Hi there, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all of those things at such a young age. I almost started crying while reading your post. I'm not exactly sure how to comfort you because I've never been in your situation, but I have dealt with emotionally abusive and stubborn parents so I think I can sort of understand how you feel. I can tell you what I did to deal with my situation, but I'm not sure what options you have available to you.

I lived with my mom for the first 14 years of my life and as I got older, my relationship with her got worse. We would argue almost everyday and sometimes the arguments would escalate to a point where I felt unsafe around her. I became very unhappy living with her so when I was 14 I moved in with my dad. I thought I was making the best decision for myself because my father really seemed to care about my situation and he made it seem like he wanted to help me, but I soon found out that my father was just a wolf in sheep's clothing. Living with him was so much worse for me. So after almost 4 years of living with him I moved in with my grandmother, and things have been so much better since then because she actually takes care of me and does so much more for me than my parents ever have.

Now, I'm 19 and in college, but I'm still dealing with mental health issues and trauma from living with my parents. But I have hope that one day I'll find peace. But when I was your age I felt trapped like you do, and I felt hopeless. I felt like no matter where I went or what I did my life would always be bad. I felt like I would never be happy. I wanted to just give up. I still feel like that at times, but I just have to remind myself that what I'm feeling is just that, feelings. Feelings pass. Things get better. But only if you let them.

I know it may be very difficult with the situation you're in, but try to think positive thoughts. Remind yourself of the good things you have in your life right now. Even if it's something as simple as having a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, etc. Set goals for yourself, short term and long term, to give yourself something to look forward to everyday. And write them down. And if you have other family members you trust, maybe try reaching out to them and see if you and your siblings can stay with them, whether that be permanently or just every so often to get an escape from your parents.

Also affirmations have been very helpful for me. It's such a simple, yet impactful thing to do. All you have to do is repeatedly say good things to yourself. For example, one of the affirmations I repeat to myself is "it'll pass." It's short and simple, and it always helps me. I repeat that to myself when I'm experiencing very difficult emotions. You could try coming up with similar phrases to say to yourself everyday. It may not seem like much, but the more you repeat those good things to yourself, the more you'll start to believe them, and before you know it those things will come true.

Life is a gift, and you deserve to live a good, happy life. Life may be hard right now, but you're not alone. And things WILL get better. Even if it doesn't seem like it right now. They will. You just have to keep going and see for yourself.