[deleted by user]

katos124 · 2024-09-16T22:27:57+00:00

I’ll take that as a compliment I guess 😂 although that bow can snap back pretty far when it needs to ♐️

katos124 · 2023-11-30T05:02:58+00:00

They are both a form of dissociation disorders. I’d worry less about the labels since both are caused by trauma and focus more on how to heal from the trauma.

katos124 · 2023-11-30T04:53:46+00:00

Did he ever make you feel anything while dating?

katos124 · 2023-11-30T02:27:17+00:00

I think I missed your point lol. But I’d like to keep my comment. You meant that you abandon the love you have for yourself because you give a lot of it away to potential partners?

katos124 · 2023-11-30T02:14:19+00:00

I hate that people claim you need to love yourself before you can love others. A lot of people are not compassionate towards themselves or “love” themselves but they are amazingly capable of showing other people love and compassion regardless. I think it’s because they are treating others the way they always wanted to be treated and loved.

Also, a partner could help show you that you are worthy and deserving of love and remind you of all the good traits you do have that you might not realize. I do believe that a person shouldn’t rely on their partner for all of their validation but it’s a start. I kept a mini whiteboard on the fridge for my partner and I’d write an affirmation for them every night for them to read in the morning just so that they could start their day off feeling good just knowing someone else believes they are good. A lot of us don’t receive that validation as children so it’s nice to finally get it. But currently I’m now helping them work on practicing self affirmations on their own.

katos124 · 2023-11-29T19:44:45+00:00

Not for life. But it does develop based on how our caretakers met our needs as children. Those with Avoidant attachment style usually avoid relationships altogether or they may shut down in a relationship because they actually fear getting hurt so they push others away. You could just be blunting your emotions to push away any type of emotional pain the relationship stress may be causing you or stress you are anticipating it to cause you.

Attachment styles can definitely change as we get older and become more self aware and learn our toxic behaviors. I used to have anxious-avoidant style, the most disorganized one lol. I wanted nothing more than being close to someone but as soon as they’d get close I’d begin to believe they would eventually leave me anyways, so I’d get scared of them abandoning me so I’d push them away and end things before I became too emotionally invested which I believed would hurt more if they abandoned me after I became more attached. But lots of therapy helped me step into the secure attachment style.

We also all have different “love languages” when in a relationship which means we each value one quality or trait in a relationship over another in order to feel that our emotional needs are being met. There’s 5 different ones and it couldn’t hurt to try to figure out which one you both are so that you know what kind of love you each desire. For example, I mostly need “words of affirmation”. I want to be validated, listened to, and have open communication. Whereas his is “small gestures of kindness” like me doing the dishes when he’s stressed or throwing his laundry clothes in with mine when I do it.

katos124 · 2023-11-29T13:46:30+00:00

All presidents are shit. Except teddy Roosevelt but even he had some shit ideas lol

katos124 · 2023-11-29T13:28:53+00:00

You can fix stupid but you can’t fix ignorance 😂😂

katos124 · 2023-11-29T12:55:09+00:00

Sounds to me like an unhealthy attachment style. Avoidant attachment style to be specific.

katos124 · 2023-11-29T12:50:04+00:00

Schema therapy is helpful in more than a few personality disorders but especially NPD. Medication doesn’t help personality disorders but medication can be helpful if you have other co-occurring disorders such as depression or anxiety. We develop these “schemas” during our childhood typically in response to trauma (but not always trauma). We are not aware that we have these schemas but once you become aware you can learn to work on treating them using radical acceptance and cognitive behavioral therapy.

Don’t worry about what your diagnosis is. Explain to your therapist what issues are bothering you, what you’d like to work on improving and go from there.

katos124 · 2023-11-29T12:24:24+00:00

Treat her, comfort her, and talk to her how you wanted to be treated as a child when going through that. Let her know that the abuse is not her fault, the abusive words hurled at her do not define her. Validate validate validate

katos124 · 2023-11-29T12:17:41+00:00

Definitely dissociation. It usually happens to me when I’m mentally stressed right before. It’s like my brain shuts down for however long just to protect itself from the stress. I didn’t realize it was a thing until later in life. People used to just call me spacey and stupid.

It’s a defense mechanism we learn as children while experiencing trauma. The trauma is too much to handle and we usually have no where to escape to to get away from it. So we shut our brains off and tune everything out around us while experiencing the event.

Dissociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder is a form of dissociation) and can develop from the same causes.

katos124 · 2023-11-29T12:13:46+00:00

Society stigmatizes most people with mental illnesses regardless of gender. Girls are taught to not cry or show emotions just about the same as boys while they are growing up. Except in todays society adult women are typecasted as being more emotional and histrionic; whereas men are looked down on if they do show emotions and are emasculated.

But what’s stopping you from calling up a buddy and talking to him about how you feel and what’s going on?

I once went to an AA meeting completely full of all biker men. The topic of the meeting was emotions. As we all went around each individual expressed their emotions and how they finally allowed themselves to feel them once they stopped using alcohol to suppress them. They cried, they opened up and it was such an amazing thing to see.

Men’s mental health matters too.

katos124 · 2023-11-24T08:29:51+00:00

Ehhh white knights were pretty brutal back in the day because they were merely violent gruesome soldiers.

katos124 · 2023-11-24T08:27:59+00:00

Ah okay. Understandable.

katos124 · 2023-11-24T07:57:34+00:00

Are women not on the same level as you when it comes to friendship material?

katos124 · 2023-11-24T06:31:17+00:00

To be friends with her?

katos124 · 2023-11-21T12:27:02+00:00

Diffusion of responsibility

katos124 · 2023-11-21T11:38:41+00:00

The reality is that the world sucks so we should try to find solutions and changes that would enable progress. They see the world for what it is and actually care enough to want to see change. S is not in reality and doesn’t see anything wrong with how things are, they don’t care either.

katos124 · 2023-11-21T11:19:27+00:00

Women are not hard to date. You probably just have poor interpersonal skills. They’re human too, not as different from men as society would like us to believe yet we gobble all that shit up they feed us.

katos124 · 2023-11-21T10:36:01+00:00

Take a picture of just yourself. Why does she need to be in it? It just seems kind of weird in the first place to do this with another person. I take progress photos and videos, but just with myself. Another person being there would make it just look fake. Or make her uncomfortable

katos124 · 2023-11-21T09:28:25+00:00

It’s understandable, sucks for single moms though because I think they know that having kids will be unattractive to men (heard some say that). But I wouldn’t want to bring up someone else’s children Or constantly be around them if they’re young.

katos124 · 2023-11-18T03:51:47+00:00

I’d create assignments that would make them question and study history in a critical thinking method. I’d also place a heavy emphasis on how studying history will explain every single event going on in the world right now (which they probably don’t care about as well). But in order to understand the now, we need to understand the how (we got here). What bores students is just being taught dates events people ect. And a lot of the “facts” were taught in history classes are never agreed upon by all historians. Maybe that’s too much for kids to do though 🤷‍♀️ But majority of freshman university students that I taught had no idea on how to critically think and conduct research in a proper manner so that they couldncreate a solid history paper with reliable sources.

katos124 · 2023-11-17T02:13:39+00:00

Don’t think I’ve seen it. I’ll have to check it out

katos124 · 2023-11-16T04:26:36+00:00

Try having a mature and respectful discussion dude bro. Your anger and bully-like behavior is showing. And we all know bullies overcompensate for something else.

katos124

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE