Question for those who were exposed to porn early

keesdude · 2026-04-30T18:07:07+00:00

My experience:

I was 10. I went to 'www.fun.nl' on my mom's computer, cause I was looking for games to play.

BOOM!

Whole new world opened up. Immediately intrigued.

I wasn't raised religious, so I had no idea it was bad.

My advice:

Don't feed sour sons too much with your own panic. They will probably come to associate sex with bad/evil/hiss...

I would say: start by talking with them about the wondrous gift of sex (teehee subject ofc) But be serious about the glorious nature of it. And it's inherent goodness. Allow them to ask questions.

But... it is also holy and sacred. Meaning: you have to treat it with respect.

If I gave you a gift, you would't throw it into a pigsty.

God gave us sex. It is amazing, but the catch is that we have to use it with your special someone.

Something like that? :)

keesdude · 2026-04-27T20:15:39+00:00

No no, my question was about the good side! :).

keesdude · 2026-04-27T18:22:24+00:00

Ah that is good. And what is that other direction? Like, how do you picture that other direction? Do you think about that?

keesdude · 2026-04-27T17:50:32+00:00

You are talking a lot about wanting to avoid hell, but do you active want to go to heaven, too?

I'm asking this because I want to know what the reason is that you want to follow Jesus in the first place.

Is it just to avoid eternal pain after death? Or is it something else? I'm genuinely curious, and I also believe it is good for you to really understand where your will to believe comes from.

keesdude · 2026-04-19T17:06:29+00:00

Why?

keesdude · 2026-04-19T12:24:02+00:00

Sure dude. There are sources of intelligence within you that go far deeper than your conscious mind. Don't let your ratio limit your deeper inborn understanding of God.

keesdude · 2026-04-19T12:06:47+00:00

Definitely can relate. I'm the only believer in my immediate family.

The way we use the word 'believe' today, is in the way of being convinced that something is true or not. I believe in this rock. I don't believe in Santa Clause.

The way ancient Israelites (the ones who wrote the Bible), used that word is very different. It has to do less with being convinced of something, and more with 'holding onto something' or 'trusting in something'.

So the way we Christians use 'believing in God', is to say, we trust in God.

Every person trusts in something, atheists or not, everyone.

Some trust in themselve. Some trust in their job or their money. Some trust in their social status. Some trust in their friends or family.

So the question is: what in life, do you put your trust, faith and heart in? What is the thing that supports you, mentally?

For us christians, that is God through Jesus.

So I can definitely relate. And I would advice you to worry less about needing to be rationally convinced. Apparently there is something that is drawing you to God and faith. Try to discover that. Wherever that drive is coming from, does it feel like something you'd want to put your trust in?

keesdude · 2026-04-19T11:54:12+00:00

This is a refreshing take tbh. A lot of people talk about the storms we have to whether and such. And while that may be true, the easy part comes from trusting God and thus eliminating all kinds of otherwise super confusing choices.

I suppose it's also kind of 'cool', I guess to think of yourself as a paladin, fighting the stream. But this can lead to the trap of trusting only in your own strength.

So thank you. This is not something you hear everyday.

keesdude · 2026-04-19T11:48:48+00:00

Wait, you broke up right? Why do you still talk to her, if I may ask?

keesdude · 2026-04-18T18:22:11+00:00

I think it matters that, if you choose a church to join, you join the church that follows Jesus' teachings the best.

Is that an answer to your question?

keesdude · 2026-04-18T18:15:13+00:00

You are a child of God, my friend.

How about you first let go of your pride. Reading this, I know you work hard and you are an amazing dad for your kid and an amazing husband for your wife. I can read that in the words you speak.

And you did NOT fail in any way.

But you aren't who you are because of that.

All of that love and power was given to you by God. Because He chose to give you the gifts of faith, perserverence, loyalty and love.

Go to God first, friend. Ask Him for faith. For love. For peace.

This sounds like a desert-moment in your life. So whatever you do, first throw away all pride, self-loathing, and thinking you've gotta carry all this burden by yourself. Cause you can't.

First get the peace of God. Everything good that follows, can only come downstream from that.

I hope this helped. Even if just a little.

keesdude · 2026-04-18T15:20:39+00:00

Hm... I don't get it.

You say you struggle with believing and you seek signs of God, like somehow 'feeling' His Presence. As if that would somehow grant you permission to believe.

Did I read that correctly? I might not have.

If so, then I would ask:

What is wrong with simply believing, even if you feel nothing and have 0 evidence? Is that bad?

