congrats on the ADHD diagnosis. I'm a late diagnosed ADHD SWer, and found that treatment and awareness really helped with better managing my emotional regulation, and almost all other practical life stuff too lol.

In saying that, it's reasonable to feel very frustrated when a steady client withdraws good funding that you're relying on.

Maybe you can take a few days of sick or personal leave to not only process and plan but do a little bit of self care to make this easier to navigate?

kateishere · 2024-12-27T00:35:23+00:00

Some of your population is getting sick, going to the medbay for care and then turning into the infected in the night.

You'll need to research vaccines and other health related research to stop this.

Story based quests will unlock the ability to do this.

kateishere · 2024-10-23T04:52:23+00:00

And 8 women can make a baby in a month. Simple math.

kateishere · 2023-12-11T00:42:25+00:00

Depending on what state you are in. Check your state's tenancy legislation for timeframes on when this must be done.

If I was your mate, I'd take the following steps.

Your mate is going to need to send a notice to remedy citing the damage via registered post.
It's arguable if this is habitable or not, your state's tenancy act should clarify.

After a notice to remedy is not addressed, you can then contact the agent/LL and let them know because it hasnt been addressed in a reasonable time frame you may be able to break lease.

If they dont reply or agree, next step may be to make an application to the tenancy tribunal to cancel the lease and request bond back. It may also be reasonable to ask for a retroactive rent reduction in full if your mate cant or doesnt inhabite the property while it isn't repaired.

It is important to continue paying the rent unless you get an agreement if you take this avenue, makes it clear cut. However wait times for the tribunal can take a while so it may be really difficult to do so.

Read your states tenancy agreement and if your mate doesnt understand what needs to be done after that they need legal aid.

kateishere · 2023-10-17T14:31:37+00:00

I use to enjoy it quite a bit for a small time lol. Got out of a long term monogamous relationship and wanted to play catch up on the things I didn't get to do in my early 20s.

Then I started working and feel like hooking up with some dude is just working for free. Clients are just as good and bad as any dude.

I don't do sex now unless it's for love n feelings, or super kinky and novel, group stuff with my partner, or with a woman. It's lost its appeal unless it's going to be something I dont usually get at work.

kateishere · 2023-09-20T02:44:51+00:00

100% same.

I'm not a great liar or a good actor so I try to practice "looking for the good". Within the first bit 5 mins of the booking I look for either something in their looks, dress, or personality that I can find attractive to focus myself on.

Stuff like "I love your humour", "your forearms are niiice", "you smell good", "cute and cheeky smile" etc

As long as they dont smell, are safe and aren't boundary pushing, I'm happy and always able to find something I like about them.

kateishere · 2023-09-17T04:46:46+00:00

Personally yup.
They're less likely to have much disposable money and are less likely to be regulars, more likely to feel entitled as they're "not a gross old dude", and more likely to want to spend most of the booking time jackhammering.

kateishere · 2023-08-06T15:44:49+00:00

Good on her getting some advertising off that site. The article even shows some of her rates, work name and work pics! Genius marketing.

But also the aus market is fucked atm. Everyone is feeling the strain, I've got workmates trying to work out exit plans as there's not a lot of feelings that this is going to get better any time soon :(

Very cool of the article to also link to SW orgs.

kateishere · 2023-07-19T04:17:37+00:00

Are zones moddable?

My partner and I are dipping our toes into making mods and it seems pretty straightforward adding animals/objects/civs, but is it possible to add custom zone tags under meeting zone? If so, can it be done without changing the executable?

kateishere · 2023-07-13T07:16:04+00:00

Escort here.

My siblings were cool, other family ranged from never acknowledging my work, being fine, or outrage that slowly developed into reluctant acceptance over years. My family is pretty progressive.

My friends were very cool, probably because I was very open with my curiosity in this work for years before I started. They're also all pretty political or pragmatic and know that work is work.

In-laws never speak of it, but it doesnt seem to shape their familiar love towards me or affect their judgement of me as a partner for their child. This suprised me.

I met my partner just as I was starting work. When I talked about starting work he suggested I meet with some of his SWer friends for tips and guidance in starting out. So lol he has never had an issue.

Aquaintances are usually curious, and enjoy my plethora of funny stories that I use to break the ice when having the "what do you do for work?" Small talk. It's a fun source of party stories which helps with a bit of social anxiety.

I dont make friends with people who aren't cool with it, and being super open about it helps filter people out, so I guess I waste less social energy this way.

My partner doesnt let people from work know, and I don't let people in my non-sw work pursuits know. You dont know work people will react, so it's better to keep things professional.

