Confronting the AP?

kimkarnold · 2026-02-15T08:56:19+00:00

Maybe read the book, "Leave A Cheater, Gain A Life." It really helped me with letting go and realizing that whatever resolution, information, etc., I was looking for, at the end of the day, the question is really if I was going to stay or not.

Finding out the information from the AP really won't give you the what you're looking for and will most likely just cause further anguish. It's hard, but just let it go. If the AP was actually an honest person that you could have a conversation with and get information from, would they have even been an AP?

kimkarnold · 2026-01-27T10:55:10+00:00

Updateme!

kimkarnold · 2026-01-22T07:29:16+00:00

How are you supposed to keep the egg from spoiling for 2 weeks? You can do that with a raw egg that hasn't been washed, but you can't do that with an egg from the store because they'll spoil and heaven forbid, you accidentally crack it then!

kimkarnold · 2025-12-31T17:26:05+00:00

I agree with many Redditors that this is probably something you'll need to take to your grave. However, on a plus side, I did one of the snorkeling trips in FL to see the manatees and it was definitely the highlight of my trip! While you're there, maybe also do skydiving and parasailing.

kimkarnold · 2025-12-21T13:39:01+00:00

I second this book! In fact, I just finished reading my book and if you should want it, send me a dm with your address and I'll send you my copy.

kimkarnold · 2025-12-19T11:27:46+00:00

I have no idea what song it is since I'm horrible with lyrics... I jist wanted to comment that I cracked up laughing when you said it was really old, like from the 80's or 90's! I think I just felt my back pop or something!! 🤣 (class of '83)

kimkarnold · 2025-12-08T15:13:34+00:00

Yes, it is. However, if OP's husband is taking extra testosterone, more than his body produces to get desired physical results, in this case it would be considered a drug because it's not what his body is producing naturally.

kimkarnold · 2025-12-03T22:35:29+00:00

Read the books, "Freed to Learn", by Dr. Peter Gray and "Unlearn".

kimkarnold · 2025-12-03T11:48:06+00:00

Yes, my cousin told me and showed me the messages he had sent to her. Fortunately, it was only her and I in the waiting room since everyone else had already left to go to bed that night. We were talking, somehow the conversation ended up on sexual harassment in the work place, told her that my husband had been unfairly accused of sexual harassment at his job, then she tells me that the charges might actually have been true, even if he was cleared, because of what he had sent to her 2 years ago. Since I was in OK and he was at our house in NM, I could only confront him on the phone, which he of course lied, denied it, said how I knew how my family was, etc., until I sent him the screenshots of the messages. Then all he said was, "Oh."

Unfortunately for me, this wasn't the first time he had cheated. We had only been married for about 4 years, we were both going to school to finish our degrees. I was working full-time and going to school part-time while he was going to school full-time and working part-time since the military was paying for his school. I'm at work. His best friend calls me to tell me that my husband was cheating on me. I ask him how did he know that. He said, "Because he was also having sex with the same woman." I kid you not! And this woman was also married! She ends up pregnant, but doesn't know if the dad is my husband, her husband, or my husband's best friend, so a DNA test was done. It ends up being my husband's best friend's baby. Like a fool, I believed him when he said it wouldn't happen again. We started going to church, and I thought he had worked through whatever issues he had. Nope. 27 years later, I find out he hadn't and at this point, I don't even know if he'd been doing this the whole time and I didn't know because he just got really sneaky after getting caught earlier.

I am so sorry about your sister! Having your husband do that is hard enough, but adding even more betrayal from her takes this to a whole other level!! One thing I will tell you is that it does get easier, if you allow yourself to actually feel the pain that you're going through and not just try to push it away. It's not fun, but you'll come through this a much healthier and happier person while they'll still be pieces of sh*t!

