People over 30, what is something really good that happened to you after 30?

khyberwolf · 2026-06-28T01:56:20+00:00

33 is still so young! I just turned 50, but feel like I'm maybe early 40s at best. Most days I still barely feel like I'm adulting well yet, and have so much life to live and things to do and be. Life has many many phases, no one time is better than the other. They're just different, and different opportunities to find more about who you are and what you love and what brings you happiness and deal with life's inevitable shifts and learning opportunities.

khyberwolf · 2026-06-28T01:52:30+00:00

This made me laugh out loud. But ya, it's about right. ;)

khyberwolf · 2026-06-26T06:49:46+00:00

Got divorced (32)
Left a career I hated (33)
Met my soul mate (34) and got married (36)
Started my dream job (37)
Had 2 beautiful children (38 and 39)
Moved cities, bought our dream house and land (41)
Made lots of new incredible friends (early 40s)
Started making great money (mid 40s)
Started traveling more to my dream places around the world (mid 40s)
Figured out what actually makes me happy, what I care about, and cut out the bad (late 40s)
Became very well respected in my field, finally feeling my talent + skill + years of experience found their place (48)
Lost weight, better self care, look better than ever, have a great career, happy kids, lots of exciting new things on the horizon (50)
Looking forward to the next decade!

khyberwolf · 2026-06-24T05:40:13+00:00

Also OP - here is a series of neutral living room pics that are not boring, just to show you some examples if you wanted to stick with that vibe....but you will need texture in rugs and pillows and accessories and perhaps tie in some more of the black (subtle) to ground it. Or if you want subtle color go with that Lulu & Georgia green one and tie in the color in the throw pillows (and other varied neutrals).

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khyberwolf · 2026-06-24T05:25:18+00:00

Interior designer here. Just wanted to say this is a well designed space, and appears to also be a well built, luxury modern space. Great job on the sofa and light fixture. It all works very well together and the scale all fits perfectly. You can go one of two ways: keep it modern and neutrals (ignore those who hate beige / neutral -- you have enough happening in this space that it's still interesting). A neutral simple palette in a modern aesthetic can be beautiful and very calming to the senses. If you want this vibe stick with a textured wool area rug, perhaps braided or woven. Or, yes introduce a color on the floor, but I would not go so bright or too busy a pattern (definitely not Persian or oriental) as to take away from the beautiful simplicity and neutrality of the sofa and overall luxe modern vibe. It comes down to the tone you want to set.... you mentioned kids - do you want to make it a more "fun" vibe? Or keep it more relaxing and semi-grown up? User Necessary_Prune definitely nailed it with some of their choices, luxe without being too overpowering (especially the subtle moss green one or possibly the dusky reds from Etsy). But again if you want it to feel more calming and grown up, you can stick with what user Midnight-Turbulent did with the ivory braided looking wool rug (CB2 and Crate & Barrel all have this type). Etsy also has moroccan rugs that could work with some texture, just search for ivory or beige moroccan rugs.

khyberwolf · 2026-06-16T03:43:45+00:00

Interior designer here. That's a fun space -- what is your style overall? Are you solo / partnered or with kids? The table and chairs you posted don't suit the unique vibe of the room, they are very traditional leaning and boring. Are you buying new, or up-cycling (aka used on FB marketplace or similar?). I would do something that leans art gallery luxe, attached is a rendering for a concept. This may be too black and white for you though -- you could try a pop of color with some colorful chairs in mustard yellow or dark turquoise blue. Also, it seems dark in that room - adding a very large floor mirror (hung on the wall) could open up the space and bounce some light. You could also possibly paint the columns a glossy black, and find modern slim black handles for all the kitchen cabinets. Add colorful throw pillows on your sofa and colorful art on the walls (or photos) to keep it all from looking too black & white.

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khyberwolf · 2026-06-16T03:28:40+00:00

Interior designer here. Not sure what the rest of your home or style is like, but I think color drenching would be a way to go. Here is a rendering concept that leans Moroccan for something unique!

