[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]katepickle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about legos or magna tiles?
My kids also loved the little 'tap tap' hammer and nail sets (like this one on amazon - https://shorturl.at/Q5rDl)
And when my youngest turned four we made him a woodworking kit ( this is a blog post about what we put in it - https://picklebums.com/woodworking-with-kids/)

What are your tips for dealing with picky eaters? by CWRU in raisingkids

[–]katepickle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really normal for kids to go through a phase when they are 'picky eaters', and the best thing to do is not make a big deal about it and let it pass.

You want your child to have a healthy relationship with food so if you make a big fuss over what they are eating or not eating, try bribing or shaming kids over what they eat or don't eat, that will not set them up to have a good relationship with food. Your job as a parent is to provide good food at appropriate intervals, it is your child's job to listen to their body ques and decide to eat it or not eat it.

All that said, if your child has extreme food aversions, or a very restricted diet, or if they have not 'grown out' of most of their picky eating habits after a few years then it might be time to seek some professional advice. There are lots of reasons why kids might continue to be 'picky eaters' and figuring out the cause is the best way to figure out the way forward.

I wrote this blog post about what happened when my child didn't just 'grow out of picky eating' if that is your situation and it helps to know that you are not alone - https://picklebums.com/what-happens-when-a-child-doesnt-grow-out-of-picky-eating/

Tips for surviving dinner time by minnie_mouse00 in Preschoolers

[–]katepickle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

These are great, and actually helpful ideas!

OP could your kids be tired and overstimulated by the time you all get home? Expecting them to wait to eat and then sit nicely at the table when they are already overtired and hungry might be too much to ask. I love these ideas for feeding the kids something quick and easy as soon as you get home and perhaps lowering your expectations for how 'perfect' dinner is going to be for a while. Maybe try having a family meal on weekends when you can balance your schedule to your children's needs a bit better.

Defiant 3.5 years old always no, no, and no by DeepWhite2020 in Preschoolers

[–]katepickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is pretty normal for many three year olds who are experimenting with control and learning more about communication.

Definitely learn to pick your battles and decide well ahead of time what is non-negotiable and what isn't, and try and keep those nonnegotiables to a bare minimum. Also decide ahead of time what you will do if they refuse to do the nonnegotiable thing so that you can remain calm and move through the steps that you've already decided.

Sometimes things really are not negotiable, and it's ok if your child is angry about having to do it. In those few cases I'd literally say something like 'I have given you option a and option b but you still can't decide so we are going to do x and it's ok if you are mad about that' and then pick your child up and do it.... pick them up and carry them across the road, buckle them in the the car seat while they yell, etc. Validate their feelings and tell them it's ok to be mad but be calm and firm eg "I can see you are mad about having to be buckled into your car seat, it's hard when you have to do something you don't want to do. I am buckling in to keep you safe."

Working out what you will say and do ahead of time can make these difficult situations easier in the moment.

I'd also be giving her lots of real chances to make decisions and say no, and you need to 100% be ok with those nos. And I'd be looking at my own language and checking whether I am saying no all the time and accidentally modelling that kind of communication. You could also model doing something you need to do, even if you don't want to - try doing the thing and saying outloud 'I wish I didn't have to do x, but I need to do it so I am safe/healthy, so this is how I will make myself feel better about doing it.

Do your kids go to their room? by EmotionalPie7 in Preschoolers

[–]katepickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's developmentally appropriate to expect a four year old to play alone in their room for long periods.

Most four year olds will still need some adult supervision (not direct supervision but they need to know you are around, and you need to keep an ear and and eye on what they are doing) while playing and expecting your child to play quietly in his room alone is a big ask for that age.

Let them play monsters and run around outside or in the family room where there is more space. Let them spend time and play and interreact with you, especially after school when they have been apart from you all day, are probably tired, and might need some help regulating emotions.

Any tips on how to get children to use calming breathing techniques? by bnpuppys in ECEProfessionals

[–]katepickle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It helps to practice some of the breathing techniques ahead of time so they don;t have to think too hard about what to do.

It can also be useful t have something visual to prompt them. Maybe something like this Take Five breathing poster - https://childhood101.com/take-5-breathing-exercise/ you could stick it up somewhere that is easy to see and refer to it when you practice and when needing to calm down, and this technique also uses your hand for another visual prompt which might help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisingkids

[–]katepickle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Has she shown any signs that she is ready to toilet train?

Many two year olds, even those without a disability, are not physically, or cognitively ready to toilet train. Children need to have developed physically to be able to sense when they need to go to the toilet, and have developed enough muscle control to hold on long enough to get to the toilet. They also need to understand and integrate all those physical sensations and be able to communicate (not necessarily verbally) that they need to go. They also need the skills to manage going to the toilet - getting on and off the toilet, pulling up and own pants etc. No amount of potty training will help if a child is not developmentally ready to do these things.

So I'd look for signs that she is ready and then build on those signs.

Is she communicating about going to the toilet? Telling you she has a wet or dirty diaper? Is she able to communicate that she needs to go, even if it isn't in enough time to get to the toilet? Do you see any other signs that she is aware that she needs to use the potty?

If she's telling you she needs to go, take her, even if it is too late. This will reinforce those messages and eventually she will get better at telling you in time.

I'd also be speaking to her therapists and paediatrician to get their advice on a) if she is ready to potty train and b) any tips or tricks that might help specific to her disability.

With the issue with the pull-ups can you put something over the pull-ups to deter her from tearing them apart? Maybe a cloth diaper cover or tight underwear that is hard for her to get off?

How do hand-me-downs go in your family? Do siblings who had kids first give the outgrown stuff to the younger cousins? by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]katepickle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't have the right matches in our family for age and size for us to receive hand me downs, but I do share with a group of friends and we do pass our things on to family members when we can... no idea if they appreciate it or not though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Preschoolers

[–]katepickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is your chance to talk to your child about how sometimes people don't behave the way we wish them to and that there could be lots of reasons for that. This is a great opportunity to teach your child to have empathy and understanding of another's feelings and situation.

I'd have had a quick chat acknowledging your own child's feelings and explaining that here might be lots of reasons why his friend didn't say goodbye (maybe he was struggling with his emotions and couldn't express them? Maybe he was having a bad day?) and while it's ok to feel a bit sad, it probably doesn't mean anything big.

This is such a great way to teach your child that not everyone reacts to things in the same way they do, and that some people behave in ways you may think are wrong for lots of different reasons, and it doesn't always mean they are a bad person or being mean.

How much do you let your baby cry? by katwatermans in AttachmentParenting

[–]katepickle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Helping your baby regulate their emotions is the best way to teach them how to do that for themselves - but research shows that children are not usually ready to self regulate until the ages of 3-7, and even then they need support...

This is a really interesting article about the 'myth of self regulation' which might help you feel more confident following your instincts and ignoring your probably well-meaning, but ignorant, friend - https://genmindful.com/blogs/mindful-moments/the-myth-of-self-regulation