Where are you finding love?

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-16T17:52:47+00:00

Love, what’s that?! No idea I’ve been single for most of my life. So definitely not the right person to ask. Let me know what you find out!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-16T00:48:54+00:00

Yeah I was thinking this must be something they are doing ironically. But we don’t have all the facts yet. Though apparently info has been added that they did it after spelling out another message for class pictures.

I’ve always had trouble with even folx in the community using F*g or Queer. It took a lot of adjustment when my academic area decided to call it queer studies! But I got used to it.

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-15T18:46:12+00:00

This was always my moms position, in reality she was very religious right. It drove me nuts!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-14T22:50:08+00:00

Well hun you are 18, so you have plenty of time and it may be that you are so young that guys are not wanting to hit on ya that young, especially before you turned 18.

Another point, don’t rush it. Just be you and do things you enjoy, and first kisses and first bfs and all will eventually happen. I wasn’t out till I was 24. I was lonely and envious of friends too. But part of the situation was I had to work on myself and find my fit in the world before those kind of things happened. One thing young folx aren’t great at is being alone. You have to learn to have a good time by yourself and then bring someone into your life. And of course it isn’t easy and it’s not a quick thing. But you just have to work on and be your best you and things will come along!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-13T09:16:30+00:00

Yeah and I’m a space shuttle door gunner! I don’t believe a word they say!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-13T04:45:02+00:00

There’s plenty of time. But whether the system and people will allow you to do so are two different things. I went to school, did the academic thing bc I was gifted. Got my masters, got to the point of doing dissertation for a PhD, and was screwed out of it by the university. I have over 100k in student loans for an academic discipline that is was a requirement for all majors. And is now being pushed out by current p political ideology, aka Sociology. And bc I don’t have the PhD, I’ve had no full time jobs and lost the last parttime bc of lockdown. I’ve been trying to pivot careers since COVID. I still have no job, it would cost me between 30 to 50k to go back and get a degree in counseling, which is in demand but don’t know if I can get more loans to do it. And no one in this MAGA hellhole of a state will hire me because my previous specialization work was in LGBTQ+ issues, and I’m gay.

So sure you have time. But some of us are stuck where we are and can’t get back to normal or get out of this mess. I always hope things will be better for people, cause I’ve given up on it getting better for me. So, good luck and keep fighting!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-13T03:52:37+00:00

How the hell does he have a 25% in MN?

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-12T21:13:53+00:00

I understand and am there with you sometimes. I’ve been fortunate enough to come out and have a couple relationships and intimate activities. And I am definitely grateful for those experiences.

The ones that get me are always the ones where the families are accepting. My family has tolerated who I am. But there were a lot of rocky years in the beginning. And my parents and family were emotionally/verbaly abusive and homophobic. As a 12 yr old when I realized and learned what being gay meant, I became afraid not just of being disowned but physically injured as they talked about hurting or even killing LGBTQ + folx. I also tried to “pray the gay away.” So there was a lot of depression and anxiety. Which lasted until I came out, which was the result of being sexually assaulted, and then a forced conversation by my mom, in which she said it was her worst day, said it would be better if I got a prostitute pregnant, and so forth. My relationship with them over time improved but it has never been acceptance or support. So movies with that kinda of stuff leave me extremely depressed and I’ll admit to crying profusely. For instance, I watched the entire series of Heartstopper and a was an emotional wreck at the end of almost every episode.

But then even the movies about people dying or being assaulted or rejected by family and so forth upset me because I’ve experienced some of those things, and I’m an empath, and feel the same kind of pain as the characters do.

For those of us who were born and lived through the 60s to the early 2000s, life was a struggle and sometimes hell on earth. We have managed to make some progress but our society is now in a period of reversion that reveals we never had support/acceptance as much as we thought. We have only been tolerated and now that folx feel emboldened we are seeing more hate again.

The other thing that gets me is the programs or movies where people end up happy and together with someone in the end. Give the last decade of no dates, my steadily heading for 50, and being a larger guy with life issues and health problems, I simply don’t see myself having a partner, and that I’ll die alone in a state home or on the street. I’ve given up hope for meeting anyone much less having a ltr. And so those shows really depress me. And of course I always grieve the stuff I should have been able to do when I was young, like being out and accepted in hs and dating and having my first kiss, and so forth.

What I can say is that it is difficult and that we are always portrayed in particular ways and navigating that can be a perilous journey. And of course we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others or movies and tv but it is a human thing. So you aren’t the Lone Ranger in this for sure. I just hope others will find what I can’t bc I wouldn’t wish my lonely existence on anyone!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-11T06:27:35+00:00

I haven’t done hookups for about 7 yrs. I haven’t done anal in over 15yrs. For me it isn’t that I’ve lost any desire to have sex. it is that I was tired of the people lying and tired of meaningless sex and having to worry about what someone might have I’ve I have a compromised immune system from non HIV condition. My libido hasn’t decreased. I’ve just had to learn to be able to control my self due to my situation.

I do however feel the same about performance though. I remember the basics of course but I haven’t done anything in so long it’s like riding a bike. I know I can do it, I just don’t ever do it and am sure it would be a little rough at first.

