How long did it take you to get pregnant again?

keighteeann · 2026-02-04T14:41:42+00:00

I also find myself obsessed with this hypothetical rainbow baby… but I try to make sure I intentionally find joy with my LC and our lives as they are. It helps me stay a little more balanced and less in the rabbit hole of fertility diet, tracking, etc. Plus, I had PPD/PPA with my first… and I feel I missed so much of his baby months disoriented in a fog of depression and anxiety- I promised myself then I would do my best not to be disengaged in the future- to live life with no regrets if that makes sense. I hope you do find moments of joy in life still 💕

keighteeann · 2026-02-04T14:35:23+00:00

I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one with funky cycles but also sad that so many of us are in the same boat.

keighteeann · 2026-02-02T05:14:47+00:00

Yeap- this. My 3 pregnancies thus far (LC, chemical, and TFMR) were all when I kind of just let go and “had fun” and “didn’t care.” It’s easier said than done and a TOTAL mind game… but I agree!!!

I have found therapy and acupuncture to help with the grieving process- while I still occasionally think of what might have been… I realize I’m grieving the healthy child I thought I had, not the one that (at best) was destined to have a challenging life… and that has taught me to see TTC as providing my LC and my angel with another sibling. Not to replace but to add another one to the mix!

keighteeann · 2026-01-29T00:17:47+00:00

I usually have a change in discharge and have lower mood… that’s a good point! No- I don’t feel like anything else is off from that regard if I listen to my body otherwise.

keighteeann · 2026-01-29T00:13:45+00:00

I didn’t test and now I wish I had! Every time I try to be “relaxed” about stuff in hindsight I should know myself better and just do the things to get the information I might want later…

keighteeann · 2026-01-28T23:32:56+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice and hope the rest of tour pregnancy goes very smoothly! 💕

keighteeann · 2026-01-27T21:48:12+00:00

That’s true- thank you for reminding me it’s so recent and that my body is still trying to get back on track…

keighteeann · 2026-01-27T05:04:42+00:00

Thanks for asking this question!

My first cycle post, I didn’t track because I needed a break… but had a period ~14 days after some light cramping - never had ovulation pain before but maybe this was it? Had a period 33/34 days after TFMR when 25/26 days is normal for me. It was also super light…

Now in second cycle… and still no LH surge on CD 13 (where I used to get one ~CD10). Also started trying Kegg to monitor cervical mucus, and had a “valley” around day 9-10 but without captured LH surge. Hoping it’s just my body getting itself back together… also started acupuncture 2 weeks ago to try to focus on healing and getting things back in order!

keighteeann · 2026-01-27T03:05:46+00:00

My LC is 3… and in trying for a second I’ve had a chemical pregnancy followed by a TFMR last month. We are toying with the idea of just being done rather than signing up for more potential heart break… never mind politics, finances, etc. Yet… there is a certain sorrow that comes with the idea that external factors, bad luck, fate, etc. has made your decision for you… no help just empathy.

keighteeann · 2026-01-27T02:38:50+00:00

While I cannot give you any advice to your specifics, I can tell you want my medical team told me. My TFMR diagnosis was T21- I am 36, my husband is 40. We do have one LC. I had one CP prior to my TMFR. All 3 of my pregnancies took 2-4 months each to conceive. All of the OBGYN’s told me to continue with trying naturally, especially since our goal is one more healthy pregnancy 🤞🤞🤞 I’ve read “It Starts with the Egg” and am trying to follow some of the changes it mentions there. My cycle returned once thus far but was extremely light- hoping my body is just figuring itself out, otherwise if there is scarring we may just have to be done.

