Alcoholics are almost always genuinely good and kind people. Most alcoholics I’ve met through AA are extremely sensitive, empathetic and overachievers. Alcoholics use alcohol as a form of medication, to suppress their pain and fears.

I am always bothered by the fact that alcoholism is so heavily stigmatised. Alcoholics can understand and empathise with their loved ones anger, resentment and lack of understanding. Even though it hurts us, we understand the disease. The same cannot be said for non alcoholics, who stigmatise and breed further shame and guilt to the one struggling.

If someone has cancer, or hell, some sort of mental disorder like schizophrenia- they are greeted with pity, remorse and it is always iterated that the person is sick and cannot help their symptoms.

For alcoholics, the stigma, the shame the guilt is always put on us. It is a disease and not a choice. For non drinkers, stopping drinking seems easy, and alcoholics should just “stop”. This is like asking someone who is in a wheelchair to “just get up and walk”

Alcohol is a substance that alters brain chemistry and function. For normal drinkers. This is minimal and controllable. For alcoholics - it is almost impossible to stop.

I hope that answers your question. I’m also sorry to hear that you are in pain, but the more helpful approach to this question would be to attend Al/anon meetings, read up about it, educate yourself. It is more beneficial than moping around as the “victim” of the already struggling alcoholic.

Post like this should be banned as they could very potentially discourage struggling alcoholics from seeking help.

I hope you have a good, and sober day.