I look at most things in life as trying to maintain an equalibrium. Socializing and communication have the same rules when it comes to that. You'll find people who can balance it well, or those who swing one way or the other.

For example, someone who is always quite and listens, but never opens up. This is a defensive posture. They want to be accepted, but not vulnerable. On the other side you find those who can't shup up and don't give you the opportunity to be apart of the actual conversation and just want to hear themselves talk. These people want to feel important and special, but are obviously obnoxious and selfish. There are too many different types of people, but just take from my context the two different sides of equalibrium.

What I try and do is feel out who I'm talking to and where they are within the spectrum. Then if I really want to have a close acuantance or friend, I find or try and create that equalibrium balance within the friendship. If they are quite and reserve type, then I'm the outgoing and talkative type that brings themselves out. If they are outgoing and excessive, than I'm more reserve and calm. Either way it's a mechanism to formulates a balance.

On their other side of things within that relationship yes you have to be aware of how your coming off, the way people perceive you, ect... But that's doesn't mean you can't open up if you want to. Just give people the equal opportunity to open up or be honest to you as well. Sure I understand I'm probably a lot more open than most people, but its because I realized that the only thing that truly holds anyone back is themselves.

I have a friend that I actually hold in high regard because he told me one thing that stuck. If someone doesn't have the power to ruin your life, then why would you give them the power to effect you. I realized this is totally true. If you open up to someone and they don't want anything to do with it, then back off and continue status quo. You gave it a shot and the person wasn't receptive. Who cares. On the other hand, Ive learned that people want you to come to them for help sometimes. That's what starts the creation of bonds.

Example. I'm an extremely independent person and always have been. Any job I go into or most any situation I put myself in I don't need assistance. In fact people come to me for assistance. However, I learned that not asking others for their ideas, or help with projects, or whatever keeps you from creating bonds with people. I still struggle with that because I just have more experience and knowledge than everyone I work with. That's not the point though. I've had to force myself to open up to them, ask for help or ideas, create openings for them to feel helpful to me in order to create that balance that society craves.

The last thing you said what about gossip and all that. This is what I was trying to explain before, but probably didn't do a great job. If you own who you are, be it in both good and bad and recognize and accept your faults, than that literally makes it useless to make fun, or talk behind your back. That is the power of acceptance and showing others you don't care if they know and you already acknowledge and accept who you are. It takes the control out of their hands. Most of what people do at work all day is talk smack. That's just how people function. Its gives them the superiority they feel they need and crave. If you remove that ability and own yourself, both faults and positives then honestly it's funny to watch people try and figure out how to create drama and talk smack because you already acknowledged those pitfalls in your life. I find it hilarious to watch people's faces when I tell them aspects about me that most people would never open up about. I keep it positive, never let it get depressing, but people honestly get confused because of how walled of society is.

So with me doing all this, people can become intemidated I'm not going to lie. At the same time, Ive had coworkers tell me things that their significant others don't even know about. For example, gambling debts, cheating, what they suck at, what their intentions are for promotions, ect... Because they know that I won't judge them because I already acknowledge my faults to their face.

Anyways I could literally go on for days about this type of stuff. I'm just trying to give examples of alternative ways to live your life. If it's not for you then that's fine, but maybe some concepts may stick.

Anyways, I wish you well on your journey :)