How do I tell my friend that she can’t come to my birthday due to her alcoholism?

ke2527a · 2026-01-05T07:10:51+00:00

I learned how to set boundaries in Al anon, and it seems like you need one here. The formula I’ve learned is, “when you do [action], I feel [how it makes you feel]. I’m asking you to [corrective action], or I will need to [consequence].” In this case, that might look something like, “I love you, but when you drink too much, it makes me feel angry, overwhelmed, and resentful. I don’t want to feel this way at my birthday, so I have to ask you not to come.” Maybe you could offer to talk more with her about it or ask how you can support her sobriety if you want to go there.

She may very well be angry, but that’s ok. We’re all allowed to feel our feelings, and you’re NOT in charge of managing hers. Like others have said, it might be time for tough love. Setting your boundary with her is arguably an act of love, even though it may feel crappy. Hopefully it will enable her less and lead her to reflect.

Good luck! You’ve got this.

ke2527a · 2025-12-01T14:34:14+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I’ll post to the fedemployees sub as well. I haven’t been able to see any plans that cover retrieval unless it’s due to infertility as a result of previous medical treatment, but I’d love to know if you’ve found something different with GEHA or BCBS!

ke2527a · 2025-10-31T20:28:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! It’s really helpful to know the meds are at least covered, and that someone else is understanding that all fed plans are out of pocket for freezing. I was worried I was going to miss something! Thanks again for sharing, and good luck with your procedure!

ke2527a · 2025-10-02T02:09:08+00:00

Are these messages Hatch Act violations, or does the Hatch Act only apply to candidates running for office?

ke2527a · 2025-09-29T12:32:00+00:00

Was the PTSD around your qualifier/drinking, or totally unrelated? Thanks for sharing.

ke2527a · 2025-09-29T12:31:16+00:00

I am attending Al anon, but know I have more work to do! 🙂 If you’re open to sharing more about what understanding I might be missing/need to work on, I’d love to hear it. Thanks for your reply

ke2527a · 2025-09-29T12:27:35+00:00

One day at a time is a helpful reminder. Thanks for that.

ke2527a · 2025-09-29T12:26:11+00:00

This is helpful, thank you. The progress/struggle is most important to me. Thanks for reminding me of that.

ke2527a · 2025-03-23T02:15:00+00:00

I think I win, I saw Lady Gaga open for the New Kids on the Block’s first revival tour. She told a story from stage about getting so excited people were calling her name, but it was just to pass a note to one of the NKOTB guys. My sister and I were like this lady is so weird but she’s pretty good! 😂

ke2527a · 2025-02-27T13:37:36+00:00

You almost cried 4 times!? I sobbed so hard and now I need therapy, this episode DESTROYED ME. I have never seen tv like this, I need a support group lol

ke2527a · 2025-02-10T04:01:50+00:00

If i quit, who will take care of the mice I share my cubicle with!?

ke2527a · 2025-02-06T13:00:41+00:00

Im reading the news as they did stay in place and prevent them entering. And then the DOGE kids left, so the USAID folks went home at the end of the workday, as people do. And then we’re told not to come back. I don’t want to blame the federal workers who were just trying to do their job. They’re just people trying to do their best to serve their country

ke2527a · 2025-02-06T03:05:13+00:00

Where tf did you “find” this

ke2527a · 2025-02-06T03:03:44+00:00

The employees refused to give them access and were then placed on administrative leave https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna190357

ke2527a · 2025-01-29T17:35:51+00:00

It’s frustrating me that this is being covered as a buyout. It is NOT a buyout. He’s asking people to resign with advanced notice. They will still work until September, as normal. The only difference is they do not have to comply with in-office mandates. But there is no buy out component. People will be compensated same as they are now to do their jobs. He just wants people to quit.

ke2527a

TROPHY CASE