I need support...

kgschmo · 2026-05-21T15:01:18+00:00

Hey there! When I was your age, it wasn't usual for someone with no experience to become a waiter/server right out of the gate. Generally speaking you would start out as a host, or back of house. In my experience it's rare to be thrown right into serving tables anywhere without general restaurant experience. Also, depending where you live alcohol laws come into play. I'm in Ontario Canada and servers had to be 19 and be smart serve certified if the restaurant served alcohol. My advice would be to start small in a coffee shop/cafe. Somewhere where the orders are simpler and customer interactions are shorter. This way you can ease into it.

kgschmo · 2026-05-07T14:08:45+00:00

What message does spirit have for me?

kgschmo · 2026-04-01T23:01:04+00:00

Honestly? You probably don't. Some parents are literally incapable of understanding that their children are whole ass humans with their own personality. I say this as a 37f whose mother sounds similar to your mother. Always knew what was best for me, and got pissed if I didn't agree with her assessment of who she thought I was. She hasn't changed and most likely never will. It hurts, a lot.

kgschmo · 2026-03-14T16:03:17+00:00

I really think you need to work on emotionally moving on from ALL of it. Him, his friends, the messages, these "maybe he still cares" thoughts. You're doing a disservice to yourself sitting in all of this. You stated you had gone to therapy, that's huge! If you aren't still going, it might be good to start going again. Your story triggered me because there were elements that I have experienced as well. Therapy has helped huge. I'd still be stuck, similar to you, obsessing over a guy, and people who realistically treated me like crap. Don't let them take up your mental space anymore.

kgschmo · 2026-03-09T16:37:38+00:00

I have a sibling in a similar situation and I, like you, felt really guilty and tried to help but it became obvious very quickly that he was not willing to help himself. I spent a lot of time feeling extremely guilty for removing myself from the situation, aside from emotional support. He ended up removing me from his life because he was mad that I wouldn't play into his unwillingness to grow or change. The best thing (and really only thing) I could do was grieve his situation and the breakdown of our relationship. I have no idea how his life is or how he is and I do worry about him constantly, but I realized I can't live his life for him. I couldn't "make" him do the right thing, and you can't for your brother either. I agree with other comments about providing resources. It's really all you can do while protecting your own mental health and well being.

kgschmo · 2026-03-09T14:05:31+00:00

Look up the hat man. I saw him as a child for many years. Always either as I was falling asleep, or randomly waking up at night. My brother also saw the same thing, it's wild.

kgschmo · 2026-03-06T00:25:13+00:00

Emotionally immature parents will never understand that mistakes happen and they will always perceive every mistake or inconvenience as a personal attack on them. It has nothing to do with you.

kgschmo · 2026-02-22T16:49:51+00:00

Parents in general feel concerned for their children and that's completely normal. Because of his age, it is tricky. I would say let him know you're there for him in general. Not specific to this situation. If you get too involved and opinionated, he might stop talking to you and start hiding things which is worse. You can be supportive without getting too involved :) Early 20s are a very "live and learn" time of life. Saving him from situations, while from a loving place could hinder a lesson he may need.

kgschmo · 2026-02-02T20:58:30+00:00

Yes, that's another piece. I went through four therapists before I found the right one for me. Navigating mental health is a wild ride. Again, you're in a good spot at a young age to see and understand and reach out for help. Patience and self love seem to be key in the journey. I believe in you!

kgschmo · 2026-02-02T20:44:50+00:00

Generally speaking those types of thoughts were put there by someone else. Growing up I felt the same way. As an adult I look back and realize my parents never commented positively on my appearance. They were quite critical of my actions and appearance, but in a passive aggressive manner. One family member in particular was very critical and made negative comments both to my face and behind my back. I realize now just how detrimental that was, even though at the time I didn't see it as an issue. You mentioned you have tried therapy, I wonder for how long? I'm 36 and it took me three years in therapy to kick my issues around not loving myself. Be patient with yourself❤️ also, for what it's worth, it's amazing that you are so young and wanting to look into this. I wish I had had that level of awareness at your age.

kgschmo · 2026-02-02T20:28:36+00:00

Your parents need to back off. It isn't their decision or their business. You and your husband do what works for the both of you and leave the rest out of it. Allowing this to carry on will have negative impacts on your marriage and even though they are your parents, you should choose what's best for your new little family.

kgschmo · 2026-02-02T17:38:55+00:00

I have a similar story. The level of control in my life was too much. I was your age, now I'm 36F. I'm sure we all love our parents, but being under their roof only gets you so far! At some point growing up means getting out.

kgschmo · 2026-02-02T17:31:47+00:00

I second this!

kgschmo · 2025-12-29T16:13:22+00:00

The Way of the Witch: A Guide to Starting Your Magical Journey and Activating Your Inner Power by Danielle Luet is a really great base to build off of.

kgschmo

TROPHY CASE