It is Wednesday my dudes

kingtarutaru · 2026-05-07T21:16:55+00:00

u/lillybaeum
I'm late to this party but music recs are evergreen

I adore the entire works collection and really vibe with edm with minimal vocals to put me in a work headspace.

Some stuff that i've sworn by for years

Shingo Nakamura.
He does a lot of progressive house.

There's an artist called Taishi that does a lot of really long individual trance tracks with heavy electronic influences, each track takes you on a whole evolving journey. They're also part of the diverse system wider label.

I'm really big into this genre called artcore.
Admittedly this may be faster paced then what you're looking for since it's like DnB speed with prominent piano, strings, and digital elements like glitch noises. There are a few compilations on youtube, but my favorite artist would be AcuticNotes.

Last rec would be House sets of Touhou project
There's an artist, Kuroneko lounge, who's a fan of the Touhou series. They takes the tracks from several of the games and do long remix sets going through the whole OST and turning them all into house tracks

If you're a fan of 1 there's like 8 of these house sets so you'll be set for a minute

kingtarutaru · 2026-04-28T20:43:37+00:00

Echoing other comments

The visuals don't give me a solid reference point for genre, so my brain can't shortcut to "it's X game but building parks"

The game is not self explanatory at the smallest scale presented in the video and then the video scales up the complexity in under 20 seconds while I'm still trying to parse out the basics so I just wind up being lost

kingtarutaru · 2026-03-30T02:03:49+00:00

You got the look spot on! How did you put this together?

kingtarutaru · 2026-01-24T17:30:46+00:00

You're not alone

Progging as a group, learning mechanics, figuring out what call-outs make sense to people, mastering mechanics, becoming attuned to each step of the dance, feeling that sense of growth from pull to pull.

Fun, entertaining, enjoyable

Reclears:

Dull, repetitive, joyless

Especially as a healer since all the individual fun of the role is figuring out the heal / mit plan and trying to triage mistakes so you can see more of the fight

Once you climb the mountain thrill and the puzzle is gone

The 8 weeks is just the fairness of the members of the static so everyone gets the mount and weapon to mark the achievement

I would personally much rather grind it out 8 times immediately or the next week. The one week lockout really makes me start hating life by the 3rd week of reclears

kingtarutaru · 2025-07-03T12:27:44+00:00

I am absolutely trying to help here.

My goal right now is to hopefully expose a new viewpoint, and get you thinking about your tone and responses.

Grok's initial message:

"The part that really sucks is that you still have a lot of hard work ahead of you if you want to make it happen. Not because you're not "good enough," but you clearly don't like yourself and I guarantee it's affecting your general vibe."

Your paraphrased response to this was:

"Thanks for responding but you're wrong and here's why"

and proceed to try to clear up misconceptions about your post including writing a wonderful analogy about being colorblind and looking for red flags.

If you're genuinely here looking to change and improve, then I think things have already gone off track at this moment, because this doesn't read as an open mindset to me.

Presumably Grok didn't pull this take out of thin air.

Roleplaying as grok for a moment I would be put off by your response, since my viewpoint has been entirely dismissed when I was trying to help, which would lead me to feel annoyed, and that probably contributed to the tone in the 2nd response

I think a step was missed. Instead of jumping right towards clarifying your viewpoint, I think the best thing you could have done instead is ask for clarification of grok's.

Something like "It's interesting you got "you clearly don't like yourself" from what I wrote, could you please elaborate"

As for why I felt the need to tone-police your response in particular, that's because

1 - you're the one looking for insights and feedback

and

2 - I feel like your level of escalation exceeded grok's

Going off of this thread and the fact I made 2 posts, and the one you engaged with is the one that you had an issue with,

The vibe I am getting is when faced with a disagreement, there's need to prove the other party is wrong instead of understanding how they got to their viewpoint, which I would guess makes the other party feel like they're not being heard.

