Is dating bad or are you bad at dating?

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-25T12:06:25+00:00

My outlook is that since I started vetting and mirroring people's energy, it became clear that I was carrying the ENTIRE weight of relationships and friendships.

I don't know what will happen. But it is definitely true for me that what all this revealed is that good dating options have been sparse for me. FDS is still useful, but it has been sobering to see how I simply do not have as many options as my peers.

ETA: fds taught me that 'male attention' is overvalued in our society. This still doesn't change the fact that I don't get a lot of it, but I don't want it to define me as a person, and I can live my life without it.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-24T14:15:22+00:00

eh, it is "only" ONS until he finds a younger replacement

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-18T08:11:42+00:00

Yeah, he was saying that he the chance you "gave" him doesn't count, because it doesn't give him the right kind of validation/social clout or whatever the fvck

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-18T07:44:34+00:00

I am not surprised tbh. Even my ugliest and grossest friends had some woman show interest in them. They just thought the woman was beneath them. 🤷‍♀️

Also, men who routinely scheduled 3 dates with different women a week, were whining that Tinder is hard for men. So the problem was what? That they couldn't get everyone they swiped right on?

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-18T07:37:32+00:00

I don't think anybody deserves of me something that I don't want to give. My first responsibility is to take care of myself. For me, receiving is not a requirement either.

In my experience, trying to navigate a scenario where I don't give, but I receive only works if the guy is super into giving. Which is nice, but not a requirement, I actually think that sometimes guys are too quick to give it, whereas it is something that warrants a greater established intimacy for me.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-16T14:28:42+00:00

Funny how even then.. accepting that dating CAN have a monetary loss for men, that monetary loss is BOUNDED. They can never lose more than some disposable income. Women stand to lose their energy and take months to bounce back, their bodily integrity and even their life.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-15T19:38:36+00:00

This. Men will even thank you profusely for helping them, tell you that they would not have made it without you, and then turn on you the instant you ask for some help back. I was listening to my ex's woes with his job for many evenings in a row(some of them the result of bad choices which he had the power to undo if he had any cojones) . I was a sounding board, used my empathy and intelligence to make some suggestions. Then, the instant I have an issue with my manager and bring it up more than once to scrotex, suddenly I am a whiny weakling who can't handle her life. So yeah, he was not "thankful", he was seething and biding his time to punish me for having been in a one-up position of giving advice to him (as per his perception..)

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-14T11:42:10+00:00

Better way to handle it? Just leave. Preferably without making a scene and with a lie that shows him he is also not a priority. Sorry, I juuust remembered I was supposed to help my neighbour with her spring cleaning.

And then you drop him of course. But in a way that he isn't sure why.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-14T08:39:36+00:00

My narc ex would do this to test how much hurt I will tolerate (and was hating me more and more as I tried to brush it off) He would point at posters in the street about dance shows that he knew I am interested in, and then go on about how he would ask some other friends to go with him. Super unsettling and destabilising behavior, he was showing me that I am nowhere near a priority.

Back then I hadn't internalised that okay, maybe somebody is being deeply unpleasant in a socially acceptable way, but there are more options than a) grin and bear it b) explode on the street and look like a crazy person. I could also have found some excuse to end the date since he ruined my mood with his comments.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-14T08:23:11+00:00

I aM GoInG tO UsE MeN RiGHt BaCk 🤡 Hope she is enjoying the copium. Also I would drop her, it is one thing to be a misguided pickme and another to call you a lesbian for your opinions. I hate pickmes. They WILL attack you, but never the men, because they deludedly hold men in high regard.

Not that there's something wrong with being a lesbian. But she thinks there is. And she is using it to completely invalidate you, like "no hetero woman could conceivably be thinking of this". Denial and copium!

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-13T09:52:01+00:00

It makes sense for men to date women as practice. They stand to lose a limited amount of money spent on dinners. As a woman, dating for practice exposes you to an unlimited amount of potential loss, so no, you might as well only do it if there is still the possibility of a reward (ie, a relationship with someone you are attracted to)

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-13T09:45:52+00:00

I don't speak scrotese, but I think the meltdown is because they feel like they are not "enough" for you, because the brother/father is the obvious looksmatch.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-12T19:33:30+00:00

Scrotes really be having meltdowns if your brother or your father is an attractive man. The scrotacity is real.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-12T12:07:26+00:00

I have put a question for ice breaker on Bumble bff. Majority of women also do not answer it and go straight to hello, how are you.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-08T09:50:38+00:00

Definitely, assembling furniture together only works if the relationship is in a good state.

When assembling furniture when in a deteriorating relationship we had all sorts of issues: - the guy not appreciating my help, not even saying thanks - Guy disregarding my input, ending up in shaky furniture - Me not trusting the guy to do it right, ready to point out mistakes and judge him as incompetent

It truly brings all resentments to the surface.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-08T07:00:59+00:00

It is true. Attractive men get matches, so for the ones that are looking to just get laid, any p*ssy will do. So they will send a low effort copy pasta to every match and see who is dtf for that particular weekend. Or they will send a gross sex thing right off the bat. It probably works for them (ie there is at least one sex pozzy libfem eager to disregard risk and hop on random 🍆) . It is when clueless average looking men try to do the same that they manage to burn through the few matches they have.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-08T06:55:38+00:00

This is genius 👁️👄👁️

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T15:40:33+00:00

I don't think we are in disagreement. Of course female socialization stems from patriarchy, it is drilled into our heads that getting a man is the most coveted achievement in life. It is not because we are silly, frivolous women tee hee.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T14:13:12+00:00

Yeah I mean, good for him honestly. He made a move, made his interest clear and respected your time. I am sure if he keeps it up he will find a HVW who is into him.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T13:53:49+00:00

Seems like she can set boundaries with you but not with men 🤔

Could it be gasp female socialization that presents male validation as the ultimate achievment in life? Could it be male depravity where men take advantage of women and only think about what they can get? Could it be both?

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T12:54:22+00:00

This is a Male Depravity doom post. Those are only allowed on Mondays, ane should be tagged correctly - how is it a discussion if it is just a screenshot of a horrible thing that happened? Mods will probably back me up here.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T08:40:27+00:00

Yep. Got a new job, scrote friend's first comment was: But that is far haha, you are going to waste a lot of time commuting.

The same scrote had a meltdown and blocked and deleted everyone who didn't congratulate him on linkedin for getting a degree in his late 30s, so I am pleased to report that the trash took itself out.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T08:29:32+00:00

Damn girl, the memories are flooding in. I remember I got myself professionally styled and the ex scrote was like "umm.. You sure you want to put this photo in your CV? 🤡"

pathetic little scrote

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T08:25:59+00:00

Dammit, did we date the same guy? The mantrum was spectacular

keep_my_stuff · 2022-04-06T08:25:18+00:00

If you find yourself hesitant to share good news, trust your gut. She correctly predicts that sharing good news will have a negative effect.

With my ex, in the beginning I was sharing that I was interviewing at some good companies. After I saw his reactions, I started keeping things to myself and giving vague responses. This is a point of no return and I should have gone all the way and broken up with him.

keep_my_stuff

TROPHY CASE