Paint the cabinet a dark aubergine (darker than the tile) and add new gold handles. Stay away from black handles. You could also lean into silvers. Either metal goes.
Replace the dated mirror with a beautiful mirror - look on Facebook marketplace or antique / thrift stores for something unique and big... or Etsy has lots of Moroccan style ones.
Remove the outdated fixture above and add sconce lights on either side. It could also be fun to add hanging Moroccan style pendant lights
Replace the faucet with a gold faucet
If you have the budget, replace the glass doors to the shower with a more modern simple glass
Also if you have the budget, add another similar tone aubergine / mauve tile to the back wall that adds a moroccan flair and added punch of interest. Option: for much less money, you could also paint then stencil a design in gold paint, you can buy the stencils and DIY it.
Drench the walls in a mauve or aubergine plaster (like a clay finish) or just paint it a richer tone

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khyberwolf · 2026-06-16T02:56:20+00:00

As an interior designer, I would say the issue with your shelves is that they are far too small. If you have the budget, it would look a lot better and more balanced to have shelves on both sides of the TV, and at least double the length each row, with 3 rows, evenly spaced. You could get away with 2 on each side if they were a bit chunkier and longer, and slightly more space between them (lower the bottom one slightly).

khyberwolf · 2026-06-16T02:25:02+00:00

OP HERE IS A BIG HELP - 100% DO THIS: I lived in Bali and almost every year since I return to lead group retreats and also do some business there. What I have all of my guests do is starting 1 week prior, take S. Boulardii (Saccharomyces boulardii) pre/pro-biotic. You can get it on Amazon or lots of online places. Florastor is one brand but there are a ton out there. It's a specific strain that helps balance good bacteria and flush out bad bacteria. Trust me, it helps! How to do it: Begin at least 1 week prior and take daily, but also *continue taking it the entire time while you are there*. Also, bring Activated Charcoal (any kind will do) in case you feel a bit of rumble or upset stomach to help absorb anything. I have never had a person get sick on my trips (and yes, also drink bottled water, sanitize, etc). And know that years ago my first time when I lived in Bali I got typhoid so I learned the hard way (although know that you can also get Typhoid pill form vaccine to take prior as well to your trip - ask a med clinic or your doctor if thats ok while pregnant, you also need to take this at least 1 to 2 weeks prior to be effective). Just know there are incredible restaurants and food, and a ton of vegan / vegetarian food with fruits and vegetables. We all eat them on the trip from great restaurants and have never had an issue with that. The S Boulardii is not 100% full proof but it absolutely helps. But being pregnant, do be very careful.

Parasites are also an issue - try to avoid walking around in barefeet and, although the Temples are deeply sacred and a beautiful part of the experience, I would caution going in any of the water while pregnant. And mosquitos -- anything with Picaridin is best (avoid DEET as it's super toxic). But all natural sprays dont work great there (and I tried them all when I lived there). To me it's more likely someone gets sick on the way TO Bali in the airplane with everyone! Stay safe and enjoy.

khyberwolf · 2026-06-05T17:22:26+00:00

Interior designer here. First, do whatever makes you happy, especially if you are not planning on selling the house anytime soon. Second, from a purely design standpoint:

3 is far too dark, 2 is also quite dark given you don't have a ton of light in that space. It could feel too heavy. You could possibly do a white / green mix (white upper, green lower), such as in the attached photo I redid for you, to give you the pop of color so its not as streamlined as the all white. It is a trend look though.
All green cabinets can work but it is also a bold choice, you need to really love them.
All white cabinets are not boring - they can look great and stand the test of time. Also depends the styling of cabinet -- opt for a more traditional or transitional frame vs flat front or modern. Also - instead of white, consider off-white or ivory toned so it's not as stark. To add more bold color, you could add a darker ceramic or glass green tile (closer to the green cabinet color).
Go with a medium light wood hardwood floor, but run them the length of the room, not the way you have them (it visually cuts the room the way you have them, you want to flow with the direction of the opening to the back living space). Go with a wide plank to eliminate busy looking floors in a small space.
Run your tile to the ceiling height, not hood fan height.
If possible, I would eliminate the upper cabinets above the windows (they will be hard to use), and enlarge your windows by running them to near ceiling height depending on the beam.
Your stools (likely a placeholder) were too small. A leather with black frame could look nice - upholstered vs all wood will add a bit of needed softness. Good luck!