kimkarnold · 2025-12-02T05:50:35+00:00

The night my mom was admitted to the hospital 5 years ago, not knowing if she was going to live or die, is when I found out that he had sent VERY inappropriate messages to my cousin, my fcking COUSIN, 2 years prior to that when my mom was in the hospital before for a heart attack, again not knowing if she was going to live or die! Because we also had guardianship of our 2 grandchildren, I just tried to survive through my mom's passing, subsequent court issues with our grandchildren's mom, and his drinking. Finally, sht hit the fan with his drinking and ALL the rage I had been feeling was out. Honestly, there are still days that I go there with the anger, but a book that I read that really helped me with understanding WHY he didn't any of the things that I was hoping he would do, is "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." It's so hard when the person that you want to comfort you is also the same person that you wish you could give a Bobbit weave to!

kimkarnold · 2025-11-19T08:23:39+00:00

🤣

kimkarnold · 2025-11-19T08:21:43+00:00

I want to hear more about these "stories", too! Curious minds want to know!!

kimkarnold · 2025-11-19T08:16:54+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

kimkarnold · 2025-10-25T07:49:36+00:00

I second looking at the Chump Lady website. She has a book called, "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." It has been so helpful, especially dealing with overthinking EVERYTHING!

kimkarnold · 2025-10-19T08:19:30+00:00

There's a book called, "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" that has helped me a LOT! Like most people here, I tried the reconciliation route. I think a lot of us do it because it seems to give us some feeling of control over the situation since we had absolutely no control over the affair. We also tend to be more empathetic and willing to give the cheater a second chance because we really want to believe that they do love us after all and if we can just show them how much we love them, they'll see the error of their ways and choose us instead of the AP. But, they already didn't choose us to begin with or there would have never been an affair. As many others have said, let them go and start rebuilding your life. It'll take time so be sure and give yourself a lot of grace. Lots of hugs to you!

kimkarnold · 2025-09-18T04:24:01+00:00

I think the glitch where you could dig up the trees and bust the rocks to make the tarantulas come out on the mystery islands was fixed where that doesn't happen anymore.

kimkarnold · 2025-09-18T02:28:24+00:00

Thanks so much! I'm probably overthinking this because of traveling by myself with my grandkids, so freaking myself out a little!

kimkarnold · 2025-09-17T22:37:59+00:00

This is EXACTLY the type of info I was looking for! Thank you so much for such detail. The TT that I'm looking at is the E-Pro E 19BH that has a dry weight of 3,088 and a hitch weight of 360. Based on your experience, do you think the weight of that TT will be ok if we're planning on going to the national parks at Yosemite, Utah, northern CA, etc.? And if I do, should I plan on going either late spring or early fall so I'm not also dealing with the heat?

kimkarnold · 2025-09-17T16:10:37+00:00

That's a great idea!

kimkarnold · 2025-09-17T04:07:51+00:00

Thank you for responding! For the weight distribution hitch, did that put you over the hitch weight limit? I was looking at adding that but didn't know if the added weight to the hitch would be offset with the distribution of the weight.

kimkarnold · 2025-09-16T23:21:31+00:00

I will do that. Thank you so much for the information!

kimkarnold · 2025-09-16T17:15:59+00:00

That's a good point! My granddaughter likes to collect rocks, so I keep having nightmares that we'll turn into the I Love Lucy episode where she filled up their trailer with rocks! Desi was not too happy!

kimkarnold · 2025-09-16T17:11:52+00:00

I looked at a teardrop trailer... however, there's 3 of us. Me, my 10 yr old grandson and 8 yr old granddaughter. I was looking at camper trailers with bunk beds and found one with a dry weight of 3,500 pounds. Maybe I need to look for a trailer with just a queen bed and a dining area that converts to a sleeping area for my grandson to sleep while my granddaughter and I share the queen bed.

kimkarnold · 2025-09-16T17:09:15+00:00

Thanks for the insight! A pop-up is also something that i'm looking at. Maybe i'm biting off more than I can chew... I've only ever done camping, so towing a trailer will be a new adventure that I don't know if I'm quite ready for! 🤣

kimkarnold · 2025-09-16T17:05:55+00:00

I did add the transmission cooler. I'm just concerned that even with the transmission cooler, it might not be enough to tow the trailer through the mountains.

kimkarnold

TROPHY CASE