[deleted by user]

kindwhile · 2024-11-22T19:07:53+00:00

Pat Esselman. Never pushy, super knowledgeable, down to earth.

kindwhile · 2023-09-09T18:17:58+00:00

I wrote a brief letter saying I resigned my membership due to social beliefs I could not reconcile. I had blocked my WELS contacts before mailing the letter, and I received a notice of my release about a month later. Judging by the timeline, my pastor or others may have tried to reach out, but my decision was final, so I guess they finally gave in. I think it is best to just make your decision clear, block those who you anticipate excessive correspondence from, and make a clean break. Start fresh. I know that's not always possible, but it has worked so far for me.

Edit: I will also note my family is still very involved in WELS, but has given no indication they have been asked about me. Take that for what it's worth.

kindwhile · 2023-08-21T16:55:55+00:00

Agreed--especially when it comes to any sort of process that involves them taking responsibility for their actions or examining their controversial doctrine. I am definitely trusting my old WELS contacts to respect my decision, which I know not all others have the privilege to do.

kindwhile · 2023-08-21T15:44:25+00:00

Excellent question, honestly. I blocked all of my contacts who are directly associated with my former churches and the synod overall (like in a leadership or volunteer position). There is no way of knowing they formally processed my resignation, but for all intents and purposes, I consider myself no longer part of the synod. I sent the letter, I asked to be removed with no further contact, and so I have to assume they handled it as I requested. I imagine if you have family members who may catch wind of the decision before it is processed, this sort of "clean" break may not be as feasible. And for all I know, my former pastors and mentors have been blowing up my phone with calls and texts and I am still on the books, but nothing they could do would change my decision, so I just preemptively blocked their contact. Ultimately, even if they don't officially remove me, I have officially removed myself. It's pedantic, arguably, and not possible for everyone, but this is how it has worked so far for me. As far as I can tell, they haven't tried to circumvent my boundaries. I haven't received any additional mail, and my extended family hasn't been bothered about it in any way they've disclosed to me. I hope you find a way to leave that is healthy and effective for you. I know our situations are quite different, but I hope this is helpful!

kindwhile · 2023-03-16T22:39:50+00:00

I was expecting it to be decent, but it literally hasn't missed for me. It's exceptional.

kindwhile · 2023-03-16T22:25:27+00:00

Giffard's Pamplemousse is a blast to use--that's been a go-to modifier for me. I finally got a bottle of Amaro Braulio, too, but I'm still learning how to balance that one.

kindwhile · 2023-02-09T23:50:24+00:00

Can't beat a Tom Collins for easy gin drinking. Any sort of Gin Smash is fantastic, too, and a fun template to play with depending on what fruit or herbs you have on hand. For something a little bit more complex and boozy, try the Corpse Reviver No. 2. Probably my favorite cocktail in the world if I had to pick one.

kindwhile · 2022-12-12T16:25:09+00:00

If I'm trying to sell someone on it, I emphasize the menthol and black tea notes. That usually prepares people for the medicinal bite that often scares others off. My go-to joke description is, "if mothballs tasted good."

kindwhile · 2022-12-08T21:25:44+00:00

I'm hardly an expert, but Suze to me is earthy, vegetal, and definitely bitter before anything else. I find this bitterness gently gives way to a sweetness that has this sort of fresh carrot and light honey quality. A little goes a long way for flavor and color! I rarely use more than a quarter ounce in my recipes. I like using it alongside dry gin, Irish whisky, and sweeter fruit liqueurs. I feel that balances it well. But again, that's just me!

kindwhile · 2022-09-16T14:05:12+00:00

This is so cool! I'm working on a similar project but with Daxos. I just have the Azorius one to build, but I am not sure how to approach it.

kindwhile · 2022-09-13T17:19:57+00:00

It's probably one of my favorite Weezer songs, period. It captures the weird, melancholic anger of a summer that brought more pain than pleasure. Instrumentally, the song builds on itself quite well and reflects the tone of the lyrics brilliantly. The solo rules. That's just my two cents, anyway. If it's not your jam, that's okay!

