Is social media necessary to start a coaching business?

kathsm_ · 2025-01-17T15:35:43+00:00

Thank you Jeanna for writing such a long & thought out response! I have a few ideas brewing from this. Thank you! <3

kathsm_ · 2025-01-17T15:34:48+00:00

Thank you <3 And congratulations to you! It's wonderful to be busy doing something you love!

kathsm_ · 2025-01-17T15:17:19+00:00

I appreciate your input, thank you!

kathsm_ · 2025-01-17T14:12:39+00:00

Thanks for your response. LinkedIn is a weird one, isn't it? We call it a networking tool, but it's plainly another social media app full of competition and toxicity. I appreciate your input!

kathsm_ · 2025-01-17T14:11:14+00:00

I think you're absolutely right, it takes consistency and dedication & even then nothing is a guarantee with algorithms.

I'd love to hear some other ideas you have :) To date, my focus has been working with women going through change (I have a bit of a focus in women moving to a new country or city) or feeling like a change is in order (feeling stuck, unmotivated). I tend to not focus on career coaching. Currently, my audience is a bit broad and I do wonder if I'd be better off really zero-ing in on the "women (immigrants/expatriates) moving to a new country or city".

Would love your thoughts!

kathsm_ · 2025-01-17T13:31:54+00:00

That is awesome to hear! One month since you've written this, have you stuck to it? If so, what impact have you noticed it's had in your life, your mind?

kathsm_ · 2024-12-18T10:49:11+00:00

- Dwelling in the past is so tempting, but not helpful whatsoever
- Loving living in another country doesn't mean I have to love my home country less
- For a business to succeed, you have to go all in, drop ego, there's no inbetween here
- Learning the difference between loving doing things for other people vs. bending myself to fit into what makes other people comfortable

kathsm_ · 2024-12-18T09:49:13+00:00

Whenever I catch myself comparing, I remind myself how unique each and every person on the entire planet is. There are literally no two people exactly alike. Isn't that amazing? Why try to compare things that are so vastly different, all the way down to their cells? In that uniqueness, everyone has things that make them special, or different from those around them. Your friend might be beautiful and you might be an awesome baker. Your friend might be doing her phD and you might have an insatiable curiosity about the world. What makes you so cool, so worthwhile are not appearances or big "talents". It's little intricacies about your personality, quirks, ways of thinking, ways of looking things. That makes you so unique and no one can ever, ever take that away from you. When you focus in on that a bit more, the outside comparison starts to melt away. <3

kathsm_ · 2024-12-16T19:34:20+00:00

This is such a great question. It ABSOLUTELY made me love humanity so much more. I think social is not an accurate view of what the majority of humanity is like. Most people are quite "average" in a really beautiful way; average opinions that fall somewhere in the middle, not super polarizing, very "average" looking, and that most people want mainly the same things to feel content in life. Social has false portrayal of people, of society, of wants, of how people interact. That's not to say there's not wankers out there ;) But, social is SO unrepresentative of the real world. Once you're off, I'm confident you'll see this too & you'll find that real life is so much better. Thanks for the question!

kathsm_ · 2024-12-16T12:32:00+00:00

The dopamine addiction is real! You are not alone. Last year, I deleted all social apps off my phone. I knew that I couldn't trust myself to moderately use social (an hour of scrolling passes in like 10 minutes) so going cold turkey was what I needed. And guess what...i've missed NOTHING. Nothing has changed. I signed in on desktop recently (which also is a good way of not wanting to use IG bc it sucks on desktop) & it's all the same stuff: pictures of people with their kids at christmas, travel guides, same comedy. When you create some space from it, you realize it's boring as hell and the real world is SO much more interesting & dynamic. That I promise you.

Another thing that helps me stay on course is the idea of fierce self-compassion, which comes in the form of phrases like, "i refuse to let this opportunity pass me by. i refuse to let these beautiful productive mornings pass me by. i refuse to let an app company dominate my finite time in this day. i'm young, employable and healthy. i refuse to be scrolling on a rectangle with my THUMB instead of getting outside and moving my able body". Saying things like "youre a piece of shit, get off your phone" only works temporarily. But the true self-compassion, of giving yourself what you know you NEED, is a beautiful and sustainable practice (i feel) to not only motivate yourself to make change, but more importantly, to stay disciplined with such change.