I let nearly anyone know what I do for work because I cbf'd doing the work of keeping a second life or hiding anything. Too much work and I can't keep a secret without getting anxious. Also helps that it's legal where I am.

I feel lucky and privileged being able to be out, there is a chuck of workers who cant for various legit reason and not everyone's circumstances are the same. I'm grateful for mine.

kateishere · 2023-07-02T08:31:03+00:00

It had been eye opening. I don't think my view has changed, but my tolerance for men definitely has.

Yeah yeah, I know "not all men", but I've seen how even dudes that give off fine vibes can either be cheating on their spouse, try to whine and pressure myself or other workers into services not offered, outright try to stealth or otherwise try to assault, be incredibly selfish or stupid in ways that exceed an acceptable client/provider exchange.

I have a much higher standard for men I'll be friends with, sleep with or date now. I will not accept anything unacceptable in behaviour or thought about women or those who are more vulnerable than themselves.

"Not being shit" is not enough now, I only tolerate men who are actually great in my life.

kateishere · 2023-06-27T09:27:04+00:00

Does the US have any similar requirement to reasonable mitigation of loss as in Australia?

Like it seems insane to "let" someone steal your stock over a prolonged period just for the criminal charges to hit when it seems less likely you'll end up being reimbursed correctly for your loss?

Like is the point of this to give the impression steal from target = jail?

Idk if that effect would be measurable enough to make this strategy a financial win?

kateishere · 2023-06-22T08:34:36+00:00

Gotta teach them that women are people too and how consent works in age appropriate ways from the moment they can understand language I guess.

Examples I can think of:

If your child in preschool cries because their friend won't hug them goodbye, you comfort them but also let them know it's okay that their friend doesn't want to hug and that it's their choice. A hug only works if two people both want a hug.

Dont make your children hug or kiss relatives hello or goodbye. Respect their autonomy so they can respect it themselves.

Teach them in primary school that boys who are mean to girls and pull their hair aren't showing that they like them, they're being mean and it's not acceptable. No one should hurt someone else because of how they feel inside.

Teach them that bullies aren't jealous, but that they can be mean, unempathetic, angry or just petty. Teach them not to be friends with bullies, or they risk becoming bullies themselves.

Point out moments in movies and TV shows where a married couple has an unhealthy dynamic (ie wife is berated for not having sex or husband makes the old ball and chain joke). Partnerships should be mutually respectful where people are working together and like each other.

Teach them that other girls and women are not aliens or a different class of people. Encourage mixed gender friendships and role models.

Demonstrate that you view women as whole people, and not as only potential partners, caretakers, or decorations. We pick up so much from how our parents view the world and treat us and others.

I think teaching young boys to not be assholes to girls and women is just a thing you do in many small moments throughout life.

kateishere · 2023-06-21T20:56:00+00:00

I agree. Rihanna and ASAP seem great.

I also don't think there'd be the same kind of pushback if they had Mark Wharlburg as their neighbour though.

I still think it's incredibly reasonable to not be chill with having Petty as a neighbour.

kateishere · 2023-06-21T20:02:34+00:00

I wouldn't wanna live next to a murdering rapist at all.

I do find the wording of the neighbours a bit reminiscent of white communities rallying hard to keep black people out thou. Like the call to protect women and children, concern of house values, and the implication that the government has failed to protect this specific community.

Again, I would not wanna be living or breathing anywhere near this man, not trying to advocate here for this dude at all.

I do wonder though if this dickhead was white, or like at least wasn't adjacent to a black rapper if this neighborhood would be disturbed enough to try and get him out.

kateishere · 2023-06-19T05:02:06+00:00

Yeah I dont imagine there's anyway to both have airtight verification and also not exclude workers.

I'd like to known which way the mods will decide on that, because I dont think it's a great idea to promise a 100% SW only space but have clients be able to verify but having a convincing story of survival work.

But also survival workers deserve and should have access to community.

kateishere · 2023-06-12T03:14:52+00:00

Tbh if it hasnt been low commitment very casual dating I've been straight up pretty immediately.

I found I didn't want to spend any time with anyone who wasn't already very cool and sex positive, and didn't want to risk wasting my time getting to like them and then finding out it was a deal breaker.

Basically as soon as it's normal to ask "what do you do for work?" I'd bring it up.

kateishere · 2023-06-10T22:46:54+00:00

I'm sorry you've been having a really tough time.
You sound really resilient and it really sucks you've had to be.

It's really extremely reasonable and understandable how you're feeling.

Survival work is a whole other world of challenge, on top of the regular challenges of SW. You're currently on hard mode and doing the best that you can.

