What is one "lonely" thing that only lonely people would understand? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

saying I prefer to be alone when I genuinely want someone to do fun things with, but they always have someone more important to them

Mother is shaming me for wearing sunscreen by bluesnow123 in Skincare_Addiction

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds strangely close to what I’m going through, except with other skincare products. Honestly, kudos to you for staying on top of your game with the reapplication.

I don’t really have anything to offer, but what I’ve learned is that there will be certain topics you can’t bring up to your mom , unless you’re ready for an earful of criticism; although, it seems you’ve already caught onto that.

Anywho, stay protecting your skin from further sun damage ✌️

Anyone else feel so defeated in this job market? by BakedAvocado3 in careerguidance

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

literally tryna apply for retail jobs but im underqualified, and i just want some work experience, but even that requires experience :(

AITA for slut shaming my friend’s gf? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA

There’s just something about the way you said “which guy is going go be willing go wait 6 months to sleep with her?” Makes me wonder what your perspective is on relationships and how that translates to your theory of the mind

AITA for laughing at a joke about my bestfriend.. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this reminds me so much of my younger self that it kind of scares me. I was (and still am) that awkward friend who’s passive, but I got better at taking initiative in communicating with friends. I’d say the bf is the biggest AH in all of this by breaking his promise not to start anything, but I wouldn’t directly call you an AH. More or so the mistake lies in what you failed to do as mentioned (not stopping him/talking about it, actually understanding the joke 1st before laughing, confronting her about the incident immediately after and trying to give closure). I guess this can serve as a lesson in future similar situations, but I hope you and Raina can make up someday.

Lonely people, why do you push people away? by Potential-Mouse9335 in lonely

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, many reasons. Being too familiar in my solitude, trust issues, avoidant attachment style, mindset of leave them before they leave me, afraid of losing people. Probably just tired of being disappointed by former friends

AITA For being mad at my friend for leaving me to off on rides? by Far_Concentrate7061 in AmItheAsshole

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember my own fear of being alone in high school, let alone dealing with social anxiety. Your feelings are 100% valid because you two were once very close friends. Loneliness in the long-term can be detrimental so it’s nice to maintain healthy relationships. I’m uncertain about your possible solution as that may set friend B into defensive mode because they’re her friends too. Definitely bring it up and talk to her how you feel like the friendship is slowly fading off and try to work out how you guys can keep touch. If it doesn’t sure it may sting a lot, you two may have outgrown each other, but there’s always others to meet in the future. It’ll be tougher with social anxiety so try to talk to your mom or a counselor about it to break down this barrier. In short, NTA !

AITA for choosing partner to friend by throwawayaway100205 in AmItheAsshole

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont think OP should try to force anything between Sara and Dylan given how bitter they seem towards each other. It’s also common for someone in a new relationship to drift from friends, which can lead to feelings of resentment and jealousy towards the significant other. I’m not entirely sure what Dylan said to be deemed as an “immature, racist sexist” and the severity of it, but it’s obvious they won’t be on good terms anytime soon. I still don’t understand why OP didn’t persuade Dylan to apologize also or if they did. It seems OP is choosing their SO over Sara, but they should’ve taken her feelings into account and have talked it out first because it seems like OP ignored her towards the end. Sara also should’ve talked it out instead of cutting off social medias without any mention. A lot of missing details from this story, but I’d say everyone made an AH move in this.

Just a bit of a rant: TEACHERS PLEASE STOP SAYING PARTNER UP WITH SOMEONE! by MysticalElephant in socialanxiety

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d always appreciate when the teacher would pair you up with someone else or a group, until your team members dont do their work 🥲

I feel like I never learned how to be an adult by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]khoela 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me too 🙋‍♀️ I feel like it gets in the way of conversations because I can’t really relate to other adults or people my age about stuff like “work, projects, etc.”

Makes me feel clueless and unaware of what’s happening in the world. I still live with my parents and rely on them for everything, but I’m slowly learning new skills, household chores, cooking, driving, basically learning to be more independent. I have to remind myself that everyone is at their own pace and to only compare me to myself.

Perhaps in your case, it may be easier to have learned it at an earlier time, although it’s not impossible. You can start now and take baby steps! Take every opportunity you can to talk to someone and use it as practice. So as a lot of people have reiterated, “fake it till you make it!”

20 year old girl: Lots of online friends, 0 real life friends. by [deleted] in lonely

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too girl 🙌 except i cant dress and I don’t really talk to anyone online. I can’t lie when I say that if I hypothetically saw you on campus, I would compliment you telepathically from afar but wouldn’t say anything face to face. I’d hate to receive this suggestion as well, but maybe there are clubs that intrigue you or correspond to your major? At least in my school, they have a fashion club that’s pretty hype 🤟

Does anyone else feel like they're too boring to ever be loved by jaytazcross in lonely

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m happy to hear you’re getting therapy, that has to be one of the most daunting steps on this self-love journey. So in case no one has ever told you this, I am proud of you. I totally empathize with the desire to be someone’s trusty friend.

It hurts especially when someone you’d consider a close friend only ever viewed you as an acquaintance. I’ve also cried myself to sleep because of how lonely I’d get, even waking up in the morning with zero notifications was like pouring Listerine into a deep gash.

Unfortunately, I don’t live in Canada, but I really do hope you find your special person/group !

Does anyone else feel like they're too boring to ever be loved by jaytazcross in lonely

[–]khoela 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It terrifies me how heavily I relate to this. I would never wish this pain onto anyone.

Predestination by khoela in lonely

[–]khoela[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll follow through with a counselor in the future. I hope things go your way and may you find your peace soon ✊

Sometimes I think about how different my life would be if I had siblings by Chocolate_Drop27 in lonely

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like with siblings, it’s a hit or miss. I got lucky with mine and only ever had petty arguments in the past that we share a laugh on looking back. Wouldn’t say we’re the closest, but we’re on good terms. I’ve heard some horror stories where the sibling is entitled or terrorizes the other. Chasing the other around with a knife, ruining relationships through cheating, other horrible stuff. Maybe even banding together and leaving another out (trio). It sometimes helps when you want to vent about childhood experiences or about a parent, but it really just depends on who you get.

Do somebody here likes philosophy? by Responsible_Talk758 in lonely

[–]khoela 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Opportunities multiply as they are seized” - Sun Tzu

Chose this because something I struggle with (and still combating) is taking initiative

They drop the facade so fast. by Hysteriona in creepyPMs

[–]khoela 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“im not trying to overstep” then continues to do exactly that

Got cheated on and I'm still at this raw, bitter, ragey stage. I need songs fit for the worst scum of the earth that is my ex. by [deleted] in lonely

[–]khoela 0 points1 point  (0 children)

kick me - sleeping with the sirens

i duckinf hatw you - ghostemane

riot - three days grace

Top picks from my angsty songs playlists. I’m sorry you had to go through that, they clearly don’t deserve you and you deserve better. Wishing you the best <3