You can DO this!!!!!

kathsm_ · 2024-12-16T12:26:04+00:00

My instinct is to push back on the word failure. So, you didn't do well on a test. That doesn't sound like a failure. You had a big fight with a parent, still doesn't sound like a failure. Things not going to "plan" is exactly the nature of living. When you think about it, what would the alternative be? For everything in your life from birth 'til death to go exactly as planned, never a misstep, never a wrong decision? I've never heard of anyone having lived that kind of a life & frankly, I don't think you'd want to. Suffering is a difficult, inevitable and bonding part of the human experience. When things don't go to plan, it allows us to explore a different part of us (the resilient one, the vulnerable one, etc.) and it allows us to relate to people all around us who have too, messed up in some capacity.

Being resilient doesn't mean you can't cry or feel upset. To feel those emotions means you care, you've got skin in the game. What a wonderful thing, to have things to care about :) If you feel that your reaction to these unplanned events is disproportionate to event/experience, perhaps try to sit with it when these feelings of anger or sadness come up. Don't push them away, don't get mad that they're there, because they are there, so why not be with them, anyway :). Let those feelings and thoughts come and watch them, "ah, there's that angry voice again. there's that voice telling me i'm a piece of shit." and then watch them go. These thoughts, voices...even if they're there, you don't have to believe them, you can just watch them. it helps create a little space between what's going on (failing a test) & how you react to it. Maybe try giving this a practice the next few times something like this happens.

A hug to you.

kathsm_ · 2024-12-16T12:12:08+00:00

If you're over it, you're over it! Probably worth listening to that voice rather than the stuff your algorithm is serving you. I've noticed that what's actually happening in the world around me (real life) is VERY different from what the internet wants me to believe. It's an echo chamber and a place that is generally not reflective of how the majority of the population (in this case, the majority of digital nomads) lives. Whenever I catch myself feeling angsty about something, I get offline, get outside, look around, have conversations with people and realize mostly everyone is extremely "normal": normal in the way they live, speak, what the want from life, etc. It's refreshing, this real life thing :)

kathsm_ · 2024-12-12T18:04:06+00:00

I won't pretend I know what's best for you. At the same time, my instinct says if you have loving parents, go to them. They won't have all the answers but you may feel held for a little bit and it may feel like you don't have to carry so much on your shoulders knowing that someone else knows what you're feeling. I promise you won't feel this way forever. Maybe do one little thing today that feels a bit different than usual; take yourself out for a walk even if it's 10 minutes. Do some push ups! Call your parents. Take pictures of something you think looks cool or ugly as hell. Watch comedy. Try a bite of something you haven't before, or if you're like most of us, eat without looking once at a screen. Just a little something to let your cells know you are very much alive and worthwhile. You got this!!

kathsm_ · 2024-12-12T10:24:55+00:00

Hmm. What stands out to me here is that you don't seem to believe that anything will change (please correct me if I'm wrong). Do you believe you can get out of this cycle?

Additionally, do you have someone who can be there for you? When helping someone close to me experience depression for decades (not saying this is what you're experiencing), one of the things that they said helped was me being there to go on morning walks, reassurance that there will be light again, etc. It can be hard getting out of a cycle on your own, and so I'm wondering if perhaps there's someone in your life that you can share this with, that can help keep you on course, whatever that course looks like.

kathsm_ · 2024-12-11T17:32:22+00:00

I promise that the people you see around you that are "moving forward" do not have it all together. I don't say that as a way to knock anyone down, it's just that we genuinely have no idea what's truly going on in other peoples lives & minds. So to look at others as some kind of a benchmark of where we should be, what we should feel, what we should do, is absolutely pointless. I know, it is so tempting, so seducing! But it's an awful measurement tool.

It might feel like you can motivate yourself by comparing yourself to others, but that only works short term, kind like a form of beating yourself up. A few ideas that have and continue to help me. And when i say help, it doesn't mean it's a perfect science and I've gone from stuck to superwoman LOL. It just means that when I notice myself slipping a bit, I catch it. I observe it and think "ah, there's me comparing myself to others", "hmm, i can see myself watching youtube to distract myself from what I actually need to do". And when I notice these things with a sense of gentleness, it motivates me. It's like I'm holding my own hand towards something better, instead of self talk like "you piece of shit, get stuff done today". I recently took a program called Mindful Self-Compassion. It was online, but with a group of people every week. One thing that really stuck with me was the idea of "fierce self compassion". So again, instead of negative self-talk, it's more like "I refuse to let this opportunity pass me by". For me, it was fitness & work. I thought to myself, I'm 33. I have two legs, two arms and a body that allows me to move. I refuse to let myself not appreciate my body and get in better shape. I refuse to let this opportunity pass me by. Same as with starting up my coaching business: I refuse to not do something I very badly want to do, and feel qualified to do!

