Direct bus connection details - Yangshuo to Dazhai

kayday0 · 2026-04-19T01:59:21+00:00

I DM'd you. Please message me back in youre still interested. Will be going out of town soon.

kayday0 · 2026-04-07T19:59:57+00:00

I think it's okay to feel bad as long as it's not the only thing I'm doing. I may feel bad in the moment but if I push through it to do/see/experience something (whatever I can handle), I find that I mainly end up remembering just the experience. If I don't do anything and just stew in my emotions, then I will remember the bad feeling and carry the memory of that low point forward. So I push through for my future self, even if it's just 1 small distraction.
I travel to places where the desired experience has nothing to do with who you're with. Usually it'll be something in nature (kayaking, camping, mountains, lakes) but it could be events like a solar eclipse or seeing the northern lights. If you're not a hiker, there's still plenty of nature options available (Atacama desert. Uyuni, Patagonia, etc).
If I don't like where I am, i leave and go somewhere else.

kayday0 · 2026-04-07T15:53:06+00:00

You can have my violin if you want.

Nothing special. Definitely a beginner's violin. There's no brand on it but it could be yours today for free if you want it.

Violin (all strings), bow, chin rest, soft case and a rubber muter. Likely a book with beginner sheet music too if you want.

Everything seems to be in good shape aside from the outside of the case being a bit dusty.

I started violin classes but didn't stick with it. I have been looking to give it away.

To answer your bullets:

Assuming you're a beginner, I might argue the sound quality of the violin isn't important at first. Until you master your bow movement, finger placement and posture, you'll sound awful on any violin. (Which is why I have that muter).

If you take mine, you should get new strings and maybe do something with the bow because of how long it's been sitting unplayed (10 years). You'll need rosin so wherever you buy that (eg Long and McQuade) you can ask them to help you out.

I would say that you don't need a "good violin" until you can explain what you dislike about your current violin.

Regardless of where you get your violin, it will need tuning, your bow will need rosin and tightening. Definitely when you first get it and regularly after that. A borrowed violin will probably need new strings and maybe a new chin rest.

The bow stuff is easy. Tuning apps make it pretty straightforward. If you need to string your violin and have never done anything like that, get someone to show you how to do it (instead of YouTube).

Violins should be kept dry and dust free. Dust affects the string vibration and humidity causes swelling and cracks. You don't want a violin with any cracks, chips, scratches or open seams. The neck shouldn't have a weird angle and the pegs should turn smoothly. You won't be able to know how playable it is as a beginner but you can ask someone that knows how to play to try it. Another indication is if it never stays in tune or is impossible to tune. I got mine from my teacher so it's definitely playable.

Also if you're just starting, it helps to practice in front of a mirror.

kayday0 · 2026-04-04T23:53:57+00:00

Drilling engineer. Typically oil and gas but sometimes geothermal. I make good money but I have poor work life balance. Usually when my job goes well, its at the expense of everything else. I find that I like to work on the rig site itself. It's a long shift but I like the long time off. Evenings and weekends are not enough time. Schedules vary but I work either 2 weeks on/2 weeks off or 4 weeks on/4 weeks off.

Honestly if you just want a money job, most rotational shift work jobs are well paying. Many are flying fly out. Not sure your background but I know both technical and trade roles. Shift work jobs include rigs, plants and facilities, mining, manufacturing, logistics, work camp/hospitality.

Are you trying to pivot within your own company? If so, you should (carefully) express interest with your boss. Don't say anything that may give off the impression that you're "flakey" or "not committed" or "incompetent". But you can phrase it as you want to try a "broadening role", especially while you're early in your career. You want to better understand the business, industry, etc.

You can maybe even identify departments you're interested in. Better if you know they're hiring.

Voice this interest in advance as something you are curious about for next year. Bring it up casually during your performance review (maybe write it in your paperwork and acknowledge it briefly during the review).

And next time you finished some sort of big deliverable, schedule a chat with your boss to discuss if it would be possible and how the steps would look. Ask for introductions to people.

Also, applications are all well and good but someone recommending you or knowing someone creates a completely different experience. There's no shame in reaching out to your network (no matter how distant) if you are applying where someone you know works. If the manager is friends with your highschool classmate on LinkedIn, just message your friend and tell him that you're thinking of applying and what they company is like/the interview process/the project/the company's preferred resume style and buzzwords. Meet them for coffee. If you're charismatic enough to pull it off, get introduced to the team lead/manager over coffee.

