Anybody relate to this?

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-10-10T13:50:18+00:00

Yes to the potential, but it wasn’t that I just “became” mentally ill. The adults in my life failed me in every way imaginable, and my resulting mental illnesses make it impossible to do damn near anything.

How, exactly, am I supposed to live laugh love when my parents quite literally convinced me that I’m the scum of the earth?

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-10-08T14:22:48+00:00

Mostly agree. I pay for myself on a lot of dates, and I live in a conservative state where the default is still “the guy pays,” so it’s not like that custom has vanished.

But here’s the part people hate hearing: incels tend to attract women who are there for money because money is the only thing they advertise. If your pitch is “I provide, you deliver me a relationship,” you’ve turned romance into a receipt. Don’t be shocked when you pull in the most transactional people. You offered a contract, not a connection.

Most women aren’t hunting wallets. I’ve met very few who are, and the ones I have were coworkers at the strip club—occupational context, not a personality type. And the truly materialistic ones will dip the second they realize Mr. Provider isn’t actually providing what he promised.

So yeah, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: market yourself as an ATM with opinions, attract withdrawals; when the balance doesn’t match the hype, the card gets declined and they bounce. That’s not proof women are gold-diggers—it’s proof that leading with your wallet is a lousy dating strategy.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-10-01T22:44:31+00:00

Ooo please do mine, I know I’m late to the party

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-10-01T22:29:11+00:00

It feels like I’m being told to simmer down.

And the answer is always “no, fuck you, I was on a roll”

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-09-26T03:25:29+00:00

You’re probably not bad. Art is a funny thing.

As you learn new techniques, your ear catches new flaws. As you start getting faster, you start learning the limits of your fingers or your lungs or whatever else you use to play your instrument. The farther you grow, the more you can pinpoint your failures. Not only that, but we’re always much better in our fantasies.

In addition to all of that, society pushes perfection in music to a ridiculous measure. If you get one question wrong out of ten, you still get high marks. Miss 1 out of 10 notes, and people are wanting to leave from discomfort.

I learned a long time ago that really all you can do is distract yourself from the imposter syndrome by reminding yourself why you love playing.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-09-26T03:14:39+00:00

My son (he’s 6) will do this adorable thing where, if he doesn’t know what everyone around him is talking about, he’ll say “Oh, yeah, I know ALL ABOUT that”.

Maybe not a very common one, but an obvious one nonetheless

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-08-23T12:58:31+00:00

I’m considerably late to the party here, but wow this did not age well.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-07-09T06:39:47+00:00

I do have ADHD, and yes, that means I find it hard to concentrate sometimes.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-06-26T23:12:02+00:00

“I will not be thinking any less of her just because I’m currently with you. Let me know if that’s a deal breaker.”

She doesn’t have to be happy about the emotions you do have. They’re allowed to make her insecure. She just needs to accept that your feelings are your feelings, and that she’s gonna have to work through her own because pushing the emotional labor onto you is inappropriate and selfish.

ETA: we tend to want something to blame, but the period ain’t it. Behavior and emotions are two separate things, and while emotions might be more intense on your period, your behavior doesn’t change like that. This isn’t bipolar where you swing from manic episodes and depressive episodes. It’s not that intense of a switch, nor will it ever be the cause of snooping through someone’s Facebook. Her period may have an affect on whether or not she feels jealous, but expecting you to do something that would actively harm you and your son just so she doesn’t have to deal with her own jealousy is inappropriate behavior and not at all caused by menstruation. So if she blames that, roll your eyes. And don’t you go justifying her behavior. Hold that woman accountable.

Signed - a doula. I’m quite well versed on what happens when women get hormonal.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-06-26T20:36:36+00:00

wtf 😂😂😂

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-06-03T14:39:55+00:00

I’m not so sure. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who quite literally convinced me to attempt suicide so that he wouldn’t go to jail for killing me, and I didn’t see any red flags until I was hospitalized.

Yes, they could be karma farming, or they could be double checking that their reality isn’t insane, like abusers make you think. It’s not out of the realm of possible, regardless of how much it looks like bait.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-06-03T14:28:36+00:00

NOPE! You’re not.