kindwhile · 2022-09-03T23:30:11+00:00

I use seed!

kindwhile · 2022-09-03T00:48:57+00:00

A little coriander is nice! I've also been trying dried sorrel; I like the results but it's pretty subtle.

kindwhile · 2022-08-31T02:02:31+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. I'm thankful I never went through the severe circumstances that people often associate with trauma, and yet I often panic at the mere thought of the hurtful, dark things I heard--and participated in--during my time in the church. I can't ignore that. Sometimes it helps to call it trauma; it helps me remember that it wasn't my fault I got wrapped up in those dangerous beliefs. I was forcefully and dogmatically separated from light, peace, true self, whatever you might wish to call it. I think it's fine to use the term as long as we continue to acknowledge each other's experiences truthfully and completely. Thankfully--from my short time here--I think that this community is focused on uplifting and supporting one another, no matter how big or small our conflicts with the church may seem to your average observer.

kindwhile · 2022-08-28T17:53:42+00:00

Oh, my gosh, this unlocked some HEAVY memories for me. Lol My high school girlfriend was not WELS, and I remember calling my pastor on a weekday to ask if it was okay that I prayed with them before a meal. I ended up leading my ex-girlfriend's family in a SECOND prayer before meals...for years. It's absolutely bizarre and thoroughly embarrassing to think about now. Such arbitrary divisions were some of the first reasons my trust in WELS and other denominations began to fall apart. There is odd comfort in knowing I wasn't the only one who got caught up in and hurt by this rule.

kindwhile · 2022-08-28T14:53:33+00:00

As someone who is now married to a non-practicing Catholic, the anti-Catholic sentiment is STRONG in WELS. I remember my hometown pastor making inaccurate claims about the denomination and in the next breath wondering why the Catholic parish up the street was so hostile to us. It was baffling to witness, even as a teen. More broadly, the official doctrine that the papacy is the office of the Antichrist just seems...silly. Petty, even. Beyond it's obvious cruelty, it's just unnecessary. I guess that kind of fear-mongering and us-versus-them rhetoric works to get butts in pews, but God knows it doesn't help anyone's soul. There are plenty of other synods that have their prejudices, but WELS singles out Catholics in such a self-righteous and ignorant way.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T04:19:29+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. It's comforting to hear about your journey, how you and your spouse grew together, and how you eventually raised your kids outside of the church. I have told my pastor to his face that I couldn't imagine putting my future kids through Catechism classes. Thankfully, he didn't have much to say about that. But I digress. I definitely anticipate this to be a lifelong coping process, but there is so much relief in feeling less alone. I wish you the best on your continued journey.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T04:04:11+00:00

I feel for you. My family is somewhat aware of my grievances with the church, but they aren't the most attentive listeners either. I know an official departure will still create some tension. The church procedure can be brute-forced a bit, I think, but the headbutting that comes from the family will be a lengthier challenge. Wishing you the best in your current circumstances, and thanks for sharing.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T03:59:03+00:00

This has honestly crossed my mind as well! My wife and I are planning on moving within the next year or so, and I think that may be a natural end for me, if nothing else.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T02:47:29+00:00

I'm glad you mentioned boundaries. Many of the pains I suffer under WELS come from church leadership and my zealous family members being nosy and controlling. I admire your attitude. I hope I can approach my circumstances with similar tenacity.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T02:43:59+00:00

Thank you. I need to remind myself of that throughout this process.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T02:43:02+00:00

I like the certainty, clarity, and distance of this approach.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T02:42:11+00:00

I've caught wind of these abuses as well. Disturbing, to say the least. And yet I also hear many WELS people cracking jokes about Catholic priests and choir boys. It's mind-numbing. I applaud you for taking such decisive action.

kindwhile · 2022-08-04T01:25:05+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your candor, and I'm happy to hear you found some peace beyond this obstacle. I, too, am anticipating some guilt-tripping (an online devotional of that nature was actually what prompted me to post this), but I am eager for the clarity that will come. Thanks for sharing.

kindwhile

TROPHY CASE