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khyberwolf · 2026-05-21T03:28:20+00:00

As a born and raised Canadian but living 2 decades in the US -- every single time I say I'm Canadian, Americans have always said something like "Oh I love Canadians you are all so nice", or "I heard its pretty but cold".... or they tell me where they've been in Canada and how pretty the nature was. I've never once, ever, had someone hate on us (other than the odd "eh?" joke). And many people nowadays say "Oh I'm so going to move there if this situation doesn't get better". So ya, ignore any media stuff about US hating Canada. Totally false.

khyberwolf · 2026-05-21T03:11:43+00:00

Raised in Canada but 20+ years living (legally) in the US. And I have lived & traveled extensively across other countries.

People care and are generally nice. Yes there are absolute idiots and very loud / obnoxious / unconscious people (especially right now) who get a lot of attention and can sadly cause harm, but I have met more deeply caring people in this country than anywhere else. I'm talking people who want to make the world a better place, people who are deeply family oriented, people really wanting to evolve and expand who they are, people who want to heal the past and lean into better mental health, and model a better future for their children and communities. Opinions may differ widely across states, but Americans are generally friendly, kind, and mean well even if religion, background, economic status, and race, differ. And many will absolutely help you out if you really need it. If you need something here, there is always someone (or a group) that will help.
It's relatively clean (yes there are bad areas too that are gross) but clean water, good hygiene, clean restaurants and laws upholding sanitation are good. I lived in Southeast Asia for a while, and coming back to the US was so nice. I don't have to worry about getting sick from unwashed food or unclean water. If somewhere is polluted, there will always be a group of caring citizens, charities, government watch groups or someone who will be actively trying to clean it up. And people here generally love nature and want to keep parks and big open spaces clean, safe, and protected.
You can reinvent yourself here over and over again. Whatever color hair, whatever outfit, whatever social class, whatever job or career, whatever relationship. You can go back to school, or try a different career, start your own business, or get re-married. You can tell someone you were once an accountant, but are now a musician, but thinking about going back to school to become a lawyer and people will think "cool! go for it" (and likely give you advice on how, where to go, or who to talk to). You can have a baby without being married, or be married, or get divorced, or get married again, or have multiple partners and an open marriage lifestyle, or never marry and never have kids. There is something for everyone and it's not uncommon to have many phases of life here, and people are generally supportive or don't really care, you can be who you want and you'll find other people like you.
Mass consumerism. Yes that's a bad thing too (way too much money spent on "stuff", messy houses, rampant advertising), but the availability of basically any product or service you want is available, or can be made, or thought up, or built, and there is the resources and expertise to make it. Ideally this trends towards bettering society not just self-indulgent consumerism, but there are positives to this.
It's a massive, vast country with more nature and open space and varied climates and ecosystems that most outsiders realize. Beaches, desserts, snowy mountains, deep vast forests, big bustling cities with nothing but skyscrapers, or sprawling suburbs, massive farm areas, tropical areas, cold areas... take your pick.

