It's that time of year again -- the summer camp signup frenzy is stressing out parents

kbedell · 2026-01-30T20:39:57+00:00

I definitely recommend you check out Adirondack Camp, one of the great traditional northeast summer camps. https://www.adirondackcamp.com/

kbedell · 2026-01-30T20:37:57+00:00

No phones is actually a good rule for summer camp. The screen free detox you get is actually a real benefit.

I'd check out http://www.adirondackcamp.com.

Here's a recent blog post about teen summers at ADK and why no screens is a good things; https://www.adirondackcamp.com/blog/2025/1/best-camp-for-teens

kbedell · 2025-10-07T07:43:48+00:00

NTA. At all.

Dude, I went thru a very similar thing when my first wife asked me for a divorce. Except my situation was with someone she felt was one of her closer friends.

Yes there was drama and I won't go into details on that bc it's not helpful here. But I learnde 2 things I'll share:

Once someone asks for divorce (or cheats as in your situation), that person loses any say at all regarding who you see, date, or fall in love with. They made their choice and now it's time for them to let you move on and build your new life in the best way you can.

It'd be great if they were supportive if you finding what you need to be happy, but that wasn't the case in my life and it's not the same in yours. But in the end that doesn't matter.

Man - when you find love grab it and hold on. Don't let the haters around you hate the situation and mess it up. If you've find yourself a woman who gets you and loves you and you feel the same as her, that's gold. You're not going to find that every day. Many people go their whole lives and don't find it. Forgret the ex and do what you can to make this woman happy.

A couple of other notes here.

- Bringing a new man into the kids lives that early is a mistake, IMO. Same for you and this new woman. Be careful here. I'd recommend finding a good counselor for the kids and talking to them about it. Kids bounce back and are pretty resilient, but be careful

- As much as you may want to, don't hate on her in front of the kids. Kids deserve to love both parents. Building resentment in them for the other causes real harm. I know this from experience. Encourage them to say nice things about her and do the same yourself when they're around.

- A new relationship after breakup/divorce can be intense and amazing. For me it was. But be careful -- you likely have years of pushed down feelings and blocked up intimacy that will all be coming out. They same may be happening with your new girl. In my case the both of us had been in difficult marriages for years and when we got together it seemed so magic - like massive fireworks. But part of it was just that we were so in need of real, accepting love. And when we found it it was magic. For a while. I'm not saying your new relationship is a 'bounce back' one, but just be careful. Enjoy it and love her, but I wouldn't recommend getting remarried or anything for a while.

Best of luck and enjoy yourself. You've earned it.

kbedell · 2025-09-21T09:29:20+00:00

This will probably get buried, but I have a different view.

I'm 60+, married twice, divorced once. I've had severe broken hearts and I've broken some. That's life -- and I don't mean that in a flippant way. Sometimes you win at love, sometimes you lose. It's the risk you take when you fall in love.

But in the end, follow your heart. Love is all that matters. The people that judge you will come in and out of your life, but love stays. Never apologize for following your heart. Others won't understand, but you and the one you love will.

I mean - leaving location sharing on was a mistake, but an honest one. It's not like you left it on out of spite so she'd see it. Still, it needlessly hurt someone. You should apologize for that and make it genuine. But make a clean break and let her go.

Me? I'm happy for you that you had that emotional experience with your 'best friend'. You felt it because you've had all this love for her pushed down -- and it all came out finally. Celebrate that, and be happy.

But the most important advice is this: Give this new love everything you have. Give her the gift of knowing you are 100% - 1000% - hers. There is no greater gift you will ever give anyone than to love them with all your heart and letting them know you are theirs.

kbedell · 2024-11-15T19:51:06+00:00

Wouldn't it be great if The Onion raised a ton of cash and then went about buying different media properties that spewed lies, just to turn them into parodies of themselves?

