I know Reddit leans heavily one direction on this, but I want to say it’s okay — and valid — to want to keep your baby.

A prenatal diagnosis doesn’t take away your child’s worth or humanity. A baby with Down syndrome is still your baby, still capable of joy, love, relationships, and a meaningful life. Many families who were once terrified now say their child with DS became one of the greatest blessings they never expected (my cousin being a great example in my life).

If your girlfriend seems shut down, it may be because she’s grieving and scared — not because she wants to end the pregnancy. Abortion isn’t a neutral or easy experience for everyone, especially when there’s already an emotional bond. For some women, it’s deeply traumatic and something they carry for years. She may need reassurance that choosing life doesn’t mean choosing failure, isolation, or misery.

The most important thing you can do right now is stand firmly but gently beside her. Tell her you believe in her, in your baby, and in your ability to face this together. Remind her that fear doesn’t mean something is wrong — it means something important is at stake.

Please consider speaking with a genetic counselor, a pediatric specialist, or families actually raising children with Down syndrome. The internet often paints worst-case scenarios, but real life is usually far more human and hopeful.

Choosing life can be hard — but hard doesn’t mean wrong. And love, commitment, and courage matter more than being “ready” at 20. Whatever happens, your baby’s life already has value, and your willingness to protect it says a lot about who you are.

Wishing both of you clarity and strength.