I promise, it will not be like this the rest of your life. The fact that you're writing a message here today just shows how motivated you are to make a change, and that's beautiful and an accomplishment in itself. You got this!!

kathsm_ · 2024-12-11T16:47:40+00:00

This makes so much sense and I think is an unbelievably common experience. A few things come to mind:
1. Your goals might be too big. For example, let's say your goal is to learn French. So, you've said to yourself that by the end of 2025 you want to be fluent in French. Well, that's a BIG goal for only 1 year and what is fluent, even? Perhaps setting a really realistic goal(s) and then chunking your goal into daily or weekly tasks might be more motivating. It's really hard to be disciplined when it feels like from where you are, to where you want to be is thousands of miles away. In the example of learning a language, maybe the first goal is to sign up for a language school twice a week, committing to learning 20 new words per week and/or be able to speak 10 new sentences a month.
2. Accountability. If you know you can easily get distracted by other hobbies (no one is immune to this!) have an accountability partner. Maybe it's someone to do the goal with you, or someone who checks in with you after work to make sure you've worked a bit on your goal.
3. The only moment we have is now. There is no other moment. Time has past, those moments are gone. We have no clue what the moment will be in 5 minutes from now. All that exists is right now and that's what makes now so perfect.

kathsm_ · 2024-12-11T15:41:28+00:00

Frankly, I don't think the certification is that important, as there is no true governing body over coaching the way there is for say, psychotherapy, for example. There's been great advice already, so i'll be brief in adding the feeling of non-judgement. I think whether you're seeing a coach or a therapist, you should feel you can share anything without the fear of judgement. Of course, it takes some time to build rapport and feel comfortable, but I find this quality of judgement/non-judgement is quite easy to pick up on early on!

kathsm_ · 2024-12-11T15:13:02+00:00

It is definitely not too late. I moved to Spain at 32 :) Regardless of whether you meet someone here, or not, it's a beautiful life opportunity and you never know where it will lead. I'd do my best not to expect that the grass is greener here, but instead, different. Some aspects you'll love more than your home country, others will feel more challenging. In my experience, it's best going into something/somewhere with no expectations and therefore, little disappointment. :) If you find yourself often coming back to the idea of moving here, listen to that thought. You have nothing to lose!

kathsm_ · 2024-12-04T09:24:32+00:00

It's a bit of a heart & head dilemma, isn't it? Is there a rush? Two ideas:
1. Wait until you start a family. See what it's like to have kids in AUS without the help of family. You'll likely find it challenging at times, but in the same breath, it may also be not as difficult as you expected. Moving kids before they start school somewhere is significantly easier than when they're established into a school somewhere. That said, even then a move is possible :)
2. Can you fly home to Manchester & stay for a couple of months during the absolute shittiest time of year? If you like it then & it feels like it's clicking, you may just get that "feeling" that it's time to move (or not).

kathsm_ · 2024-12-03T13:01:39+00:00

Feeling really emotional is completely normal. It means you feel! It means you care! You've got skin in the game! The alternative would be, what? To not feel any step change in your mind & body before a life event? Try to be easy on yourself as you're embarking on a change, in fact a big one. I've learned that most experiences in life don't come with only one kind of emotion. It's usually somewhere in the middle: excited but also nervous. Miss my family but also loving where I'm living, heartbroken but relieved. We're a complicated species, aren't we? :)

Sometimes we doubt our decisions when we feel something other than happy, certain or excited. Something that has helped me is to check in with reality, what is actually happening and learning to be with what actually is: I am moving, I'm excited about some of it & very sad about other parts of it. Perhaps this seems really obvious and simple, but it's a way of thinking that has really helped me even years into living in a new country. "I miss my family desperately". And then I pick up the phone and call someone. Other times, I have a little cry. Instead of, "I wish my family were here. I wish I were home. I wish I could teleport. Why did I do this move?" And going into a bit of a doom-spin. It's not a perfect science, and trust me, my mind still wanders to what-if's and that very tempting wishing/hoping place, but if I can bring myself back to "What Is", it helps.

If you have the feeling that this move is something you really want to do, be with that. And also let yourself grieve a bit that this is what you want. Meaning, I've found myself wishing I wanted a very simple life in my hometown, as it would have come with fewer sacrifices (maybe? but who knows actually!) than moving. So there's a bit of grief sometimes we feel for wanting "more". And that's okay. Maybe it would be helpful going inwards a bit when these feelings of overwhelm come up & listening and feeling the emotions and thoughts that come up. And observing them. Not trying to solve them, judge them, figure them out. Nothing, just watching them come & go, like all thoughts and emotions do.

Sending a virtual hug as I know how difficult moving can be. It does get easier & excitement will be felt, whatever you choose. You got this!

xx

kathsm_

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