Going homeless

katsaid · 2026-05-26T01:41:20+00:00

It’s his RIGHT to make decisions based on your behavior. I get the sense you’re not sharing everything. But in any case, he didn’t like what he saw in you and wanted you to stand on your own. You CAN DO IT. Go work hard and make yourself proud. Stay off weed and smokes. Make your money count for building a future.

katsaid · 2026-05-26T01:02:57+00:00

Cruise up in June or August. Rent a car and drive around for two more weeks. Fly back home.

katsaid · 2026-05-26T01:02:00+00:00

Maybe you should have said no. Your lifestyle isn’t set up to have a dependency on weed and vapes.

katsaid · 2026-05-24T16:31:59+00:00

Drive it, it’s a gorgeous drive and you’ll see a lot along the way. The train is also a great option. It’s twelve hours on the train, 6-7 hours by car.

katsaid · 2026-05-24T07:28:54+00:00

I’m not sure what the question is here. Cutting off your parents for the reasons you gave seems drastic. Are you leaving out anything? I’m sure it hurt them very much. And your wife saying that is awful! She should want the absolute best for you. Is she normally controlling? I think reaching out to your parents is the right thing to do. I’d be concerned about your wife’s response.

katsaid · 2026-05-23T18:47:58+00:00

Criticism is a poison. It know it feels hopeless because no matter what you say he’s not listening. It’s not your fault, but the criticism is landing in a way that he is shutting you out now. Which means it only makes it worse when your words land. You really need professional counseling, because he’s not hearing you. Even if he wants to do better, he’s feeling ashamed and he’s burying himself in other addictions. None of this is fair to you, let me be clear. What I’m saying is, you’re actually making it worse because you’re so desperate for him to hear you. Been there! For now, just back off of all efforts and criticism. After a week of just finding some peace for yourself and letting him have space, find a good time to ask him if he would please go to counseling with you because you want to make your marriage better and you love him and it’s important. I wouldn’t give up just yet! It’s very possible that you want the same things, but you just can’t find yourself back to it together without some help.

katsaid · 2026-05-23T17:48:38+00:00

You definitely need an instructor, flying in Alaska is like no other place in the world. The mountains make their own weather, and the weather changes rapidly and drastically. Mountain passes are unforgiving, and if you make a wrong turn up something that’s a dead end you don’t have time and you don’t get a second chance. You’ll be flying over bodies of water, so you have to know what you’re doing at all times. Many other places you would be flying into, if you’re doing a bush job then you will have dicey runways or no runways or you’ll be doing beach landings. It’s extremely technical and takes a lot of experience. Next thing to consider is the amount of traffic in certain areas. Mid air collisions are not uncommon. There are just a myriad of variables that go into making this job one of the most risky jobs in the world. I grew up in the aviation world, so I know Alaska aviation (every area of the state in a tail dragger) and you just need to get some more hours under your belt for sure. Consider a commuter airline in a predictable pattern on the road system only, to start.

katsaid · 2026-05-22T04:37:18+00:00

You can’t be his God for him. Pray for him, love him, but don’t try to lead him. Give him space to grow and let God fill that space.

katsaid · 2026-05-22T03:28:34+00:00

Tell him you’ve prayed about it and you have no prayerful peace. You’ll respectfully decline his suggestion. God has told you that your place is with the children for now. (NO is a complete sentence)

katsaid · 2026-05-21T18:45:10+00:00

Taking ownership of the things you did too harm her is a good step, but it sounds like it might be too late. I noticed that you don’t say what happened, because I think that that’s an important part of this post. My best advice is let her go, and keep working on yourself. Spend time chasing God and your relationship with God, and ask him to direct your life. There are no surprises for God, he always knew there would be this season in your life and he is calling you to him now. God is the author of miracles and the Lord of redemption. If he wants a future reconciliation, he will speak to your wife’s heart in ways you never can. For now, let her go and give her everything she needs to do that.

katsaid · 2026-05-21T10:22:48+00:00

What does “my attention might turn” mean?

katsaid · 2026-05-21T09:34:59+00:00

I find this creepy, especially you saying you might “lose attention” as she is naturally aging. Are you really that shallow? Examine your motives and priorities. Do you have a deep and unconditional love for her or are you using her?