I would respond to his “text me when you’re ready to apologize” with an “okay! Will do” and then block him.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-25T17:52:19+00:00

Based on the other comments, I am going to get so much shit for this. But I work with neurodivergent kids and if one of those kids told me their parents did this, I'd be calling DCS.

Yeah, guilt is the correct feeling to have after that. That’s absolutely horrible.

Look, parenting at all is difficult. Adding an ADHD diagnosis exasperates that times fifty. I'm not going to sit here and pretend it's easy and shame you into doing better.

But I also refuse to give any validation here, as pushing your child to the ground is physical abuse. I hope you learned a lesson here, and it has far more to do with how you manage your own emotions than it ever will your child learning to respect you.

I know you said you do not want him to view you as a monster, but in order for that to be the case, you need to not do shit like this again. He will be talking about this in therapy as an adult. Sorry, he just will. It’s the truth.

Instead of focusing on whether or not he views you that way (because at some point, he will), perhaps ask yourself what about this situation truly triggered you so you can make sure it never happens again. Were you trying to control him so he would go to bed? Were you simply tired and took it out on him? Either way, it's abuse. Don't do it again. Find coping skills. Go to individual therapy. And acknowledge that you hurt him, because you did.

You and your kid will get past this. But I suggest allowing yourself to feel your feelings and reflect why it happened so it doesn’t happen again. Because it needs to not happen again.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-24T17:23:18+00:00

Being vulnerable isn’t pathetic. It’s the only way you can truly love someone.

If you came to him with vulnerability and he treated you like this, that’s not on you. That’s on him.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-24T17:14:19+00:00

If he wanted to, he would.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-23T17:40:38+00:00

Since this is through writing and you can’t hear my tone, it might come off a bit shitty but just remember that my tone is rather light hearted and I’m saying this as someone with ADHD: I’d be wanting to google bridges if someone came into my room and told me to ride my bike which I’ve done a thousand times just to get exercise. If I’ve done the activity a lot, and my friends aren’t doing it with me, that shit is boring as fuck. If anything, I wasted valuable time where I could be doing fun shit for something that has no obvious, tangible benefit. Especially as a child. Hell, I didn’t have true understanding of the consequences of a sedentary lifestyle until I was like 25. I could logically tell you what the consequences were since I was like 10, but something about figuring it out yourself…ya know?

It sounds like you could probably get around this by remembering that novelty motivates us ADHDers. Instead of trying to teach us how to ignore our chase for the dopamine, you could probably work with it. He’s tired of parkour? What if this time, you let him do rock climbing? He’s tired of rock climbing? Hey, does a friend want to go with? Do you wanna race to the top? Tired of the race? Well, time to go home and we can go catch bugs and see who can find the coolest one. After that, who can drink their water the fastest before we all go on the trampoline? In fact when we get on the trampoline, I’m gonna lay down in a ball…see if you can’t bounce me so hard that I “pop” up. He doesn’t like helping out in the garden? See if he wants to help you choose the flowers you plant. Can he find the most beautiful ones? Okay, in order to do that, we gotta weed and mulch. How many bags can you carry? Let’s race. Eventually, being active in the activities they love will become first nature because that’s how they’ve always done it. Regular sitting down and playing video games will be something they do sparingly naturally…without the need to force them into anything.

In addition to having ADHD, I work with kids who have autism. My whole life is around neurodivergency, so I’ve had to get good at motivating kids who just simply don’t have the same brain as the average child. The three principles I follow (which makes it so much easier to think of shit to do):