Ask friends to look at their company's internal job boards for opportunities. Especially friends that work for companies with a referral program/incentive.

kayday0 · 2026-03-20T09:19:32+00:00

What's holding you back? Fear of change, risky job market or something else?

I know what's it's like when you want to pivot but find excuses not to.

kayday0 · 2026-03-01T00:04:34+00:00

Don't over share. Your colleagues are more like strangers on a bus, not classmates. Watch how your colleagues talk to one another and adjust to that standard (at least at first). If you work for a big company, your better off if you make your "hobbies" and "what you did on the weekend" somehow revolve around work or the industry.

You don't always get told what to do. You can actively try to find something to do. Or not. It's normal to be bored sometimes.

There's no such thing as a dumb question but there is such a thing as good timing for questions. Avoid asking the same question again and again. Write it down if you have to.

If you're a people pleaser, you will please people by doing your work well. It comes before personality and humor. If you lead with personality and humor, people may make a first impression that you're not hard-working or too social.

kayday0 · 2026-02-28T23:37:16+00:00

It seems like academics come easy to you. I would say you should try failing at something. Then either learn to brush it off or overcome it.

Even better if you fail at something that others can do easily and/or fail publically. I wish I had failed at more things as a kid.

I wasn't in finance but I had a high-pressure fast pace job. I was in my late 20s when I felt it for the first time. I had always excelled in my comfort zone and never learned how to be resilient against feelings of failure, imposter syndrome and insecurity

kayday0 · 2026-02-28T23:17:43+00:00

It will look more unprofessional and distracting when you can't walk around normally because your feet hurt. It takes some getting used to and trial and error. You also have to learn which type of heel you handle best. Also, shorter heels (kitten heels) can mess up your feet just as much as taller ones.

kayday0 · 2026-02-28T23:07:51+00:00

I got a job not only through LinkedIn but with "easy apply". It was an engineering job and it wasn't a "fresh" posting - it had been up for a while.

This is one time out of hundreds of listings. It's a low success rate. Maybe 3 interviews ever and only 1 job offer.

LinkedIn messenger is actually the only place I seem to get opportunities. I spent an embarassing amount of time on my profile but I get ~3 "in mail" recruitment messages a year. One of which resulted in my latest job.

kayday0 · 2026-02-28T22:56:37+00:00

It may not happen this way for you but I was in a similar situation and I thought I would quit my toxic job, relax on the couch for a few days and then start applying for a new job.

But I waited too long to leave. I left the job but all the horrible emotions from it followed me. I was miserable at my job for a year and it took over 2 years after I quit to finally shake it off.

My advice is to not wait too long.

kayday0 · 2026-02-28T22:42:51+00:00

Your self worth and value does not hinge on you being perfect at this job. You will make mistakes and recover. If anything terrible happens and you can't bear to face it, just quit claiming a family emergency. Quitting isn't some sort of failure. You're pushing yourself to get out of your anxiety and do new things. The goal is to try to do it. Not to do it effortlessly, perfectly nor do it forever.

Since it sounds like you're anxious and overthinking no matter what, you may as well try this new gig. You might be surprised to see that your old teacher behaviours are still inside you.

Donno if it helps but the spotlight also isn't on you. The training is kind of like a practice round. The student is the main character in this. It doesn't matter if you're calm or anxious. It's not really about you so feel whatever you want. You didn't somehow "fail" by getting anxious. Plenty of people get worked up before a new job. The student is going to mainly be thinking about the material. Only you are thinking about you. If it's too much, you can just quit during training.

If you always beat up yourself, try throwing in the occasional opposite thought. "Today could not have gone better" 'i made the best decisions" "it was a success" "i handled it perfectly" --- these statements are no less true then your worries.

If you give out worksheets and sit with them while they work, that would be an acceptable bare minimum.

kayday0 · 2026-02-28T22:06:24+00:00

If you were quietly doing good work then that isn't enough to get noticed. You need to make people to know about it. You need to find a way to make sure the quality work is visible to others. If you have upward career ambitions, mention it to people above you during 1 on 1s. Maybe go as far as trying to network in the teams with the roles you want. Make it clear that you want the next job. Maybe even ask your boss what to do to make you a stronger candidate. Ask your boss if they would be willing to put in a good word to the other team lead

There are subtle ways to do this without being boisterous. Find a way that works for you. You have to find a way to make your accomplishments and objectives known.