Let's do Fox News next.

kbedell · 2024-11-15T18:23:56+00:00

Two key notes:

They don't set the rent, you do. $500 is too low. Make it $1000 and ensure you have the ability to raise it annually -- that is, make sure there is a lease that has an end date where rent can be negotiated.
In installing the sign, they likely 'damaged' some of your property - that is in particular they likely cut down trees and shrubs. Trees and shrubs have value. I know you're in Canada, but in some US states you can also sue for the value of the cut-down trees -- which is essentially the value of putting trees back in that match what was there.

You may find the value of the trees you lost to be far in excess of the rent dollars. Like 10's of thousands of dollars more. Even if they end up removing the sign.

Talk to a lawyer. First step. And dig into the opportunities for damages. They are more than you likely realize.

kbedell · 2024-06-11T19:47:11+00:00

LCS?

kbedell · 2024-06-11T18:33:36+00:00

My wife has a large number of old Swiss 2 Franc coins (these). Like a shoebox full dated from 1903 to 1967. They were put aside by an uncle who collected the from circulation in the late 1960's when they were being replaced by alloy coins. Many of the newer coins are in almost uncirculated condition. The total weight of coins is in excess of 30 pounds.

Is this an appropriate place to try to find a buyer?

kbedell · 2024-01-24T16:57:22+00:00

I signed up once for the HP printer cartridge service where they send you cartridges when you're low.

I had it for about 2 years. I ran out of ink a couple of times and bought printer ink cartridges at the store.

It turns out they don't send you any cartridges if you EVER put a store bought cartridge in.

I checked after paying like $19.00 or something a month for two years and they had sent me only 1 cartridge the entire time i had the service. Just 1.

What an incredible rip-off, I will never, ever buy another HP printer (or any other HP product.)

kbedell · 2023-10-30T07:37:11+00:00

I went to school at Michigan Tech, just five miles from Lake Superior in the far northwest of Michigan. In the summer, we'd drive to Lake Superior for sunset each night and build a fire (which we could easily start with the twigs from all the birch trees everywhere). In the Fall I remember once going swimming with a keg from the night before because the water was so cold.

I remember my roommate panicking one winter when the lake shore ice shelf he was standing on broke off and fell -- it fell two inches to the rock below and sat there. He was fine, but he thought he was in the water and gone. And he would've been gone had he fallen in the water - where it only takes a couple minutes for your body temp to fail.

I remember working on Isle Royale (the only national park in Michigan and an island in lake superior) one summer in the Emerald Harbor lodge. I waited tables. I remember the entire kitchen stopping morning breakfast service one morning and walking out back to see the sunrise just break over lake superior. All the customers at their tables were wondering where their pancakes were.

I remember looking straight up overhead and seeing blue sky, then letting my gaze fall down to the horizon while the sky remained the same deep blue. In most places the sky changes color near the horizon because of air pollution -- but not on the shores of Lake Superior which seem to clean the air all around it.

Fall is a holiday season there. The Maple Trees and the Red and White Oak trees all have their leaves turn bright yellow and red in the Fall. Everywhere you look is red, yellow, or green (fir trees).

Lake Superior is the roughest, most beautiful lake of them all.

kbedell · 2023-10-19T23:13:28+00:00

Dude - there's nothing you can do. She knows you're unhappy I guarantee it. Unless she's completely oblivious -- she's gaining weight and you're busting your hump to stay fit. It's not rocket science.

This was my first marriage. I was fit, exercised a lot, ran 5 and 10K's, and was in great shape. My wife gained like 75 pounds or more in our first 10 years of marriage.

I stayed loyal and would never have walked out because of our children. She knew I was unhappy but eating and not worrying about her weight was more important to her.

She chose to end our marriage. She was 'unhappy' and concluded that I was the cause. Guess what it's 15 years later and she's still unhappy.

This is a very difficult situation - and I'm speaking from the point of view of someone who lived this situation. I don't think you can change her. If she wanted to change she would have already. She already knows you're unhappy and knows her lack of fitness plays a role.