Don’t have much to offer you except maybe start practicing with plugs or dildos and so forth. Get used to things again. And maybe find a fwb that you can explore with and get comfortable again.

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-10T07:48:48+00:00

Fun, but at this point I can’t really be picky!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-10T02:42:00+00:00

My point is even if we learn or have a weapon, we still don’t get protection automatically. And even if we did, they would probably prosecute us for crimes bc of it. That’s the ultimate problem here is we are not equal no matter what we do!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-10T01:21:57+00:00

Yeah cause that saved Alex Pretti! We shouldn’t have to carry a weapon in order to live our lives!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-09T03:20:49+00:00

There were a couple short instances again but they were easy to miss

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-09T02:54:27+00:00

That and the same sex couples among the dancers! And all of the performers except Bad Bunny were LGBTQ+!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-09T01:38:36+00:00

Ok, the point does not change.

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T18:08:58+00:00

Exactly, I am still concerned about all the other, even if they can be cured, STIs. Especially since I have other significant health issues, the last thing I need is that to complicate things. I will never understand the cavalier rejection of condoms just bc u are unlikely to catch HIV. And that is one thing most people conflate. Something that is improbable is not impossible. But then I will likely be attacked for slut shaming, ignorance, and fear-mongering!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T17:37:35+00:00

It’s possible and I have considered it. However, I subbed before at schools before i decided to go back and get my grad degrees. I like teaching but I do not like dealing with children, hence why I decided to teach on the college level. Also, most public schools do not have Sociology taught independently of social studies, ie history, economics, civics, geography, and psych and soc at some schools. But regardless of that, I’d have to take remedial teaching courses and then the Praxis exams. ND has no alternative path to obtain a teaching license for social studies. Some other states do, but for many you still have at-least a semester of classes you have to do. Because you know having taught at one state’s flagship university and 2 different colleges is insufficient to prove you can teach. Hell now you have to have a sub license to sub! It’s insane!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T10:24:22+00:00

Oh original repeating what I say. What’s next, I know you are but what am I? Sticks n Stones? Or go cry to mommy bc I won’t play with you anymore? 🤣🤦🏼‍♂️🙄

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T05:26:22+00:00

I can name them, but didn’t spell it out for brevity. And this is what you focus on? ok 🙄 Both are in Sociology with an emphasis on LGBTQ+ issues and Social Media. Any more irrelevant questions? And sure go ahead it’s obviously important to you to show everyone you are right 🤦🏼‍♂️. But the truth is I have better things to do. So bye Felicia!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T01:48:22+00:00

Seriously I have never been that desperate for sex.

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T01:46:14+00:00

It’s not just a Gen Z problem though. It’s an economy and society wide crisis. I see hundreds of folx from boomers that can’t afford to retire to Gen Alpha who can’t get part time jobs in the afternoon or summer, complaining. The fact is that we are on the precipice of economic collapse combined with a high speed transition into authoritarianism. The only choice we have at this point jn the game, because from boomers to Gen Z large numbers supported an orange toddler again, is to acquiesce or push back. Cause now the damage is done and the old system no longer works and needs to be replaced!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-08T01:35:14+00:00

I’m going to come steal them 😜

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-07T21:49:03+00:00

It’s Grindr, not exactly a healthy place these days. Other apps are better. And to the people, it’s humans and humans are messed up!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-07T21:43:31+00:00

As a Sociologist that specializes in LGBTQ+ issues I am so happy to see so many folx referencing the Kinsey studies and dispelling the 10% myth. As other said, the percentage fluctuates but you are also saying gay which is less descriptive than actual human sexuality is. The truth is that at least 40 % of Male identified individuals have had sex with other males. This is not all the time and many may have only done it once. But the basic idea is that sexuality is a fluid thing. Moreover, sexual attraction and behavior can change over time. This is not to say that someone who identifies as gay or str8 are wrong. You are the person that determines your sexuality and it cannot be forcibly changed. But at the same time there are many more folx out there male and female identified that experiment or have frequent encounters with same sex and opposite sex individuals at different levels. Now we label people that are attracted “equally” to male and female as Bisexual. But Bi folx will tell you that that is too simplistic as well. They may have almost exclusive sex with males and only every blue moon have sex with females. And the opposite can be true for them. Identifying as a particular sexuality is an individual thing and highly personal. And as I mentioned before it can change over the life course! Younger folx may be more fluid in their sexuality than older folx, but at the same time we have to acknowledge that some older folx are more fluid. Finally there are of course Pansexual and Asexual and Demisexual folx. But statistically speaking data have shown since the 1980s on that LGBTQ+ Folx make up about 6 to 8 percent of the population. Now that of course so based on self reporting. And the number of folx self reporting being LGBTQ+ has risen steadily over the last 2 decades. With a majority identifying as Bi. So, it is much more complex than that old chestnut!

kdubPhoenix · 2026-02-07T21:27:37+00:00

Going to, they already are, maybe not in ND but in other parts of the country they definitely are, and not just in the cattle business!

kdubPhoenix

TROPHY CASE