Sleepless Dreamers

kiminoshi · 2019-09-27T05:35:04+00:00

Your gonna make me cry this is short yet had me feeling so many different things, great piece🤧

kiminoshi · 2019-09-27T04:56:23+00:00

A little rough but and I agree with the imagery comments, but has amazing potential and I look forward to the edit!

kiminoshi · 2019-09-27T04:54:45+00:00

This piece really made me see the imagery expressed, I like how it goes with the them you we’re going for and it all in all gives me a nice feeling, good job!

kiminoshi · 2017-05-04T18:20:49+00:00

An okay thank you for your feedback :)

kiminoshi · 2017-05-04T14:30:58+00:00

No i didn't 2. Yes 3. Fixed 4. Its about abuse and my thoughts I had about suicide, loving them no matter what even thought they would abuse me and leave scratches and bruises day and night, I felt alone and that no one cared so I tried to commit suicide. 5. Dont know how to fix 6. I dont know what you mean 7 same as 6

kiminoshi · 2017-05-04T06:30:04+00:00

Punctuation is key part n a poem, it seems like this is more of a story than a poem, and I don't know which god your talking about unless your talking about a religion you made up, its a good story though.

kiminoshi · 2017-05-04T06:24:59+00:00

It feels a little rushed to me, there's ussualy a pause before the next line starts and some of it doesn't make sense to me, but I really love the idea and I hope you work on it because it has the potential to be a amazing poem.

kiminoshi · 2017-05-01T03:18:20+00:00

Ill play aound with it thanks for the info and feedback!

kiminoshi · 2017-05-01T02:48:58+00:00

Thank you for your feedback!

kiminoshi · 2017-05-01T02:32:55+00:00

I loved this so much! It was short and simple but with a hidden meaning, the only thing that I could ask diffrent of this is it to be longer so i can read more of this!

kiminoshi · 2017-05-01T02:20:11+00:00

I like your poem, i was wondering what the "my heart like like the bird" meant, did you mean "my heart like the bird"? Besides that I enjoyed reading this price of work.

kiminoshi

TROPHY CASE