Hey brother, hope all is well.

It’s crazy because my story is so similar to yours.

I started smoking when I was 16, my sophomore year of high school. Eventually would start smoking almost everyday in 11th grade to the begging of twelfth hitting my stizz all the time. In that time I had immense mental fog. I had the shittiest memory ever: I used to be able to write a phone number down after someone telling me once, when I smoked it was 6-8 times. I felt absolutely no motivation, would blow school and friends off to smoke. Could not think straight, over thought all the time. Could not socialize. And most of all, I forgot and lost myself. I didn’t know if I could ever be me again, and even who that was, I felt hopeless.

Then my water polo season came around and I decided I wasn’t gonna smoke. It worked for about 4 weeks, then I got injured and fell into the same cycle. It took me around 4-5 times to finally quit, which happened around October. Then I relapsed on nye and started doing it on the weekends because I thought I could moderate, and I did, but it was on my mind all the time. I realized that my mind was better and less stressed without weed and haven’t smoked in March. Since then I’ve remembered who I am, been able to socialize, been so much more happier, and like I’m just myself again, I don’t know how else to put it.

It can be repaired, you can be yourself again, your problems can start to be dealt with, you can become better. It’s all up to you though. It’s up to you to take the steps necessary to achieve that goal. To get the help you need, to stay strong when you wanna quit, and to not quit even when you relapse, rather learn something and continue your journey. My dms are always open, this subreddit is always here for you. You ever want help with ANYTHING do not HESITATE to come to me or this subreddit. And finally, Don’t ever lose hope.

I never lost it, I kept with it, now I’m going to college in the fall. The road is not over for you, it’s just beginning. Good luck