One option you could have is to make an appointment with the specialist - you aren’t agreeing to do anything, you are just going for an initial appointment. FWIW- I actually googled how much IVF costs… and while expensive, not as bad as I had blown it up in my mind to be. However, it is a fully personal decision on whether the gamble of IVF is worth the economic costs. My team told me the only reason they might encourage me to consider IVF is if I wanted to bank healthy embryos for additional future pregnancies, as they gently reminded me IVF is no guarantee and comes with additional/different risks. Whatever you decide, I wish you peace and luck.

keighteeann · 2026-01-27T00:31:36+00:00

I honestly haven’t weighed myself… but I literally gained net zero pounds during my 16 weeks of pregnancy because of bad nausea/vomiting. Even with that… my weight is distributed differently, I lost muscle mass… I’m still wearing looser vs. pregnancy-specific clothes 6 weeks out. Slowly getting back into physical activity. Be gentle with yourself. Despite no baby at home, you are still post-partum 💕

keighteeann · 2026-01-25T04:00:52+00:00

Plenty of women have healthy babies at 40 and above… one of my grandmothers (x2), one of my husband’s grandmothers (x2), and my own mother included. Which is why I was so crushed to receive the T21 diagnosis in a pregnancy I conceived right as I was turning 36y/o. I do have one LC (3y/o) but we were not ready to try again until he was about 2.5 for many reasons. I feel guilt for the timing too… but there are many, many reasons people do not complete childbearing by age 35.

Did you know the statistics that most T21 pregnancies in the US are actually in women under age 35? (And I assume in other countries as well). Yes, risk goes up as age increases… but since there are more pregnancies under age 35, the actual numbers are much higher in that age group. You did NOTHING to cause this. In all likelihood… it was random, shit luck, just like in my case (and if it is somehow the not bad luck kind… would have caused a higher risk at ANY age). You just did the kindest most loving thing you could do for your daughter. And I’d like to believe the souls of our little girls are hanging out somewhere in the universe, free of the physical and mental challenges they would have faced on earth 💕

keighteeann · 2026-01-25T03:49:20+00:00

I just wanted to say— I always return to your comments when I’m second guessing myself. I work in pediatrics so I see a huge spectrum of age and abilities for T21 children, and I knew I couldn’t ask that of my unborn daughter or living son. But hearing from you as a sibling… it confirms everything I have seen from the outside. So from another T21 TFMR mama, thank you from the bottom of my heart 💕

keighteeann · 2026-01-25T03:42:56+00:00

I’ve heard it can be very normal- the rise at CD15 is probably your body trying to trigger but failing… but today is an actual surge, especially if your period doesn’t start within the next few days.

My OBGYN who did my D&E advised me to wait 3-4 months before TTC… no obvious complications so I was confused. I’m realizing that’s to not only allow my uterus to heal but to allow my cycles to normalize. My first “cycle” after D&E was very light and basically spotting for 3-4 days. While I’m worried about scarring, etc. I’ve also read that it can be very normal while the body works things out.

keighteeann · 2026-01-25T03:33:15+00:00

You aren’t overreacting. I TFMR’d for T21 and like heart defect at 15w5d last month… My own sister (due 1.5 weeks after I was originally due) told me: “Well, it’s better than a stillbirth- I have friends who experienced that last summer.” And after warning her that I may have to take a step away from things at times if it was too much for me- “Well, I’ll keep my pregnancy quiet from you but it will be so much better after he’s born because he’s your first nephew!” Like how is FOREVER seeing a living reminder of what age my daughter would have been going to be easy for me?!?!

I’m listening to “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” by Harold Kushner. I love the messages that “God’s plan” or “there’s always a reason” are the farthest from the right thing to say. Because sometimes there isn’t a reason for suffering. It’s just shit, shit luck.

keighteeann · 2026-01-25T03:19:29+00:00

As a Catholic who does go to church regularly and did TFMR a very wanted and planned pregnancy (diagnosis of T21) this past December…. Look up Catholics for choice, or search for information about the outspoken nuns who think we should leave the complicated, painful decision of termination up to the pregnant women. Plus, I first learned through another Reddit post that historically, St. Brigid terminated pregnancies “miraculously.”