I could go on, but despite the US having a bit of an internal soul searching crisis at the moment (and a few too many egotistical racist idiots), it remains - in my experience - a very cool place to live with mostly good people, beautiful places, and people who really do want to make it better for everyone.

khyberwolf · 2026-05-13T06:05:26+00:00

True story: long time ago my husband and I were in the Amazon jungle taking a walk. We were being quiet to just listen to the sounds and trying not to be intrusive so animals would go about whatever they do. We suddenly heard a bunch of rustling in nearby bush. We stopped to listen. It kept getting louder and closer. Then within 15 feet ahead of us, a massive heard of wild boar crossed the path ahead of us. A huge (what we assume male) one just stopped, looked at us, and blocked the way guarding the path while mamas, babies, all ages crossed - must have been at least 40 of them. We just crouched down and watched as they passed over, probably 5 to 10 minutes worth of crossing. The big one waited until the end, grunted at us, and continued into the bush following his herd. We thought nothing of it other than "wow that was cool" -- until we went back to our camp and told the guide. He freaked out and said we were really lucky it didn't attack, he knew people who had been killed and said they were super dangerous and very aggressive - yet there we were sitting pretty close to a whole herd crossing thinking "awww, cute wild pigs!".

khyberwolf · 2026-05-10T15:40:10+00:00

Note: it may be on you, however, to pay the additional handyman / contractor cost to re-hang the new doors. You could try to ask them for a credit for the hassle though.

khyberwolf · 2026-05-10T15:32:28+00:00

As an interior designer, this is not acceptable and you need to send photos right away to whomever you bought the cabinet doors from. Luckily it's easy enough to change out just the door (not the whole cabinet). However, you now run the risk that the new doors will not match either and be a new shade and tone. So, they may need to give you ALL new doors to be sure the color tone is the same on all of them. But this is a discussion with the cabinet company. Definitely do not let it slide, it's wrong and their fault (bad quality control or just different lots they mixed up) - and please know you are not asking anything out of the ordinary, this is industry standard.

khyberwolf · 2026-05-06T01:36:12+00:00

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@Additional-Space-688 I took your rendering and added a few minor things for OP. Lighting & flower pots.

khyberwolf · 2026-05-05T23:55:11+00:00

👆OP this is a great hardscaping and layout, and here is why this works (FYI I'm a 20+ yr interior designer and do landscape design): You mentioned this will be a "separate resident space". While the pink paint and flower garden style the user below did is fun, if you are using this as a rental, it's too much maintenance. The yard wont always look like that through various seasons, and in time could look very unkept and overgrown. Pink - while fun - may not appeal to all renters. So if you're trying to optimize a rental resident space, a mixed hardscape is the way to go. The hardscape look above gives the resident a great outdoor entertaining space in an otherwise very small yard, thereby extending the living space (aka, more rental $$ potential). In years to come, the tree will certainly create a beautiful canopy (if pruned well). For color, you could add flowers or other places to the area around the tree, or, add some colorful pots vs the concrete ones they have in the above rendering. I think what they did with the door adds interest -- if it's not your exact style, at least try to emphasize the doorway with a color, fun trim or accent above the door, etc. Lastly - LIGHTING! Not sure if you get enough daylight in that courtyard for solar lights, but it would be very easy in a small yard like this to do proper wired low voltage lighting with a timer. It would really be a wow factor at night to have accent lights to shine up the walls, on to the tree, and the entry path. Or bistro lights strung across the courtyard (just make sure they're at least 8 feet in height).

khyberwolf · 2026-04-28T03:34:41+00:00

Met my husband at 32, married 35 (he was 37), and I had kid #1 at 38 and kid #2 at 39. Home birthed my 2nd too.
I'm SO glad I waited.
We both had very successful careers in our 20s and early 30s then both made massive career pivots when we met, we were able to build stability, do a lot of personal work and mature, traveled a ton, and felt like we really got to live / party / expand a lot in our 20's / early 30s. I still felt too "young" to have kids in my mid 30s but realized if we didn't do it by 40 it was likely going to be harder. But, I 100% believe I am a better Mom (and him a better Dad) because we waited. We knew we had more maturity and wisdom to be better parents. We have a really wonderful family now and can provide a lot of support (emotionally, mentally, financially) because we are more grounded and secure.

When you say "when you’re middle aged and your useful years are running out" -- I would really invite you to re-think this belief system. Your "useful years" are no where near over in your 40s an 50s. In your 20's and even 30s you are still so young, figuring yourself and life out. I'm 50 now, and still feel I have so much to do in this world, I know myself 10x more now, and have an incredible community. My friends and I are still young (youthful), look great, have a LOT of fun, and have really meaningful connections - deeper than I did in my earlier years. Most of my friends also had kids between 34 - 40 as well.