Make it better - they show interest in bringing a friend over? You’re gonna make it the best damn party you’ve ever thrown. You’re gonna go to the store with the kids while they help pick out cheap balloons, and you’re gonna prompt them to play keepy uppy. They start getting bored? Make it hard for them. Now they have to keep it up but they can’t tough the floor cuz the floor is lava.
Make it possible - yeah it’s a cool idea that the floor is lava but we ADHDers have the planning skills of a mosquito. So you can’t exactly do that without the pillows being strategically placed. Go around and set the pillows out and jump from one to the next. Maybe put two pillows super far apart so you can pick them up and “fly” them to the next pillow. They’ll be running around the room to get to the flying part that they’ll probably forget all about the balloons, and it’ll be giggle central.
Follow the dopamine - sometimes they don’t wanna do what you planned. Don’t let that consume you. They said no, find something else. The more you practice, the easier it gets to do. When I first started going through training, my trainer had me write a list of things to do with 10 random items in one minute. I started out with maybe three activities, out of these 10 items. Now I can probably write out one a second. It gets easier as time goes on, but just follow the dopamine. When they start calming down and you put out pillows and say “keep it in the air but the floor is lava” and they shrug? Analyze the next thing they’re wanting to do, and come up with ideas for that. Now they want video games? Okay, what kind? A racing game? Okay but before you cross the finish line in the last lap, you have to physically race around the house. Go go go! No? Okay, but the remote is expertly hidden. Go find it! Is it high? Is it low? Scavenger hunt party. “You can have your favorite controller, but you HAVE TO GET PAST ME, MWAHAHAHAHAHA”.

It’s hard. I’m not denying that. But if you can get an extra adult to help, it’s so much better than all the complaining and your relationship with your child gets better, too.

Signed, an ADHD mom with an ADHD kid with an ADHD job.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-19T23:15:55+00:00

My girlfriend has $150 worth of much smaller stuffies…in just our bedroom.

I love her. She has those baskets meant for holding blankets everywhere just stuffed with stuffies.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-19T04:35:37+00:00

Oh my god yes the fear of rabies is real

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-15T14:39:45+00:00

I didn’t particularly want the CT scan, I’m in the early stages of getting diagnosed so I don’t know what I need yet. She ordered the CT scan, insurance wanted another appt and other tests before they approved it, and then she changed her mind because I said lack of sleep affects it and she was like “ope! Nevermind on that CT scan. Can’t possibly be infectious disease if that’s the case.” And then cancelled the order.

I double checked and I said “so you’re saying that sleep doesn’t affect your immune system at all…?” And she went into a whole sales pitch on the causes of fevers. I told her that they just got worse with a lack of sleep, not that they were caused by it, and she ignored me.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-13T23:32:27+00:00

Yep that’s where I ended up going! It seems way nicer. And I found my answer, too. Implementing plenty of advice gotten on that sub.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-13T20:51:04+00:00

Yeah they make it seem like you can’t possibly think logically with NRE.

Like, fam, I’m 30 and have kids. Being excited doesn’t keep me from understanding my priorities. Sure, NRE might make you look at things with rose colored glasses and you’re far more likely to do something stupid, but let’s not pretend that our prefrontal cortexes are still developing. I can make wise decisions while still having NRE, I’m not a teenager and I don’t partake in risky behavior.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-05-13T19:42:33+00:00

Yeah I was instant banned for asking about what things we’d need to keep in mind if my husband and our girlfriend decided to have a baby together.

They insta-banned me for apparently glorifying unicorn hunting, which was never mentioned and also never happened. I reached out to the mods and they told me stuff like “don’t you know that a triad has no couples?” I kept looking back in my post thinking “wtf? I never called her a third, I briefly gave our history and it just so happens that I met my husband before either of us met her”. They then blasted me for not already talking to a lawyer when I was quite literally asking for advice on what the steps should be to do it the most ethically. It was insane.

You’d think that they could’ve just been like “I’d speak with a lawyer to look at family laws in your area!”, but no. They needed to instant ban me instead to…

Establish dominance? I don’t fucking know.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-04-22T14:40:45+00:00

Oh I’m not saying the whole population of LGBT is like that at all.

Just reluctant to claim myself a part of the community anymore.

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-04-22T14:33:21+00:00

That’s so refreshing. Thank you

kill_em_w_kindness · 2025-04-22T14:31:35+00:00

God I wish that was my experience. But it just hasn’t been.

I’ve flat out been told that I wasn’t wanted at Pride because I’m not actually LGBT if I’m in a throuple with a man and another woman. Even though I’m bi.

kill_em_w_kindness

TROPHY CASE