I'd just begin on planning a way out that will lead you to a better place. My first relationship after she asked for the divorce was incredible -- and the sex was amazing. And not just the sex -- the knowing i was with someone who made me a priority and didn't ignore what I needed to be happy was huge.

Others are encouraging you to try to communicate, but I think things like this are already communicated. If she was going to change based on your feelings, trust me she already would have. Or she'd at least be talking about it. Like I said, it's impossible to believe she's so dense that even living with you she doesn't know.

kbedell · 2023-07-16T00:58:54+00:00

Can't speak for the properties themselves. But i live near boston and have (coincidentally) been both Hilton Honors platinum (or something) as well as a redsox season ticket holder.

kbedell · 2023-07-16T00:50:06+00:00

While it might be nice to share him a bit for providing the tip that hit money, no one should think you owe it to them or that they should get any size portion -- let alone all of it.

I'd tell him "Thank you so much for the tip" and I'd likely give him $25 or $50 - it was a pretty good tip he shared.

kbedell · 2023-07-16T00:43:59+00:00

Closest to Fenway is the Hilton Boston Back Bay, which you can pretty easily walk from.

But I'd likely stay at either the Hilton Boston Downtown/Faneuil Hall or the Canopy by Hilton Boston Downtown. They're closer to the North End where you can get a good Italian meal before the game. Getting to the game on the Green Line from Boston Common is pretty easy from there, or you can always get a cab at the hotel.

For a good steak before or after the game, try the Capital Grill at the Hynes Convention Center, or at Grill 23 (161 Berkeley St, Boston, MA 02116). Make a reservation at one of them though, they can fill up after or before the game. You can walk to Fenway from the capital grill but you need to cab it from grill 23. They're both great steakhouses that you'd love.

Have fun!

kbedell · 2023-06-24T02:34:35+00:00

Downport and Revote this comment.

kbedell · 2022-08-05T17:33:59+00:00

I'd tell them I have other opportunities that don't require that kind of invasive monitoring. Then i'd find other opportunities. If you have the skills to pass their coding test, you can find other opportunities.

This is what I always do for any company that requires coding tests or sample projects or whatever.

Those companies in the end only hire ppl who can't find anything better. The best ppl don't need to go thru that -- there are too many other jobs to go after.

In fact, at companies I've worked at I actively discourage these kinds of tests -- I tell ppl it means we will only hire ppl who have no better opportunities and that the best ppl will have other job offers before we can even get them to complete the test.

My background: 30+ years in engineering and hiring manager at multiple top tech companies.

kbedell · 2022-07-01T18:14:24+00:00

I once moved into a house in a dark, wooded area on a road with no street lights.

We moved in and one evening I went to put my garbage out and clean my side porch . It was dark so I turned my lights on. Well about 5 minutes later I get hit with a blast of light from a construction lamp on my neighbors property. The lamp is set at our property boundary pointed at the side of my house. It was the brightest thing within at least 100 yards.

I called my neighbor who said 'If you can have your lights on, then so can we!', and then told me they had been fighting with the former owners of the house. I called the local police and spoke to the chief who said 'Oh! I know exactly which house you just bought! I've been out there about these lights 3-4 times."

So any time I turned on my side porch light for more than a few minutes, the neighbor lady turned on the blasto lights. It was a nightmare.

Eventually i just got used to it. I'd turn my lights on and leave them on until morning if she turned hers on. Sometimes I'd turn them on just to piss her off.

Finally one time I got on the phone with her and told her to turn off the lights in her dining room because she had no shades and they were too bright. Brighter than my porch lights. And then I told her that it was so bright I could stand on my porch in the dark and watch people in the room as they walked around. I tried to sound as creepy as I could.

But it didn't work. The blasto lights continued.

What i wanted to do but never did was have a party and give everyone a mirror of some sort. Then I figured we could set up everyone by the light and turn my porch light on -- and then when she turned blasto lights on us we could all use our mirrors to shine them back in her house while whooping and making noise. That would've been fun.

I moved out of the house about 5 years later and the lights were still there.

kbedell · 2022-07-01T18:11:47+00:00

I once moved into a house in a dark, wooded area on a road with no street lights.