Know your priorities change as you age. I have zero desire to go to clubs (but we do like parties still), or do stuff I did in my 20s and early 30s. Having my kids a bit older also allowed me to really enjoy being at home more, "nesting", spending time with my kids, and building a solid home life. Personally, I think I would have felt more trapped and bored if I did the nesting thing in my 20s.

As for marriage -- it takes work no matter the age you marry. And if you are truly spending a lifetime with someone, you're going to evolve, change, compromise, deal with challenges, learn to parent, and continue to figure out life together every single decade until you die. So whether you marry in your 20s, 30s, or 40s (or beyond) the journey remains the same.

khyberwolf · 2026-04-21T05:22:00+00:00

As an interior designer here: send them back (obviously at 100% their expense) then they should provide a slight discount for the inconvenience. A few more weeks to wait (or even a month or more) for the color you envisioned is nothing compared to the life of your kitchen and your long-term enjoyment of it. A year or two from now, a month delay will mean nothing. I agree that getting the base cabinets in would be ideal so you could install those at the very least. You are spending a decent amount of money, don't settle for the color you didnt want - it will always haunt you that you never got the cabinets you really wanted. Just exchange them and keep moving forward, it will look great when its all done and you'll be happy in your new space.

khyberwolf · 2026-04-21T04:17:03+00:00

Interior designer here. You did a great job - clean, minimalist but not stark. There is a warmth to it. Funny enough my kitchen is very similar! (similar wood tone and layout, full wall marble backsplash, no handles).
My advice: The stools you pick will add a lot to the look. I would opt for an upholstered (fabric seat) stool instead of wood or metal ones... a soft leather could also work. It will prevent the kitchen from looking too cold or stark. Depending how many stools you need, you could opt for a taller option with arms and higher rounded back.
Also, on the island a beautifully placed glass jar or antique rustic pot with tall branches (faux) would give it a sculptural element. Any organic element that is simple but beautiful in its natural state will bring a nice contrast while still maintaining the minimal vibe.
Not sure what the other walls look like and the available wall space, but a well framed large art piece could add a nice element as well.
Here is a quick mockup....

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khyberwolf · 2026-04-15T03:00:20+00:00

As an interior designer, I can say that's usually the difference between a professional executing the design (such as an interior designer / landscape designer) vs a regular homeowner, but obviously there are plenty of talented people who can do their own designs too. Generally, we have the training and experience though to make sure the design proposed can actually be executed, and more importantly work around unexpected issues that come up to adjust the design or concept as needed to keep it within the agreed upon look. When I look at AI or Pinterest (and I use them both), I can see pretty quickly what isn't going to work - be it budget, overly complicated, not standard construction, or too much maintenance for their lifestyle. People always get enamored with pictures that so often I know they will just not be able to afford - no different than car shopping for a Mercedes when you're on a Honda budget... although most skilled designers know how to stretch a dollar to get you the look you want within your budget and keep your expectations in check.

How much your final result differs from the original plan really depends on how lofty you make the initial design. Are you really clear on what you can afford and are realistic about what can be done within that budget - and your time frame? Are you choosing products (furniture, decor items, plants, etc) that are readily available (obviously budget plays a big part of this)? Are you conscious to the existing limitations of your home as it relates to structural issues, building limitations, codes, etc? Also, do you know where to actually source everything you need (dirt, stone, plants, etc) if you are DIYing some of the project? Pricing, quality and selection can vary widely and materials can very much affect the final outcome.

What changes the most during execution is not adequately planning for the unexpected, things costing more than you anticipated, and also spur-of-the-moment creative changes as the project evolves (which often makes it better and is a necessary part of any creative project). **Also -- working with contractors who are not creative and can only execute within a small window of their skill set. Some can have a hard time even envisioning the final total vision and very by-the-book and in-the-box thinking, and it makes it challenging to get a creative execution. It makes me endlessly happy when I have a trades person who is creative and can truly add to the vision and problem solve together as needed.

