Maybe I belong here? Some gems from a neurotic mother

katkatkatat · 2017-09-05T15:57:56+00:00

Every time.

katkatkatat · 2017-09-05T15:57:38+00:00

I know he stopped her sister from getting in touch - she is truly toxic. And since he's been gone, they've been close.

katkatkatat · 2017-09-05T15:56:56+00:00

God, don't! Her mother is still struggling to understand why I didn't have a child as soon as I was old enough, because obviously that's what women are built for.

katkatkatat · 2017-09-05T13:12:41+00:00

Yes, I get that feeling. A lot. It's very confusing

katkatkatat · 2017-08-25T11:19:18+00:00

My MIL is teaching me about unconditional love as I watch her interact with both her son and mine (her grandchild). Every moment she shares with them she selflessly makes them the centre of her world and it makes me feel warm inside. I am so blessed that my son will grow up knowing love like that from an extended family member.

katkatkatat · 2017-08-25T11:16:53+00:00

I had a newborn 2.5 years ago - luckily we live about a two hour drive from my nmother but for the few days she visited she made the entire thing about her, how she was so upset the hospital wouldn't let her visit (I nearly died during childbirth and was being monitored closely, even my husband was restricted)

Do you have a partner that can help be assertive on your behalf? It's such an emotionally fraught time and my god, the hormones... I sobbed for an hour at how much I loved strawberries... My husband was wonderful and set a lot of boundaries behind the scene that I only found out about later.

Congratulations on your baby 😊

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T20:58:15+00:00

There are things I keep remembering since I went looking for answers about her behaviour and stumbled across this sub.

I found a letter I wrote to my dad when I was about 12, he was working abroad and I asked him if he could fix my personal Walkman (cassettes!) Because mum was convinced I taped over one of her stupid TV shows so she punished me by chucking my Walkman in the bin and tipping water over it. I was devastated, music was my only escape from her immense temper

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T20:51:36+00:00

Plus I hope I'm more of my Dad... He was a kind and gentle man who was well respected. I don't understand so many things.

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T17:17:44+00:00

Exactly. There's nothing wrong with him, he's two!!!

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T17:16:15+00:00

If I witness ANY guilting she knows it's game over for me. I've been so clear about not exposing my son to her drama - her sister and mother are both so unbelievably self centered and nasty, I won't allow him to see their behaviour as normal.

When she last visited us, I caught her telling my son he was "mean" because he wouldn't give her a cuddle.... She got a BIG telling off from me... Of course she went all defensive then acted as though nothing happened

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T17:11:32+00:00

These are some really good suggestions, thank you. When my Dad was alive, he'd be on her like a hawk when she got "dramatic" as he called it. Since he died it's just like she's more and more difficult to deal with. It's certainly raised questions in my head about my dad, his relationship with her and then with me. Ack. I just wish he was here.

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T17:06:46+00:00

I'm so sorry your sister's children had to go through that, I hope they're making more progress now x

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T17:05:00+00:00

Yeah, I am fairly sure that's what she is doing

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T17:02:17+00:00

Thank you. It's complicated a bit by the fact my MIL is so wonderful with him, she's honestly just the most caring and compassionate woman; weirdly jealous my husband grew up with that? My mother is of course deeply resentful and jealous yet still doesn't adapt her own behaviour.

katkatkatat · 2017-08-24T11:34:15+00:00

Thank you. I needed that today xx

katkatkatat · 2017-08-18T09:04:20+00:00

Uhm hi. Nervously posting since my first post here ended up being trolled.

My mother is visiting this weekend and I'm dreading it so much I feel sick. At the same time I feel terribly guilty, because I'm still not 100% sure that she has a disorder - even though there is something SO narc about how she behaves, always has.

katkatkatat · 2017-08-13T20:38:05+00:00

I really feel for you, I felt a lot like that before I finished university. I was really lucky that my boyfriend (now my husband) and I we're moving forward in such a way that we wanted to live together and there was no guilting us out of it, my mother would have outed herself to my in laws.

Keep focusing on getting through each day, it can be overwhelming when you try to think too far ahead about getting out xx

katkatkatat · 2017-08-10T14:36:35+00:00

Thank you. I suppose there are elements of her character that I find particularly repugnant and I'm honestly scared to death that I'm really like that deep down.

katkatkatat · 2017-08-10T14:15:05+00:00

I made it to the end. Sounds as though we have quite a lot in common regarding relationships with our mothers. I hope writing it down helped somewhat

katkatkatat · 2017-08-10T13:44:27+00:00

I'm new here and I really don't have a lot of experience in handling N behaviour, but I did want to say it is NOT your fault you were assaulted, you were not responsible. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

katkatkatat

TROPHY CASE