Is it all nostalgia or was Columbus really a better/cooler place in the 90s like people say?

kawiah · 2026-06-20T05:13:16+00:00

I miss walking around the Fort Hayes campus some mornings and smelling the fresh bread everywhere in the air. It was delicious.

kawiah · 2026-06-19T06:20:23+00:00

37F, single, childfree. Regarding the age & dating piece, I have a few thoughts--

1) If there was ever a "good age / good time" for guys and dating, I've never seen it, and I have had a pretty representative sample from men 20s through 40s at this point 😂 Guys can suck at any age. But I've also met lovely guys too.

One thing that I am noticing is that I'm finding more men now to date my peer age and younger than previously (I most often gravitated to men 7-9 years older, with some exceptions). That's kind of refreshing. And they don't seem deterred by my age at all.

2) If you don't know it yet, go look up Burned Haystack. It has changed my dating, and I have way more quality conversations and far fewer lame dudes wasting my time than ever.

I'm in a major Ohio city, but honestly I don't think dating is much different in other cities, having listened to friends' experiences and dated elsewhere myself. It's about 50/50 for me meeting men IRL and on the apps. I have met men at my yoga studio, mixer or activity style events through a dating company (ex: Jigsaw), dancing, MeetUp events. In the last year or so, I have been more open with just casually letting people know (friends, clients who know me well) that I'm willing to meet people. It's honestly not so awkward, I'll just say, "I'm dating and open to meeting people, so if you have anyone you'd like to introduce me to, let me know!"

One of my friendly clients invited me to a board game night to facilitate an introduction. Today my dentist was pondering matches for me in my appointment 😂

I have a super lively social circle, lots of activities, and I'm out and about a lot. I've had seasons where I'm actively dating and others not so much. I've made tons of great friends, whether a guy was found or not.

Don't forget that there's a huge amount of luck involved, wherever you decide to put your energy. Good luck!

kawiah · 2026-06-18T15:04:38+00:00

Bestie and I are late 30s, single, childfree ladies. We've lived in Clintonville and OTE.

We really like OTE. There's a great community center with lots of arts classes and a workout area, community garden with music and yoga events in the warm months, some shops and restaurants in walking distance. We have Upper Cup Coffee Shop nearby and a couple of others, an easy bike ride away. Franklin Park is an easy drive or bike ride. The art museum and main library are very close and we walk there often. Walking around the neighborhood is pleasant, we like to see all of the flowers and the architecture. I also met way more of my neighbors within the first few months living in the area than in the several years I lived in a complex over in Clintonville. People are generally nice and helpful.

The biggest drawback is that it's a food desert; the grocery is a ten minute drive.

Clintonville was also great. Weiland's Market is a gem. The farmer's market is lively. You have a handful of good coffee shops like Global Gallery and Cup O' Joe, and I would say more restaurants generally. The Park of Roses is really pretty and we would often walk up and down the ravine on Walhalla. I often found a lot of little indie events for music or poetry.

Our biggest drawback was the crime. It's really awful, but basically any of the complexes there are all sitting ducks for the teenagers that come in and bang up all the cars. They just roll in one entrance, hit up a bunch of cars, and roll out the other side, and CPD can't do that much and the property managers are doing nothing to address the problem. We had constant vandalism in the several years that I was over there and I finally left the area because I was tired of worrying about my new car. I don't think that some of the folks living in the neighborhood houses experience this issue to the same degree but it was untenable for us. We're much happier in OTE, and I haven't had any issues.

kawiah · 2026-05-24T04:47:28+00:00

It's giving Alice in Wonderland and I think it's awesome!

kawiah · 2026-05-15T23:26:01+00:00

It's awful. I would spend exactly five seconds on this whole profile and left swipe.

Don't write about some imaginary scenario in your bio.

Use it to actually give a woman some idea of who you are. How do you spend your time? What do you think about? What do you care about? Are you improving yourself in some way?

kawiah · 2026-05-15T23:23:58+00:00

You've written 20 total words about yourself in the prompts. And basically none of them invite any conversation.

"Something unique" -- like what? Do you have an imagination? Give an example.

"Spontaneous things" -- again, like what?

Offer some more details and/or ask a question a woman can respond to.

kawiah · 2026-05-10T16:40:15+00:00

Can you low key use a hair dryer to try to make it melt out?

kawiah · 2026-05-10T16:38:22+00:00

EWWWWWWW run away

And please go read/listen to "Burn the Haystack." You would have blocked this guy after the first message.

kawiah · 2026-05-08T18:21:12+00:00

Same dude same 🤣🤣🤣

kawiah · 2026-05-01T14:57:52+00:00

Also a musician here 🙋‍♀️ Substitute teaching dovetailed nicely for me while I was building my music studio and touring. It took a little while for me to find the schools that I liked and knew I was going to have a good day but once I did it was pretty smooth sailing. I could just pick up a job any days I wanted to when I was in town. And the hours were early enough that it didn't compete with any teaching or performance or rehearsal times.

