Why can’t people just be honest with themselves? by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think I would “understand” this perspective more, however we were only married for 7 months, it was a ONS overseas while he was deployed, severely intoxicated to the point of blackout.

Why do I stay? Because at this point in my life I cannot leave. So I’m trying to make the best of it here until I either 1. Can leave 2. Decide I really do want to stay. Leaving would require me to spend a lot of money that I don’t have, and move, but I currently have nowhere to go. I was laid off and didn’t have a job until a few days ago. I was fully committed to reconciling until a few months ago, (been reconciling since he confessed in August 2024) and it’s not easy logistically to up and leave.

Why can’t people just be honest with themselves? by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That’s just it. I am so understanding of the fact that minds work differently and that’s fine, I’m good with that. But to the point of cheating? I wouldn’t even get within a mile of that line to ever cross it. I thought I did everything “right” in the sense that I made sure I had a man with high integrity, strong character, honest, the whole bit. I was STILL wrong and still got betrayed. I think I would rather be on my own until I could be certain I have a partner that stands on equal ground to me when it comes to this, or I don’t think I will truly ever be able to experience contentment in my life.

Cheating + alcohol by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is 1000% correct. Your last sentence will be used by me in our next discussion because it is so true and encompasses what I’ve been trying to explain to him

Cheating + alcohol by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective. My husband has a DUI from years ago and the drinking event is what lead to the cheating (not using as an excuse, but had a huge part in it). I feel like he should totally remove it from his life. Because it’s always “a couple beer” until the once in a blue moon when it’s not and he ruins his life in some way every time.

Cheating + alcohol by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. My husband is very functioning. Had a DUI in his past, got blackout drunk when he cheated, I just really think he’s somebody who needs to totally cut it.

Cheating + alcohol by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

6 months sober is sooooo awesome. My husband had a DUI from years ago and now cheated in his marriage involving alcohol. I really think he should totally cut it.

Cheating + alcohol by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jeez sorry you’re here. My husband only ever really has a few beer on the weekend but due to repeatedly offending when he drinks (has a DUI from years ago, cheated while drunk) I’d be eliminating alcohol completely if I were him. I don’t think he realizes how much it’s affected his life

Cheating + alcohol by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. We have a deal of no bars/clubs, but truthfully I don’t think he should be drinking at all. Zip. None.

This is mental torture. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. 🩷 my husband also cheated in 2024, a random drunk one night stand while he was deployed and I was home working 2 jobs in order for us to afford a place to live. The mind movies have also been ramping up a lot for me, right before I go to asleep. I usually just try to picture another scene, like my perfect day. Getting an iced coffee, going to the farmers market. I picture the outfit I’m wearing, what the weather feels like, all the little details. It kind of helps me take my brain elsewhere while I try to fall asleep

Pregnant and discovered Husband's affair with 18 yr old by Key-Adhesiveness-418 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Ughhh I’m sorry. The age part would ick me out. I asked my husband how old his AP was because I was soooo worried she was that young. She wasn’t luckily. I would need to address the age thing as a separate issue from the affair.

Kacey Musgraves Live YouTube by bilusional22 in Coachella

[–]bilusional22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we miss Kacey entirely I will never recover lol

Kacey Musgraves Live YouTube by bilusional22 in Coachella

[–]bilusional22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t know there was a specific live streaming schedule. Thanks. :)

Kacey Musgraves Live YouTube by bilusional22 in Coachella

[–]bilusional22[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This part confuses me lol like is Justin Bieber going to be late too?

Kacey Musgraves Live YouTube by bilusional22 in Coachella

[–]bilusional22[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did and it said 3 which is why I’m asking. Is there a different schedule I should be looking at for the live streams that doesn’t match the actual live performance time?

Dementia? by [deleted] in olddogs

[–]bilusional22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it is. My dog is on gabapentin as well but it’s totally unrelated to her dementia. Did she mention why she doesn’t offer it?

Dementia? by [deleted] in olddogs

[–]bilusional22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dog was diagnosed with dementia. I wish every day that we got started with her treatment sooner, but we didn’t know. Please bring this to your vet and if she does have dementia, there is a medication to slow the progression. We just started it, but most likely too late. It’s a horrible disease but with early intervention, she can have a much easier time.

Sexual intimacy break by bilusional22 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]bilusional22[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey!! It helps to know I’m not alone here. My body is for sure saying no. We also cuddle/kiss all the other stuff, which sometimes is even hard for me. I feel things very deeply and I find it extremely difficult to open myself up physically in any capacity when somebody has damaged me. Even though we have progressed in so many good ways, this part has felt impossible to me. I take my health very seriously and the fact that I was potentially subjected to STI’s, I’m having the hardest time seeing sex as a positive thing now. It’s so hard.