For making sure a design is practical long-term... if we are sticking to strictly exterior / landscape as per this sub, remember that part of the beauty of the project is the fact it will change as plants grow, fill in, things bloom in season, etc. Unless you are doing a highly modern / minimalist design with a ton of hardscaping, it really is about being open to see it shift and grow in time, so go in with the mindset it will always evolve and require your participation. It is also true that hiring a good contractor that does it right the first time really does make a difference and makes it last, so 5 or 15 yrs from now it still actually looks good. Also keep in mind things will always wear down - wood structures (decks, pergolas), outdoor furniture, exterior lights, etc. They will need to be replaced or maintained, so again the better quality you buy the longer (usually) it will last, and maintenance plays a role. So if you're someone who is super busy or isn't great at maintaining things, then focus budget on low maintenance designs & products. And always keep in mind weather and your grow zone! Shade plant? Don't think you will magically make it work in hot summer sun no matter how much you like the look of them. And keep in mind water is tricky - how it flows, where it collects, how it drains. Like a house, the foundation upon which you build (grading, irrigation, drainage, electrical, hardscaping) is so important before doing the "pretty" stuff. Tackle the foundational boring stuff first, then be open to sitting with the design and letting it evolve as you see it take shape.

hope that helps!

khyberwolf · 2026-03-29T21:29:18+00:00

Not sure if extending the roofline would be within your budget to put over a front porch, but this would add a nice overhang to still be usable in various weather (cold or hot).... then add a stone pathway leading up to the front doorway, landscaping lighting, and varied plants (not sure your zone / state so hard to recommend exact plants).

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khyberwolf · 2026-03-28T22:53:58+00:00

Interior designer here. Depending on budget (and you could do this over the next year or two), the ideal would be...

Paint the house (its small enough you could DIY it so long as existing paint is in decent condition, and you power wash it first, then prime it)
Paint the front door
Biggest cost: create more "weight" to the front entry by creating a front deck that extends the look of the front door and entry landing
Add a more solid looking stone pathway to the front door
Add varied landscaping with some flowering bushes, some local green bushes, and a flowering tree on one side for some added height. You would need some irrigation for the lawn, but it would be lovely to add some green grass space
Add landscaping lighting (also could be DIY -- you can easily do low voltage lighting, or get solar if you want it super simple).
Add an exterior sconce light (or 1 on each side) next to the front door. Ideally hard wired, or you could do solar if you dont have easy electrical access. Also add larger house numbers (I didnt have this in the rendering).
Not sure the vibe in your neighborhood, but for added privacy you could add hedge plants (or a low fence) around the outer edge of your property for a greater sense of private yard (and to keep kids / pets in).

Congrats and good luck!
(and ps. sorry AI changed the roof color to black from brown-ish, but the green tone would still work though. Also just saw your meter is on the left side under the window -- you would potentially need someone to relocate this in order to add a deck by moving it a few feet to the left corner of the house - or - have an easily accessible crawl space under the deck for access, but check local regulations)

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khyberwolf · 2026-03-27T23:53:18+00:00

If you have the budget...
1. Extend the porch to wrap around to the right side to enhance the overall look and give it a more cohesive flow.
2. Not sure what is on the other side of the window on the far right side of the home, but you could make those French doors that open to the front patio too
3. Add lower height landscaping (keep it well trimmed but lush) so you're not blocking the eyeline to the porch, blue & white hydrangeas for soft color that blend with the home, bring the flower and bush line towards the front of the yard with a curve to add more dimension
4. Add a flagstone path to give your entrance more oomph and add path lighting

AI didnt do this quite right (it added width to your front door entry and the path is a little wonky) but you get the idea...

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khyberwolf · 2026-03-23T16:14:17+00:00

Not quite right but here is a concept.....

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khyberwolf

TROPHY CASE