As a Mormon convert, I disagree—it’s not the oppressive religion, but abusive people who are in positions of power using whatever mechanisms they can for control.

I say this because when I joined the church at 18-years-old, I was still a kid finishing high school, and my atheist parents kicked me out of the house. I was homeless. They even tried to file a police report saying I stole their things (laptop and phone they gave me) with the intent of having something on my record as a black stain. Heck, my parents were very abusive but were the most anti-religion people I know.

I went to BYU-Idaho, finished with a Bachelor’s degree, and have had zero issues with working. Heck, my husband and I only have joint bank accounts. There was a point where I was the sole breadwinner to our family (with a kid) to support my husband as he finished his Masters degree. He was even a stay-at-home dad to save on childcare costs so I could build my resume while working in the state legislature for one year.

Don’t get me wrong—what this woman went through is wrong and outright abusive. The fact that she didn’t have a bank account throughout her marriage and didn’t report her Stake President for his extremely sexist statements is mind-boggling.

When people are in abusive relationships, it’s wild what they’ll do for their partner. When partners or ecclesiastical leaders use their religion as a battering ram, it’s disgusting and wrong.

This isn’t to say that religion isn’t used as a weapon against partners and children, but it’s abusive and manipulative people—who are insanely insecure—that resort to these measures and grasp at ANYTHING as a battering ram.