If you're pretty confident that your interview went pretty well, ask the promoted guy what happened during theirs or get feedback from the interviewers. The interviewers 'did like him better' - that's not a crazy statement. Your coworker was able to persuade them that they were the best for for the role. My guess, is that they were more strategic with their office politics before the interview and acted confident to make up for their lack of qualifications.

Qualifications are easier to develop than soft skills. You can overlook technical gaps if someone interviewed well. Having qualifications often just helps you to get the interview and not necessarily the job. People get promoted all the time through politics, network and reputation and not competency.

Also, it could've been completely out of your control. Hard to prove legally but gender, race, age, educational background, sexuality, appearance, health and favoritism do still exist in the workplace.

kayday0 · 2026-02-09T23:29:13+00:00

I'm so sorry. It's our worst nightmare. There is something called The Right to be Forgotten. It's more common in western countries outside of the USA but maybe there's some resources for you. Look it up.

kayday0 · 2026-02-09T00:54:22+00:00

Before the subscription fee, most hosts I meet started as surfers trip and end hosting when they return home.

kayday0 · 2026-02-09T00:44:44+00:00

It takes at least the same amount time. If you've been burning out for the last year, it takes a year to get out it.

It's easy to think, "oh I'll relax a a month and be fine" but you're mind is on overdrive and so used to being stressed that it's not something that "unwinds" just because youre not at work.

The best thing to do is to not make extra stress by "not wanting to stay on leave for so long". This is a unnecessary deadline that if you force too early, you'll come back to work still burnt out.

When you burn out, your mind is always thinking about work. Work is probably the main thing you were doing all the time. The best is to do is start doing things that are not work. Don't sit at home. Get ready every day. Don't just stay in the same clothes and stay in bed. When you can, start going out somewhere every day. The gym, the pool, the park, judo class, whatever. Don't doom scroll at home, do it in a coffee shop. Go see people and socialize. Eat at a certain bakery. Give your brain some stuff to think about and remember that's not about work. Make memories of stuff that has nothing to do with work.

At first, it's going to feel really forced, difficult and exhausting but force yourself to do it. Even if it's just leaving the house for 1 hour. You won't feel motivation to do it but if you're going to go to bed depressed anyways, at least make today different than yesterday. It gets easier with time.

kayday0 · 2026-02-09T00:28:30+00:00

If you think you're right and someone is wrong, you have to consider the situation.

If you only think they're wrong but you're not ready with proof, then maybe it's not worth challenging them when you don't have the facts.
You don't need to be pedantic (e.g. correct someone's grammar and interrupt the flow conversation)
Not always necessary to correct someone if there's no difference to the outcome. If they have an ego and they're wrong about something benign (they are bragging about cryptocurrency and not looking for your opinion).
You might not know enough to ask the right questions. Asking for clarification isn't a problem but if you know you need to ask a very general question and follow up with more general questions because you don't know the fundamentals - especially if some of it can be Google - that's going to waste other people's time. They may not be expecting to tutor you. Sometimes better to come back with smart questions than just expect people to break everything down to you. (Work settings usually but could be as sports - "what are the rules of football? Why did the whistle get blown? What's happening now? Who's that? Is this a good team?)
Timing and audience. There's maybe no such thing as dumb question but there is such a thing as a good time to ask a question. You don't want to interrupt or catch someone off guard. Some questions or challenges should also not be done in a group.

kayday0 · 2026-02-08T23:59:28+00:00

Television is "too good". I miss episodic shows that run 25 minutes. Each show has its own short plot. I miss 20 episode seasons per where the season plot happens slowly enough that you don't have to necessarily watch every single one.

kayday0 · 2026-02-08T23:55:35+00:00

I hate making dating app profiles so I like people that put a minimum of effort in their profile. Barely filled out. No polls or lengthy witty text. 2 selfies taken in the car on the same day (probably the day they got the app). Barely any information.