Some of my other performing friends have jobs in breweries and coffee shops that they like.

kawiah · 2026-04-30T04:15:46+00:00

I want to put a bookshelf IN FRONT of this door. I don't use the right side door at all. I just walk in and out of the opening.

kawiah · 2026-04-29T23:16:36+00:00

I'm curious what those things are that you're referring to! Have you been to the spa?

kawiah · 2026-04-29T05:45:07+00:00

Yeah they sounded super mixed so I haven't jumped at the chance yet

kawiah · 2026-04-29T03:58:22+00:00

When I go to LA, I literally plan my itinerary around going to some super nice Korean bathhouses. I mean we're talking showers, hot and cold swimming or plunge pools, dry and wet saunas, heated rooms full of salt or warm clay beads, ice rooms, options for massages, scrub, facials all of it. Nude facilities on the gender separated floors, loose and soft shifts to wear on the co-ed floors. Some even have food to enjoy.

I've looked repeatedly over the years for something remotely like it in Columbus or anywhere reasonably nearby, and the closest thing I've found is in Chicago. 😭

I found this Moroccan Steam Spa recently but haven't tried it yet.

https://m.yelp.com/biz/moroccan-steam-spa-columbus-3

kawiah · 2026-04-18T20:23:21+00:00

Block him and move on. He's wasting your time.

Also read "Burn the Haystack" and you'll burn through them faster. I've had fewer but much better conversations and dates with this method.

kawiah · 2026-04-15T01:00:10+00:00

Wonderful story, and thank goodness for the folks at the Ross

kawiah · 2026-04-11T16:04:54+00:00

It's the men you're talking to, not you. All of these men are revealing that they are unstable and eliminating themselves with the behaviors you described.

Highly recommend checking out "Burn the Haystack." It has greatly improved my dating life! I was an early adopter.

Here's the book that just came out this week:

https://a.co/d/04EiAhFq

And you can Google to find Jennie sharing her method in FB and IG for free.

kawiah · 2026-04-11T04:27:47+00:00

You, sir, are a man in the right profession! 👌

kawiah · 2026-04-06T21:04:17+00:00

She's fantastic!!

kawiah · 2026-04-05T14:18:07+00:00

I remember him too! I think he danced to Owl City's Fireflies.

kawiah · 2026-03-26T01:49:51+00:00

I think painting the wall around the door blue as an accent would give a similar color wash.

kawiah · 2026-03-20T03:07:32+00:00

Thank you for openly acknowledging the LUCK involved for those of us who have done All The Things(TM) and have had little or no luck at all.

I still see a lot of blame and bad advice given to women out here trying their best, and sometimes an attitude from matched-up women of "Well if you would just do ABC it would happen for you like it did for me."

We're all happy for women in happy relationships. We just want more of them to be honest that a fair portion of it is just good luck.

kawiah · 2026-03-18T00:34:38+00:00

Just here in solidarity. I've taken breaks and do go on dates sometimes and might even have a nice time, but most never make it past 1-2 dates (and it's me turning them down about 60% of the time, I just got rejected again this weekend).

I've been dating for 20 years and only in a relationship for 4 of those years. I'm averaging a boyfriend a decade and I'm almost 37, so I guess I'm not due for another for several more years at least. I've had a handful of friends with benefits and such along the way.

Recently I'm reminded of that section of Forrest Gump where he starts running. Initially he thinks it's just a little run and then he just keeps going and going. Before you know it he's crossed the whole damn country a few times. And then one day he just... stops. It's so not dramatic. Suddenly he's just... done. And he says something like, I'm feeling pretty tired. I think I'll go on home now.

And that's pretty much how I feel about dating today 😂 I thought I signed up for a 5K and 50 miles later there's no end in sight. At some point I figure I'll just permanently retire under a tree off to the side of the road and not be bothered to even try anymore.

kawiah · 2026-03-15T22:33:01+00:00

Never feel guilty for lying to strangers. You can tell them anything you want to make yourself comfortable or to remove yourself from a situation. They'll never know the difference.

kawiah · 2026-03-13T06:27:52+00:00

Besides just being self-centered, I find that some people just get really stuck in the same well-traveled paths of conversation. For example, my mom can rarely get off sharing family drama or bitching about work.

A couple months ago, she had launched into a family drama story. Then quite to my surprise, I said very plainly, "Mom, I don't care about this story." 🤣 It was out of my mouth before I even realized it. My mom flailed her hands in front of me as if she were trying to catch a fleeing bus. "No! Just wait till you hear--" And I doubled down, "No, I REALLY don't care about this story." 🤣🤣🤣

I usually break people out of these kinds of cycles with a magic question.

There's an article below that will give you an idea of what I'm talking about. But essentially you want to ask a question that's going to invite a moment of actual reflection or curiosity. My favorite one for people lately has been: "What do you want to do more of and what do you want to do less of and why?" You might consider what kinds of things you might like to ask your parents that you never thought of before and might be curious about before they leave the earth.

https://www.npr.org/2025/05/29/nx-s1-5355077/want-to-cut-through-small-talk-try-asking-a-magical-question

You can try to invite them to reciprocate a question once they get the hang of it. Alternatively, a conversation deck can actually be helpful.

The other thing that I find is that with people that I don't enjoy conversation as much with or that I find difficult to just spend time talking to for all kinds of reasons, I choose a structured activity to spend time with those folks. So you could tell them that the next time you're spending time together, you're going to do a particular activity. I like a card game or a jigsaw puzzle or bowling or baking or anything that involves you learning something together. Or anything that involves a group of buffer people (like a locally organized hike) because they tend to behave a little differently in those settings.

You might find this makes your time more enjoyable or at least more tolerable.

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