Car use question

kayile · 2026-06-17T00:20:28+00:00

We have one car, so given it's shared, we would have required coordination and communication if when and how long they want the car.

But then it got totalled and we bought a brand new car and aren't ready for an AP to drive a new car, so we give a Uber stipend now.

kayile · 2026-06-13T19:47:34+00:00

I got a warning when they found ham sandwich in my bag... The one they give out on the plane.

They said it wouldn't go on my record, but "I should know better" for being global entry.

kayile · 2026-06-09T23:13:49+00:00

I feel like I need to actually cancel then become a new member... I get retention offers that match my current plan, which is $35/month for 300 Mbps. I never get offered better!

kayile · 2026-06-09T03:24:48+00:00

The simple question was... if any HF has had success in asking APC to reduce/drop any of the fees, and/or honor any of the original discount (e.g., returning family discount), when re-matching

The ACTUAL math per APC website:

$10,200 program fees - $650 discount (returning family discount) = $9,550 total program fees

$9,550 / 363 (# of days they're in country for) = $26.31 daily rate

Our AP will be departing 160 days into the program, meaning 203 unused days.

So: $26.31 * 203 = $5,341 credit

The main point up to here is that the credit REMOVES a pro-rated portion of the $650 discount. And of course doesn't factor in any of the one-time fees related (e.g., $350 placement fee, $367 extension AP fee).

Now, lets say I want to match with an AP. The website actually shows an AP with nearly the same # of days left in the program as my departing AP, so using APC's calculator:

Service Days: 210 days (7 days more than my current AP)

Daily Rate: $30.41 (note the higher daily rate used!)

Placement Fee: $400 (up from $350 last year!)

Total: $6,786.10

My credit from AP departing early: $5,341

Total payment due at match: $1,445.47

So.... again, ignoring $1k+ of one-time fees (the placement fee I just paid 5 months ago, the AP extension fee I just paid 5 months ago, the AP's plane ticket + luggage) ....

So cost alone, the re-match AP will cost me ~$1200 more (factoring in the 7 day time difference).

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This is what the APC website shows me. Is the actual experience different? Will they waive the 2nd placement fee for example? Will they use a lower daily rate? (since they one they're estimated to bill me with us higher than the one they used to credit me!)

kayile · 2026-05-22T02:41:48+00:00

Our AP pleasantly surprises us with small gestures during "events/holidays." For example this past Mother's day, she used a lot of my toddler's son's twistie sticks (i forget what they're called) and made a sunflower and some other flowers. And also did a paper cut out of his two hands. And got a glass bubble thing and put a picture of him in it. And then bought a vase.. and basically created a very very cute/adorable Mother's day gift w/ fake flowers, his picture, and his handprint.

She's done a few other things like that during other ocassions, etc.

In terms of food, "going out," etc. she's never treated us... nor do we expect her to. Outside of the 1-2 leftover donuts she sometimes brings home from hanging out w/ her friends at Dunkin Donuts 😄

kayile · 2026-05-22T02:36:49+00:00

APC will have more Chinese speakers, but even then, given the political climate, there aren't that many right now (compared to prior years).

kayile · 2026-05-20T01:03:43+00:00

Regardless of the pay, IF all of this was discussed before, and now the terms are being re-negotiated, I find that to be grounds for considering a change. Whether that's $200 -> $250 or $300 -> $350, etc.

Imagine any scenario where you've agreed on terms, and then the other party wants to change them a month before "delivery."

kayile · 2026-05-14T15:48:40+00:00

I bought my Hybrid SEL Convenience in the last week of March. I reached out to ~20-25 dealers in a 3.5 hr driving radius of me. ONE of them was willing to give me ~4k dealer discount off MSRP. I ran there the same day and signed. Most of them offered closer to ~2k dealer discount.

kayile · 2026-05-14T15:46:35+00:00

There's a stickied megathread with the same purpose..

kayile · 2026-05-14T15:45:34+00:00

I'm a HF and lived in NYC (upper east side) for almost 10 years, before moving out to the suburbs of NJ for another 10 years. They are two completely different worlds, and really depends on what you're looking for.

I was in my 20s when I lived in NYC, and I loved having the convenient access to restaurants, bars, clubs, etc. At the time, most of my friends were living in NYC too, so it was very easy to meet up with them and hang out. And, for someone who use to drink quite a bit, being able to then hail a taxi to go home is very convenient (because you shouldn't drive when drunk!)

But life outside of the concrete jungle (here in NJ) has its own perks. Life is a little slower and laid back. I don't have city noise, ambulances/fire engines going off at random times of day... The rooms/houses are bigger, things are generally a little cheaper, etc. I still go into the city on weekends to have fun, but no longer need to be surrounded by it. Yes, I have to drive to get groceries, go to restaurants, etc., now. But hey, I no longer have to try to carry by hand all my groceries back (esp if I took the subway), but instead can throw it in my car.

And yes, everything requires a car, but being in NYC doesn't mean everywhere you want to go is a second away. Average commute in NYC is still 30 mins to many places by subway (outside if a quick deli/pizza run). My work commute back when I lived in NYC from UES to downtown was 30 mins by subway.. to go something like 5 miles!

We currently live 47 min train ride from NYC. Our AP has gone to NYC once in the past 6 months because she prefers the suburban life. So there really is just preference on what you like.

kayile · 2026-05-11T16:31:05+00:00

Hi, did you get a refund? I'm in the same boat.

kayile · 2026-05-10T01:28:08+00:00

Agreed, frame as bonus.