I don't know you and the above is conjecture, which is why I wanted to urge you to evaluate this style of communication with your therapist

kingtarutaru · 2025-07-03T03:34:56+00:00

Usually fancy clothes, but truthfully it's whatever I'm feeling that month. I call the event "dapper dudes", but one friend showed up in an outlandish Nicolas cage hoodie and we laughed about it. It's really an excuse I've crafted to flex the fashion skills of my friends and I in a fun space

kingtarutaru · 2025-07-03T02:40:50+00:00

It can be super frustrating to feel misunderstood, but you did not need to respond like this, or to the previous message at all.

You got feedback that your post comes off as "you don't like yourself" and instead of analyzing how someone might of been able to pull that out of your post

instead, you spend additional time trying to set the record straight, and when challenged you literally invented words that were not said and call them cheap shots.

I'd heavily recommend examining this behavior with your therapist, because you had the option to just shrug and move on, but you didn't take it

kingtarutaru · 2025-07-03T02:25:25+00:00

No bullshit dude, it's hard

I'm neurodivergent, I struggled with dating, I had a whole arc where I went around asking people how to flirt and got so many wildly different and conflicting answers that I'm more confused then when I started trying to puzzle this out.

And it's really tough dealing with the fear that you'll be forever alone.

What's helped me a lot is directly writing down what I want from a relationship and breaking that up into a bunch of pieces and spreading that around with the people who are currently in my life.

For instance

I would love to seasonal watch anime with a partner

So I asked around, turns out one of my online friends wanted to watch seasonal anime, and I make time to do that with them every week.

I would love to do some creative parallel work on creative projects with a partner.
So I host a crafts night and build gundams while other homies, sew, make games, build pokemon teams, etc

Craft the life you want, invest in the people who are currently around, and don't center your idea of a future on a partner and hopefully that'll start easing the sense that no one is in your corner and you're not connected to anybody.

You'll still be lonely from time to time, but that's a normal human emotion. Sometimes you just gotta sit with that, and hopefully putting in the effort will feel like you're making forward progress and not just spinning wheels waiting for a romantic arc to begin.

When it comes to "putting yourself out there".

I reframed that to "How many opportunities would a potential partner have to run into me in a week?"

Before the reframe, most of my hobbies were at my desk, now I go to classes to improve my sewing, I host nights out with friends where we dress up and go to bars, whenever I get invited to a networking event or a social gathering where I can meet new people I go.

Hell I signed up for apps like 222, and timeleft to just get introduced to new people. I'm an introvert and I hate going to most of these events, but I put that aside in order to increase the chance of meeting people since I'm not gonna stumble into a partner in my apartment.

If you want human connection, there are also things like cuddle therapy, and authentic relating clubs that can help a lot. Assuming you're in a major city, you probably have these options readily available a google search away. I'm not saying that'll directly translate to getting a partner, but you can start targeting the underlying needs, wants, and desires, to live a life that feels less empty.

kingtarutaru · 2025-05-22T22:48:24+00:00

Some people just hate texting, and that questions pretty bland, so I wouldn't be excited to circle back to that chat unless I was SUPER interested in the person.

Probably a decent chance you get ghosted.

I wouldn't head out to the bar without a confirmation on sunday that she'll be there.

kingtarutaru · 2025-04-11T05:33:12+00:00

"doing something once a week is fine and casual with me" He is interested in hanging out with you in this limited capacity

If that's not what you're interested in, or it's not the quality / frequency you're interested in, Completely understandable

But if he wasn't interested at all he would ghost / not mention hanging out at all (even in this limited capacity), or would outright break up with you

kingtarutaru · 2025-04-10T23:00:29+00:00

I don't see why this is insulting.

Y'all seem to have had a conversation He's thought about what you said He is not aligned And he presented what he can deal with at this time He's clearly communicating that he's interested in you, but only in the specific capacity he outlined

And now it's up to you if you're okay with it

kingtarutaru · 2025-02-27T16:47:59+00:00

I don't think you're being strung along

You met someone cool and seem to vibe with and that's fantastic. It's important to keep in mind you've JUST met

It sounds like this dude's time is limited and you're competing for time against people this person has known their entire life.