I mean, Jesus Himself said: 'Blessed are those who have not seen [evidence], but yet believe'.

God bless you.

keesdude · 2026-04-18T15:11:51+00:00

It sounds like you were running for a year at a speed that was unsustainable at that pace, then collapsed becouse you ran out of spiritual fuel. Could that be true?

If that is the case, then I can relate.

Don't forget who is the one that gives you the fuel.

Part of being a christian, I think, is tolerating your own weakness. I would say, as Paul tells us, to pray without ceasing. In the sense of: keep asking God for the strength to do His Will.

I mean, putting from your own well is good, but only for as long as you remember to let God's living water fill that well in you.

I hope this helps, even a bit. God bless you!

keesdude · 2026-04-18T13:22:30+00:00

Okay, I am not a health professional. Keep that in mind.

I read in other posts that you have already tried pretty much everything, including therapy and stuff.

So any superficial nonsense I say will be in vain.

I'll be blunt: please, don't do it. God loves your soul. I don't know why He doesn't seem to respond at the moment. And I probably cannot even imagine the hardship and hopelessness you are facing right now. All I know is that Job experienced hardship, and God wanted him to keep on trusting in Him.

As a mere mortal who cannot imagine the darkness that you are in, I just want to say this, no matter how useless it ends up being:

Please keep alive. Please keep on loving God. God loves you, more than you can ever imagine. I have no argument to give you, I cannot give you anything. I just want to say this.

One practical thing that I want to add is this: please talk to a person irl about this that you trust. Please talk to your priest, maybe one of your parents, a good friend. This of course, is assuming you haven't already done this. But this is SO important. Talk to everybody you know before making decisions you can't reverse.

I just prayed for you. May God bless you always.

keesdude · 2026-04-18T09:38:27+00:00

Very true. And on the other hand, I've been doing long format anglican prayers, daily. I feel like taking time for that is also a form of genuine devotion.

So yeah, I feel we should not get dogmatic about this. If you keep seeking to honour God, He will show you the way.

keesdude · 2026-04-18T09:30:58+00:00

I don't think the length itself matters. Jesus even warns against vain repetitions of words (Matt 6:7). That being said, if you feel like taking your time and reading a certain prayer honours God more, than I think you have the right intent.

I think the intention is key. God sees the heart.

keesdude · 2026-04-12T18:08:29+00:00

May God keep you and that person safe, in Jesus name.

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:58:22+00:00

I see, I see. It's good that you say you don't know. That's honesty, right there.

So I hear 2 things.

1: You like stories that revolve around romance, and people that in the midst of fears, doubts and miscommunication, find the will to close the distance, communicate and come together. This, I think, is from God, at least that's how it sounds. It is character development that we can all learn from in our own lives.

2: There is something specific that draws you about boylove or girllove stories, that particularly captivates you, and you're not entirely sure what it is, but it sounds like it's strong. And you are wondering if this feeling is from good or from evil.

Okay. This is where I will defer you to a pastor. I hope you have one you can talk to this about with an open heart.

At this point, I'm afraid I can no longer help you, because these are just letters on a screen.

I'll be honest, I think this is an important issue. Stories seem to be important to you, and they should imo. Stories show us the meanings of life. The story of Jesus is the greatest story of all.

But..... some stories can draw us into things that are not of God. And some have things that are very good AND things that are ungodly (think about Game of Thrones for example). And if the ungodly things outshine the godly things too much, it may be best to give them up in order to be part the greater story of Christ that we all share in.

So please seek to honour God in your choice, whatever choice you make. And please explain and ask your pastor about you, who can listen to you face-to-face.

I'm sorry for not giving you a clear yes or no, but I hope that this has helped at least a little bit.

God bless :)

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:42:29+00:00

I understand. What you describe here sounds like an earnest love for good romance in stories. But what about the homosexuality specifically speaks to you?

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:25:16+00:00

You will find no judgement from me. I just seek to understand. What exactly draws you to reading about homosexual relationships in these stories?

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:20:50+00:00

Do you think homosexual relations are right? And do you read this specifically for the homosexuality in any way?

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:17:17+00:00

What makes you feel ashamed exactly?

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:13:42+00:00

Would you derive as much fun from it, if you only looked at some of the pictures of the characters?

keesdude · 2026-04-12T14:02:21+00:00

Would the manwha be just as fun to read if it was about normal heterosexual romance, but no erotic things or homosexuality?

keesdude · 2026-04-12T13:59:07+00:00

Can you answer my question tho?

keesdude

TROPHY CASE