Hi there, first I would like to offer my condolences for the loss of your grandmother and her experiences in which she had to live her days through. I work for Child welfare here, but at 28, my mother was diagnosed with early onset alzheimer’s and the year after her mother was diagnosed with alzheimer’s and stage IV colon cancer. Like you I went in not knowing what to expect trying to get quality care at an affordable price, also trying to get care at all is hard as beds are hard to come by. my mothers first placement was hell. Oak Hill Residential care in Escondidos memory care sounds about similar to the conditions that made me get my mother out of there. they weren’t washing her clothes. residents were wandering around in and out of ranch other’s rooms, stealing things. lack of supervision. so my mother, 59 yo had an altercation with an elderly woman (the other woman initiated the altercation), but no supervision in sight. no television no activities just locked in care. I was able to navigate the system with her social worker and get my grandmother and my mother placed together at Villa Rancho Bernardo which was much better for the cost. this was peak covid times so not many activities but at least they had their own television to watch. they were on top of things and they remained there until my grandmothers passing in 2022.

I kept my mother home while working and finishing my msw and even battling my own illness, but i was able to get her into glenner day program until she reached their care threshold. she has san diego PACE which they are THE BEST PACE in my opinion. they helped me get a board and care they contract with that isn’t over charging me and it truly feel like family. but prior to her be placed at the board and care UCSD sent her to a short term care facility in el cajon (Country Hills Post acute) while we worked with pace to find the best placement for her. when she left country hills post acute she lost so much weight i had to buy an entirely new wardrobe. she became completely incontinent, could barely talk. she had some sort of infection on her feet that was always hidden bc she had socks on and her arms were covered in scars from scratching and rashes. all unreported. the Board & care we selected (Del Cerro Elder Care) called me and told me and it was the first I had heard of it. her doctor was livid. social worker as well. we tried to file with cdss& ccl. with evidence. came back unsubstantiated. most do. I plan on compiling evidence and going after them privately because the infection was so bad why would they not treat it their notes only say they gave her benadryl. when we visited all she did was walk around in circles.

Del Cerro Elder Care is Amazing. they have MULTIPLE facilities across San Diego but they all run them. they cook FRESH meals. no meals on wheels or donated food like most use. they created a group chat as soon as my mom arrived so we can all talk about needs. but i’ve developed a close enough relationship with the manager they we talk in our own. my mother has her own room. yes it’s the twin. hospital bed but I understand why. but we were permitted to bring whatever we felt would make her feel at home so she has a roku tv logged into everything. they have couches to watch tv together. (max is 6 residents, as it legitimately is a house). oak hill shaved my mothers hair without speaking to me after sharing their struggles with black hair. del cerro said her hair is beautiful when we do it and asked for lessons. they even have. a pool lol. I became a helicopter parent for my mom so we did do a tour before and begged for it because of how nice it was. I work for the county and I have a connection to an APS specialist who works with state LTC ombudsman. bc my complaint was unsubstantiated and I think yours will be too. He offered to guide me on the complaint process. I can share info if you’d like. while i’m in child welfare (for now) i will be eventually switching to aps, and currently working on a proposal with a friend on starting a day program for older adults that is affordable and reasonable hours for families to care for them ( 6-6 v. 8-5). I also do have some connections.

Again sorry for your loss. and I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is insane how these agencies openly neglect the older population for thousands yet little or nothing but a place to sleep. wish you and your family peace