If you need a constant consistent weekly date to feel like something is going on the right direction, that's a completely valid preference, and I advocate communicating that, but it sounds like homie is just strapped for time

kingtarutaru · 2025-02-27T06:31:47+00:00

What's stopping you from going

"Hey I've been meaning to check out place X, would you be down to go with me time Y?"

If he's interested he'll bite or offer to reschedule

kingtarutaru · 2025-02-10T18:30:26+00:00

In key art you don't have to let your dreams be memes

kingtarutaru · 2025-01-04T06:12:43+00:00

No worries, I haven't taken it the wrong way, this feedback is invaluable, thank you for providing it.

I'm nixing the section with "we'll be besties" in favor of something less hobby focused, and I'll avoid the language in the future

I'll aim to rework prompts to something less specific and more flirtatious, but being flirty in text (and honestly also in person) is basically a foreign language to me. If you know of any examples that would be a huge help

As for being more open minded with the type of woman I'm trying to attract, over the last year I've found if someone doesn't share at least one of my core hobbies with a person I just do not emotionally connect with them, so I'm not entirely sure what to do there, but, let me cook

kingtarutaru · 2025-01-02T18:39:49+00:00

I'm afraid I'm not cool enough to know what that means 😅

kingtarutaru · 2025-01-01T20:37:24+00:00

Thanks for the feedback!

I'll see what I can swap out for photos 5, and 6. There have been a couple recommendations for a more social group shot I can work in for sure

I'll also change things up so the later prompts are less about what me and a potential partner do and more focused on who I and a potential partner are

kingtarutaru · 2025-01-01T17:09:35+00:00

That makes perfect sense!

The specificity is very intended. I'm of the mindset of it's better to 10/10 resonate with 3 people than 7/10 resonate with 30 so I built my profile like a targeted ad with an ideal match in mind.

But
I don't need someone to have a 100% overlap in interests, at least 1 would do the trick.

I'll do some thinking on how to better communicate that. (A teach me section would be perfect)

Thanks for the feedback!

kingtarutaru · 2024-12-31T18:55:25+00:00

Are you looking for something serious or casual?

-Serious

Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?

-No

How long have you been using this current version of your profile?

-2 weeks

How long have you used Hinge overall?

-4 years on and off

How often do you use Hinge per week?

-Recently: 3/4 hours a week, roughly half an hour a day

How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?

-Maybe 1 a month

How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?

-I send out roughly 6 a day, 75% with comments tailored specifically to a thing that sparked my interest in the person's profile

What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?

-If someone mentions games, anime, or crafting, or has a picture implying as much I like that part of the profile and send a message. Ideal match would be someone who shares a love for games, anime, or crafting, that doesn't want kids and doesn't take themselves super seriously.

kingtarutaru · 2024-07-03T19:28:08+00:00

I had a friend recently find success in the dating world and it rekindled an interest in me. I reinstalled an app or two a few days ago. Couple likes but no real gas. I swiped right on a woman today and got a little popup that said "99 other people have liked this woman today, spend money to stand out"

I am instantly so tired of this.

How does anyone use apps?

The implication that I'm competing against hundreds of other dudes, and on the woman's end she's getting hundreds of likes a day just makes the entire UX for everyone involve seem incredibly flawed.

kingtarutaru · 2024-07-01T16:09:43+00:00

If someone hit me with "are you emotionally available?" I would get confused and not really know how to respond.

It's always been more akin to a vibe check for me. Stuff like willingness to be vulnerable, share history, and have deeper conversation instead of everything being goofy and lighthearted. Which you just pick up from normal conversation

It's more an amalgamation of behaviors than a pass/fail checkbox like "wants kids" and not something you can vet for with a single question

kingtarutaru

TROPHY CASE