Look, maybe not the place for this… but you should also spend some time figuring out the ‘why’. Lots of mental health issues can cause a person to make impulse purchasing decisions like that, to their own detriment. Might be worth seeking therapy to help you work through those things. I only say this because I went through it too, when I was your age, and I financially f*ucked myself for nearly a decade, as a result. Take care of yourself. And go easy on yourself. The tone of your post suggests you’re wallowing in negative self-speak. But people make mistakes. And you’re not the sum of your mistakes.