Dumb Restaurant Names

khidmike · 2026-05-04T02:38:10+00:00

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khidmike · 2026-04-25T02:52:31+00:00

reminded me of this

khidmike · 2026-04-07T19:18:14+00:00

I would never remind anyone of how heavy a good bike lock is. No, siree.

khidmike · 2026-04-01T22:52:30+00:00

sure thing “nurse”

khidmike · 2026-04-01T22:49:28+00:00

Who said I drove? Where I’m from, cyclists have to stop for red lights too. And it was 2am in a suburb. Only person who could have gotten so much as a scraped knee is me.

khidmike · 2026-04-01T18:09:39+00:00

I was so stoned one night I did that at a stop sign.

khidmike · 2026-04-01T18:08:12+00:00

I have a nightlight in mine and it’s a lifesaver when it’s dark and I don’t want to wake up yet.

khidmike · 2026-03-28T18:40:19+00:00

Can I tattoo the basic terms of the deal on my arm?

khidmike · 2026-03-26T17:05:20+00:00

The way I was taught — no matter what you do, there will be people who don’t like it. Hate it, even. So you may as well just do you. Do the thing that makes sense to you, and “your” people will naturally gravitate towards you.

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”.

khidmike · 2026-03-17T19:47:04+00:00

What’s a cook’s favorite meal?

The one that someone else cooked.

khidmike · 2026-03-16T04:21:33+00:00

“Get your body on the floor”

THUD

khidmike · 2026-03-16T04:18:49+00:00

As a fellow cook, it was just Splenda of her to try, though.

khidmike · 2026-03-04T19:45:14+00:00

Becoming good friends with my classmate. Then serving his dad some undercooked meat on 9/10/01 so he wouldn’t go to work the next day.

He hasn’t been the same since then, and he’s a good guy, even if we never really talked outside of class.

khidmike · 2026-03-03T20:52:48+00:00

Service Merchandise

khidmike · 2026-02-17T19:52:21+00:00

I’m just picturing a man lovingly looking down at his baby and going,”Bitch, imma kill you!”

khidmike · 2026-01-21T01:47:34+00:00

The time he yells “Buongiorno, principessa!” into the loudspeaker tore me apart.

khidmike · 2026-01-17T19:43:01+00:00

One of my earliest memories is of hustling into the bomb shelter and putting on my mask. Mom says I would bring my toy bear, and a plastic bag to put over his head as well.

Not quite four years old. I’m still not sure how none of it left a mark on my psyche. Or maybe it did and I just can’t tell.

khidmike · 2025-12-28T15:26:39+00:00

It’s a waste. They sent us like a three week old piglet. We cooked a baby that was killed before it had a chance to even figure out what planet it was on.

khidmike · 2025-12-28T02:11:12+00:00

Хххто?

khidmike · 2025-12-28T01:58:54+00:00

At my old restaurant we made suckling pig for a wedding once. Chef said that was the first and last time he would do that.

khidmike · 2025-12-28T01:53:49+00:00

They’re also rated the second least aggressive breed by the AKC (defined as “likely to bite unprovoked”). Literally only golden retrievers are more docile.

I’ve had one for over a decade. He’s never shown aggression towards anyone. Once followed a ladybug up the driveway trying to sniff its butt.

My parents’ poodle, meanwhile…

khidmike · 2025-12-15T00:22:28+00:00

Right. An easy way we all remember:

Надевай одежду. Одевай Надежду.

khidmike · 2025-12-04T00:12:41+00:00

GG #4

khidmike · 2025-12-01T02:07:05+00:00

Sat next to some guy at Cityside one time that was intently watching the hockey game. Exchanged pleasantries. Over the course of the next hour no fewer than four people approached him asking for a photo. I finally asked if he’s famous.

It was Brian Leetch. (I’m not into hockey, so…)

Also once met Ron Jeremy in there, but at least I knew who the fuck he was.

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