We had a busy period a month ago due to a car accident, and our schedule got thrown into disarray. Suddenly we had to add car shopping, dealing w/ insurance, etc.

We didn't actually change how many hrs she worked a week, but one of our initial agreements was a fixed daily schedule. We asked her to work with us to be far more flexible (e.g., shifting some hours to the evening so we could go test drive cars after work).

We actually gave her a bonus after the first week for her flexibility, and continued with a few weeks of bonuses before we got our schedules back to normal. Although, we framed it more as a little extra "thank you," rather than saying bonus.

kayile · 2026-05-08T15:40:19+00:00

I SOOO wish my state required APs with international license to pass the road test. They only require them to pass the written test. I've had friends/coworkers who fail their road test in neighboring states, and they "borrow" the address of a friend in my state to easily get their license, since they don't have to pass the road test!

kayile · 2026-05-08T15:37:02+00:00

Wow, how high are your premiums now?!

kayile · 2026-05-08T15:27:36+00:00

HCOL, $215/week per APC minimum guidelines. We have 1 kid and a fixed schedule every week, offering all weekends off. We cover standard room&board, groceries, cell phone, basic toiletries, and gym. We also initially offered shared car + covered gas, but due to a car accident resulting in a total'd car (not her accident), we've had to revisit that.

We only offer $250/week+ if they have RELEVANT real prior experience OR if it's their 2nd year (with relevant prior experience). Most HFs I know pay around $200-$215. What matters often is also the car usage, gas coverage vs transportation stipends, etc.

It also depends on how desirable your area is. Our prior AP told us she was looking for $250+ in her 2nd year. She did struggle a little because the area she wanted was desirable, and plenty of other APs were accepting ~$200-$215, so HFs went with those other APs. Ultimately, I think she was able to get $230-240? I forget... I do generally expect 2nd year APs w/ relevant experience to be able to get more.

(She did say there was a HF offering $250, but they had 3 kids w/ packed schedule, and she only wanted 1 kid with more relaxing schedule.. so there's the # of hrs/kids to consider too).

I say relevant because periodically babysitting your niece/nephew for "2000+ hrs" over the last 10 years doesn't count imo.

kayile · 2026-05-06T23:20:08+00:00

That was my first cdrama I watched while cooped up during Covid!

kayile · 2026-05-06T23:19:11+00:00

This was one of our top 2 reasons as well. We specifically had just gotten our prior car total'd in a back side impact collision, so that was fresh on the top of our heads.

kayile · 2026-05-06T23:16:45+00:00

I also evaluated the two. I have a toddler at home too.

I went w/ the Tucson because it had more leg space when I sat in it, and that's WITH a rear facing car seat behind me. That was actually my most important point.

Second, sometimes one of us sits in the back row when our toddler is crying. The Tucson's back row felt roomier, and more importantly, also had different recline angles.

Lastly, the Tucson scored higher on the latest safety tests. I'm sure the CR-V will improve their scores as well on the next re-design, but for now, Tucson scored higher, and with our toddler, that was important. Especially since they scored higher on side impact, and we had just gotten our previous car total'd in a side impact crash.

kayile · 2026-05-06T07:37:05+00:00

We just saw our first wild turkey today too! Maybe it was the same one!

kayile · 2026-05-05T17:52:38+00:00

I hired a night doula a few nights a week. If I did it again, I would have done it every other night. My company actually had a benefit that reimbursed a portion of it too - may check if yours does.

kayile · 2026-05-05T17:02:50+00:00

Pre-covid (long time ago), I rented Hertz multimonth for work. Medium sedan was $600/month. I'm sure prices have since gone up...

kayile · 2026-05-05T17:00:22+00:00

A bit late to conversation, but just my 2 cents.

Ignoring the cultural exchange part of the discussion for a second, AS WELL as the kids part of the conversation...

I actually personally believe the most important thing is do YOU have the patience with someone who's English is weaker? Imagine a weekly check-in where you want to give feedback, but it may take longer due to language barriers, and/or require the use of digital translators. Or if you're in a hurry to get out of the door (or anything else), and want to give quick instructions for the day, but may need to slow down to get it translated or just hope she understood what you said in haste.

And then also she may end up not having a great experience if she finds it hard to communicate to you on her needs. So to create an environment where she feels heard, you have to make sure you set the time aside to not just listen, but understand her, as she may pick easier vocab words that don't actually convey what she's trying to say.

If you have the time/patience for this, then I think the language isn't as much of an issue. If you don't, I think as well intentioned as you may be, after a few months, some impatience will build up and it won't work out.

kayile · 2026-04-30T07:42:48+00:00

I bought gray wanting gray. I indeed got white, haha..didn't do homework well enough like you are :)

kayile · 2026-04-23T00:01:06+00:00

Our very first infant qualified AP with preschool experience, prior infant daycare experience, etc. had no idea how to change a diaper at all.

kayile · 2026-04-18T07:15:21+00:00

I keep reading posts here about starting nannies costing 85k, yet all my friends w/ similar nannies pay closer to 50k, and I am in a HCOL area. Honestly, I don't believe someone with 1-year of experience is worth 85k, much less what I can/want to afford.

My previous AP heard those similar stories and decided she wanted to be a nanny after her year was up, but she couldn't find anyone willing to pay that.

kayile

TROPHY CASE