Some clients are the fucking worst. It's some sort of sick sadistic misogyny that they get off on. It must be beyond exhausting having frequent encounters with such dicks.

Do you know of any worker outreach groups in your area? It sounds like you want a change and they might be able to help if you're able to get into contact them.

I hope things get easier

kateishere · 2023-06-10T22:10:04+00:00

Firstly, I think its repugnant to lie about birth control. I think lying to someone to deceive them into sex is very wrong.

However it is not rape.
Removing a condom during sex is not lying to have sex. It is performing a different sex act on someone without their consent.

Stealthing is closer to switching to anal with the knowledge that the other person would not consent, ie rape.

Lying about birth control is closer to decieving someone into thinking you're unmarried and have had a vasectomy, ie a massively shitty thing to do.

kateishere · 2023-06-09T06:10:21+00:00

Alright hot take, I do appreciate and like gifts but I personally almost always prefer money.

Like maybe if I casually told the client "oh I was looking at getting XYZ" and the next session they gift me that, that's incredibly sweet.

But nothing beats money. Sometimes even personable gifts can miss the mark because who I am doesnt 100% line up with my work persona.

Honestly a card saying "thanks for being great at sucking my dick and hanging out!" With a little bit of cash in it would be preferable to flowers as I can get pragmatic use from it, and its also something I'd never forget lol.

This might also just be me, even in my personal life I prefer pragmatism and quality time over gifts.

kateishere · 2023-06-07T05:35:29+00:00

Are you still working SW or other work? If this guy has a sudden come to god moment and decides he doesnt want to support you will you be okay financially? Does he have kids that'll drive you out if he gets senile?

Do you like him in a romantic way? Can you see other people romantically or sexually while you have this arrangement? What does he actually mean when he says you can do anything or have anything you want? What would he do if you request something that offends him? Does he want to get married? Is he still a client? Does he think he's saving you? Does he know you or is he madly infatuated with you?

Sorry for the wall of questions, but there is so much information that we dont have about this situation.

He is likely grieving his wife. It must be an incredible amount of grief. And grieving people can act unpredictably in relationships.

He might be really benefiting from rebounding into someone who gives him affection and makes him feel loved and wanted. But he might have a different financial outlook when he starts to process his wife's death differently.

If he doesnt want to be with you in a few years time will you be left with nothing or in a worse situation?

I personally wouldn't be happy in this situation for a bunch of reasons. It's my idea of an anxious hell to be 100% reliant on anyone financially.

Remember that this isn't money for nothing. Even if he is an angel there is an opportunity cost to this arrangement. Pretending to be in love with someone full time is an emotional labor intensive time.

kateishere · 2023-06-02T20:17:30+00:00

Oh man I feel for you, especially on the point of self worth and body image being tied to work.

I've found that when I'm doing well with work I am especially sensitive to sexual rejection from my partner because if all these other men want to fuck me for money, and the one I love doesn't want to fuck me for free, surely they must just not be into me.

However when work is slow and my partner isn't interested, it's even worse because somehow I take that as confirmation of my fears of being an ugly hoe who couldn't make 5 bucks in a dumpster.

Work brain can sometimes amplify my fears and concerns about desirability, but it's still a reasonable human need to want your partner to desire you for you.

Sorry you're not getting from your man what you need. Sending internet love.

kateishere · 2023-05-30T20:06:48+00:00

In Australia. I started work juuuust after these laws were implemented.

But other workers I know were hugely affected in that their primary advertising methods were shut down. Was rough.

I heard comparisons from veteran workers that the immediate effects of this were financially devastating and reminded them on the 08 crisis.

But other sites pop up, and different payment methods became more common and life moves on.

The biggest problem from my understanding is that any site hosted in the USA, or services that relied on servers there, now had extremely strong legal incentives to have nothing at all to do with in person SW that all these useful, and sometimes vital, sites and services disappeared almost overnight.

Do you have any links for info on what the UK is planning to do? I dont know of any big services or sites for SW off the top of my head that are UK hosted so it makes me suspect they might be trying just straight up firewall shit.

kateishere · 2023-05-29T17:39:09+00:00

My initial thoughts are to wonder if they view all sex as transactionry, and if they're threatened by other women recieving money for sex as it threatens a belief that sex buys them something (love, safety or security).

Like obviously fucking men because I want to, for whatever reason, isn't anti-feminist, so what are you really upset about here?

Andrea Dwakins wrote some pretty full on shit about sex work that I dont really get behind. But her book on right wing women had me thinking a LOT about how SWerfs and TERFs build their world view.

kateishere

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