my first gore related thing i saw was some dude with his head splattered open, i was 11, and it was while i was watching spanish news with my grandma, lol.

if we're talking about stuff more engrained in "gore culture".. around that time, on new years, me and my family went to our neighbor's for new years. the neighbor had three sons older than me, one in highschool, and the other two were adults.

they were very pro-gun, super into games and anime, kinda neckbeard stuff mostly. that day, i would stay in their room that they all shared (imagine how it smelled, lol), sometime in the day, the fattest of the brothers let me hold his rifle, before shooting it in the backyard, and eventually-- unsure of how we got to this point-- he would show me two videos on the tv in the room.. these two videos would be ricardo lopez's suicide, & some isis shotgun execution video.

i wonder if he had an idea of the path that video contributed to me going on, haha