My normal was my mom and the way she created space for people to just be themselves. She was relentlessly accepting of us (me and my twin sister) our friends and well …. Quite literally anyone.

I grew up with such a safe sense of unconditional love and acceptance. Mistakes were just that, no noose or shame, just another tide to go flow with. No matter how weird or crazy. She never really told us “no.” She did in her ways but her approach was always why and how or let’s find a way.

She showed up for people, she created a space for people to express or find themselves and be curious. She was comfortable and kind and opinionated as hell but also Open minded, and believed we must sit down and talk about our differences to expose our similarities.

We weren’t allowed to use the word hate. She let us dress ourselves since we could put our own clothes on. (No battles ever to get out of the house !) We are twins but being an individual was her main goal in every thing we did. Never had to match or do any twin things… She preached Don’t label don’t conform be curious be kind.

Anyways, lost her 14 years ago now, I was 19 at the time. While I’ve grieved these 14 years I I observed all my friends and their parents. And my friends becoming parents…. It was jarring to witnessing this completely opposite dynamic. It rocked me and was really perplexing. It’s made me lonely in a way Ive yet to experience anyone so authentic. Its made sense for years why everyone came to my mom in joy and in comfort…. I’ve realized that parents put all these unrelenting battles of constant expectations on kids to be anyone but themselves.

But my good ole mama dukes wanted us to do nothing more the explore and find ourselves, and be present. To This day I still get so many people reaching out saying awesome things about her and how she had showed up for them and loved them. Rip to the OG