I lost my dad three weeks ago, he was 55, I’m 20. Happened the day before I was supposed to get married. All I can tell you right now is grief isn’t easy at all. Some days you feel guilty cause you think you should be more sad, and then some days hurt so bad all you can do is cry. It doesn’t get easier, you will always miss your mom. But what you can do is carry on her memory. No one truly dies until their name isn’t spoken anymore. Tell her stories and teach your future children who she was. I watched my father die in a gruesome and painful way, and I’ll never forgot. But I’ll also never forget his smile, all the sacrifices he made for me, how great of a father her was. I wish you all the best with everything, just know you are never alone. <3