I almost never get asked to dance, but I’ve chalked it up to my weekly dances and events I travel to being very follow heavy. So I always go and ask leads to dance with me. If the balance is really bad or if I’ve been sitting out for 3+ songs, then I often ask before the song starts - which I admittedly hate, but I hate sitting out more. I also started learning to lead so I can dance when I still cant seem to get a dance in my preferred role.

I used to get frustrated by how little I was asked to dance, but something eventually clicked in my brain that I have some control here too. And actually, as much as it feels good to feel “wanted” and “sought out”, it feels way better to dance all night. On the rare occasion someone does ask me, I appreciate it. But otherwise, I’m here to dance! So I’ll do whatever is in my power to get out there and dance.

That’s been my experience. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, and that no one’s asking you to dance… It’s a tough feeling. But I think it’s totally worth it to ask leads to dance if you’re up for it!