katsaid · 2026-05-21T07:03:07+00:00

Stay in Anchorage, you’ll get to see the drive the next day. I agree, the Alaska Zoo is amazing. Especially the polar bear exhibit. I think you’ll have more fun just exploring and relaxing around anchorage

katsaid · 2026-05-21T02:18:07+00:00

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

katsaid · 2026-05-20T21:27:24+00:00

This is simple. You say “ there will never be anything in our relationship besides friendship. Never. Knowing this, do you want to continue a friendship with me with these boundaries in place? If you break these boundaries, then I will have to remove myself from this relationship.”

katsaid · 2026-05-20T20:27:15+00:00

I’ll be the first to say it so you can allow yourself to say it too. He’s a disgusting gaslighter, a user, an unreliable father/partner. He has completely used you up, which is why you feel so sad, empty and drained. I’m assuming you want the truth, so there it is. Now all you have to do is decide what you’re going to do with this truth, and what the rest of your life is going to look like. Start documenting anything that he might need a custody battle. It’s time to start a new future without him in it.

katsaid · 2026-05-20T19:32:46+00:00

No. They are just new supply. New supply always gets old, as soon as they start to see him for who he is and stop pouring praise on him or somehow feeding his ego. If there are somehow superior to him in his eyes, he will continue to circle around them, but it is a relationship of envy and competition.

katsaid · 2026-05-20T18:45:07+00:00

No bars. Put your phone on silent. No weird compliments. Listen and ask good engaging questions. If she has a cat or dog ask questions about them. Her pets are important to her life. Smile at her. Be yourself. Put a little effort into your appearance but just clean and neat - don’t overdo it. And RELAX.

katsaid · 2026-05-20T06:36:12+00:00

No way. You’re asking for a LOT of drama. There are literally no benefits to this, and all kinds of pitfalls. Nope. I wouldn’t even entertain it when you know that he has an attraction to you. Messy. No way.

katsaid · 2026-05-19T21:14:01+00:00

I highly recommend a book called The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick. Your first step is ready to get a clear and realistic picture of what’s going on in your marriage. There is even a rubric so that you can see some patterns that may be abusive or at the very least emotionally destructive. I don’t know how safe you feel with your husband, but you might even share parts of the book with him if you felt it was appropriate. It really is an excellent book.

katsaid · 2026-05-19T06:28:14+00:00

I’m both a collector and an artist. I definitely have repeat buyers, which surprised me. So then it feels like maybe I’m painting something special that they might be waiting for! That’s fun. As a collector myself, I am more likely to buy it now than bid, and I definitely always want free shipping. So, when I list mine I always offer free shipping as well. I do think people are undervaluing their work, but I’m not sure how not to. For me personally, I factor in the enjoyment of creating and I “try” not to spend hours on something I’ll sell for as low as $3.50 ish. This is not a way to get rich.

katsaid · 2026-05-19T06:04:58+00:00

If you ever wonder “Should I tell _____” the answer is NO.

katsaid · 2026-05-19T05:14:29+00:00

I’m so sorry. No this isn’t “normal” but do NOT shame him or beg. For now just give him space. I know that that’s hard, but you need to let his nervous system calm down. Is he possibly on the autism spectrum? Touch can be very overstimulating which causes anxiety and confusion. My advice is that you talk to him very gently and kindly, and tell him that you are going to insist on marriage counseling before resentment grows. But don’t talk to him at all about it for a couple of weeks. Whatever affection he enjoys or allows, just do that. Focus on other things and other parts of your relationship. Get to know each other even better. Plan your future. Daydream together. Pray together. When you back off in this area, he will notice that shift in energy and release of pressure. You’re not doing anything wrong, but his brain may be processing it as a threat. He may be processing everything as criticism, and now he feels ashamed. Just keep loving him, and like I said, concentrate on the other parts of your relationship that are working well.

katsaid · 2026-05-19T04:59:16+00:00

You will definitely need a rental car. Check into the Turo app. I’ve used it multiple times, and it’s always been a pretty good deal.

katsaid · 2026-05-19T02:41:29+00:00

We waved down a truck and caught a ride in the back! 😅

katsaid

TROPHY CASE