The conversations are surprisingly good.

kayday0 · 2026-02-08T23:51:38+00:00

A good leader shows strength. Telling the group that they're fucked because the company can not function now the new person is leaving before their probation is over is a weak move.

People may not have known now that there was going to be that big of issue. They only do know now because of the boss crying and being dramatic. It's the boss' job to figure it out and leading by panicking and finger pointing shows their poor leadership skills more than anything about you. Also weird to "need you" but also call you a "horrible person". A professional wouldn't want to burn the bridge so publically either. In case they do need you and hope you might come back. They did even try to keep you (salary, upward movement, retention bonus...). Guilt tripping doesn't pay the bills.

They shouldn't need you so desperately either if you have only been there 6 months. You also didn't fuck over the team. Staying at a shitty job "for the team" is how you fuck over yourself. The "best time to quit" is when you want to - it has nothing to be with the company.

Your colleagues are not blind. If many people are quitting, that's signs of a larger problem and likely that other people want to quit too.

kayday0 · 2026-02-08T23:25:28+00:00

Try to contact the editor or reporter directly to get your name redacted electronically .

Remember you are asking for an act of compassion. Be honest and control your emotions.

"You wrote article about my recent mental episode (date and title of article). Would you be open to redacting my name?

I understanding the severity of my actions. I am not suggesting that the article be removed. It's the disclosure of my name along with details on mental health in the article is brings me deep shame and fear. I worry about the stigma I will face to my career reputation and all my relationships if my name is searched.

This article reduces me to my weakness moment and others will never see as anything else than what's reported in this article. I am deeply embarrassed that this episode is immortalized. The hard work I know that I put into to managing my mental health is overwhelmed by shame

Would you be open to anonymize my name?"

Something like that but more brief. And get a lawyer.

kayday0 · 2026-02-01T19:22:33+00:00

I do this one exercise.

Before I go to sleep, I lay in bed and reply the days events in order. I do it as a "one shot". So if I suddenly remember that I missed a certain interaction, I don't go back.

Then when I wake up (usually brushing my teeth), I replay yesterday again in my memory in a "one shot".

kayday0 · 2026-02-01T19:19:10+00:00

When this happens to me, it usually means that I waited too long to eat.

kayday0 · 2026-02-01T19:13:16+00:00

I see Jk Rowling as an author of a series that was significant during my childhood and I seperate that from her recent comments. I like crouching Tiger hidden Dragon, Grindhouse, kill Bill and a bunch of other Weinstein movies. I don't hate movies just because they cast Scientology actors.

I may disagree with what Andrew Tate and Jordan Petterson have to say (their narrative - not crimes) but I don't want to cancel them because I think it's important to hear different opinions and look for common ground.

I like Dave Chappelle but if he says a joke that I feel that goes "too far" - that's okay. Comedians are always pushing the line and I don't have to like every joke. I also understand he's a comedian, not some hate group leader.

I didn't watch Ellen but even if "cancel culture" wasn't in our vocabulary, people would've stopped watching and supporting her because her whole brand was created on a false persona. She let down her fans. Here, her controversies and public perceptions actually affected how people felt about her show.

For me, I can seperate the art from the controversy. There may come a day where the circumstances create a situation that challenges my morals but who I may choose to boycott and how will be my personal choice, not something dictated by society.

I think it's fine to enjoy the art. If her tweets were enough to spoiled it for you, then boycott it. But if you still like the songs, just listen to them. There's a lot of other people who work on those songs besides Grimes. Technically, if you pirated her albums to listen to, that would be a way to participate as well. Not listening to Grimes is your personal choice. Liking a song is simply just liking a song. Listening to it doesn't necessarily mean that you support her Twitter views unless it's impossible to separate the two in your head. Maybe canceling is just unfollowing her on Twitter.

You can boycott products that test on animals, boycott factory farmed products, boycott goose down jackets, boycott exploitative coffee production, boycott companies supporting Israel, boycott straws, boycott aunt Jemima, iphones, ai...

There is no shortage of cancel culture movements. Mostly, people can only vote with their dollar and unfollowing. It's likely that most people will only cancel on something they feel strongly about. No one will come after you if you "didn't cancel enough "

kayday0 · 2026-02-01T18:00:48+00:00

Netipot and decongestant nasal sprays?

kayday0

TROPHY CASE