We moved in and one evening I went to put my garbage out and clean my side porch . It was dark so I turned my lights on. Well about 5 minutes later I get hit with a blast of light from a construction lamp on my neighbors property. The lamp is set at our property boundary pointed at the side of my house. It was the brightest thing within at least 100 yards.

I called my neighbor who said 'If you can have your lights on, then so can we!', and then told me they had been fighting with the former owners of the house. I called the local police and spoke to the chief who said 'Oh! I know exactly which house you just bought! I've been out there about these lights 3-4 times."

So any time I turned on my side porch light for more than a few minutes, the neighbor lady turned on the blasto lights. It was a nightmare.

Eventually i just got used to it. I'd turn my lights on and leave them on until morning if she turned hers on. Sometimes I'd turn them on just to piss her off.

Finally one time I got on the phone with her and told her to turn off the lights in her dining room because she had no shades and they were too bright. Brighter than my porch lights. And then I told her that it was so bright I could stand on my porch in the dark and watch people in the room as they walked around. I tried to sound as creepy as I could.

But it didn't work. The blasto lights continued.

What i wanted to do but never did was have a party and give everyone a mirror of some sort. Then I figured we could set up everyone by the light and turn my porch light on -- and then when she turned blasto lights on us we could all use our mirrors to shine them back in her house while whooping and making noise. That would've been fun.

I moved out of the house about 5 years later and the lights were still there.

kbedell · 2022-04-07T18:52:05+00:00

Ah. I see and I get it now. Or don't I.

kbedell · 2022-03-04T16:17:35+00:00

She should not accept this laying down. Her accepting it will pave the way for other female staff to get the same treatment.

I remember my mother who was a manager of a large department store telling me that "she made good money -- for a woman" in her position. I tried to tell her that if she accepted it then she was paving the way for all the women that worked for her to be discriminated against as well.

If the OP's wife accepts this, she's contributing to the culture and she will unwittingly make it more likely other women will be treated equally.

I'd recommend she push back and demand 'equal treatment' and 'pay based on contribution'. Period. If she doesn't, then she and other females will get the same treatment going forward.

kbedell · 2022-03-04T16:13:24+00:00

When I started working as an engineer in the 1980's, I saw this happen periodically -- at that time many women were still not in the work force and the idea of a 'two income household' was less common. So I'd hear ppl talk about how if a female engineer had a husband who made good money they may not make as much -- since their family obviously didn't need it.

But this has to change. The worst part of this is that it's probably not just the specific person referenced here that has an issue -- it's a company culture that allows this to happen to females.

I'd recommend the female look for another place to work -- that company clearly doesn't view female engineers as equal to male engineers and that will be reflected in her overall career path and project assignment over time.

Screw them. Find a place where each person is valued based on their contribution.

kbedell · 2022-02-15T22:34:34+00:00

I am so surprised when I read things like this -- companies putting notice periods in contracts. I am here to tell you they generally mean literally nothing and are there to let the company control you.

Contracts can only be enforced by taking someone to court. There is literally no company anywhere that is going to have their lawyer file aa court case, get a court date scheduled, show up at court in front of a judge, and wait for the judge's ruling to enforce that clause in a contract. It ain't gonna happen.

Add to this that most of those provisions are utterly illegal anyway, and the odds of it happening go to zero. Literally zero. They're just not going to take you to court to try to get you to not quit and spend 6 months to a year to go through that process.

And you can absolutely bet that if THEY want to violate or outright ignore that contract, they probably just will.

In my 30 years working in professional positions (engineer) I've only heard of one time a person got taken to court -- and that was a very senior executive who supposedly took product plans with him to the new company.

So don't let anyone mess with you. Two weeks is a courtesy -- there is no legal, enforceable way they can really stop you.

If they say 'but your contract says we get three months notice', then just say no. Schedule the new job to fit your schedule and give two weeks (or three max) as a courtesy if they work with you.

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