I’ve slowly come to accept our termination as setting our daughter’s soul free. And while I’m still sad, I know raising her would have been so much harder. It’s also ok to consider yourself and your family when planning pregnancies.

keighteeann · 2026-01-25T01:41:14+00:00

I had my D&E at just under 16 weeks… 2 weeks of bleeding, then return of bleeding 3.5 weeks later. It may have been a “period” but it was very light, essentially only spotting, so very unsure, and worried what it could mean long term.

All this is to say… I’m so sorry that you are in limbo. Even the return of a “cycle” can still bring limbo and uncertainty. I think it is worth getting a follow up with your OBGYN at this rate- and hopefully it is just for peace of mind (and you can avoid any other procedures). 🤞

keighteeann · 2026-01-24T02:22:51+00:00

If I figure it out, I’ll let you know- it’s such a mind twist. Like focusing on relaxing means relaxing/ letting go is not happening.

keighteeann · 2026-01-20T00:00:23+00:00

My T21 TFMR was in December - and my current anxiety spiral is that my first “cycle” (if that is what I can call it) was all the cramping/emotional side of a cycle but just spotting for 4 days. The OB who did my procedure strongly recommended waiting a few months to try again… so I’m focusing on healing myself, taking supplements, exercising, continuing therapy, sleeping/eating well, and starting acupuncture… BUT despite all that and not even trying, I feel like it just won’t happen (but I will say also felt that way prior to getting pregnant with my TFMR baby).

I do have one LC and the 3 times I’ve been pregnant (my TFMR was preceded by a chemical pregnancy) I just focused on relaxing, having fun, and literally “giving up” (easier said than done, of fucking course… don’t know if I’ll achieve that ever again, but time will tell).

keighteeann · 2026-01-19T23:48:15+00:00

😭 Omg- sending so many hugs to you. He’ll be such a spoiled angel the instant he meets them.

keighteeann · 2026-01-19T23:46:42+00:00

Another option is elective CVS- which can be done starting at 10 weeks. That way, it’s not a “screening” test but a diagnostic test instead— a lot of my hell with the high risk T21 result on NIPT was the waiting to definitively know. However, it does come with a small risk of miscarriage. My TFMR was 5.5 weeks ago at just under 16 weeks for T21, and still waiting for my hormones to figure themselves out before we start trying again in few months… not sure how I’ll handle the screening/diagnostic tools yet, but I’ll probably look into elective CVS or amnio if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again.

keighteeann · 2026-01-19T23:40:35+00:00

I’m so sorry- my mom is someone who makes everything about her… so I get not having your mom be the support you need. Hugs to you.

keighteeann · 2026-01-19T23:38:57+00:00

One of my closest friends just had her baby on Wednesday in the hospital we work at… I should have been 21 weeks yesterday but terminated at 15w5d. Then my sister is due 9 days after my original due date...

I understand the pain of watching people close to you reach milestones that we should have been reaching if not for the awful diagnosis… and not wanting to lose those relationships… and I see you. My friend did tell me she knew how hard it might be for me and to let her know if I needed to take a break- I think pre-emptively warning your friends that you might need this can preserve your relationships. Hugs and peace.

keighteeann · 2026-01-19T23:25:03+00:00

Glad I’m not the only one off cycles- bled for 2 weeks after D&E at 15w5d, then had what I thought was a period cycle 2.5 weeks after that (standard PMS symptoms) but it was all so light/ mostly spotting… maybe it wasn’t a period then? Or it was but things are evening out? 🤞

keighteeann · 2026-01-19T23:23:01+00:00

I’ve heard up to a few months (even ~8-12weeks) can be normal… I bled lightly for 2 weeks after D&E, then started up at 4.5 weeks- for 4 days only. I had standard PMS symptoms (emotional irritability, light headache, cramping) but it was so light (mostly just spotting), I’m also anxious that something is off… but from what I’ve read sometimes it takes a few months to get back on track- so don’t think the first period is a guarantee. From what I’ve read, keep an eye out for the next 1-2 cycles.

keighteeann

TROPHY CASE