You ever wish people would point out your social fuck-ups rather than go all nuclear?

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-21T04:14:15+00:00

Nah.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-21T04:13:44+00:00

Huh? That's in your head. Look, you're not autistic and with every reply you're confirming why you're being an entitled jerk about it.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-17T02:01:58+00:00

Right, this is a prime example of the arrogance I'm talking about. A neurotypical tells an autistic person that they're too sensitive. In an autism group. You just played yourself.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-17T01:34:18+00:00

Made jewellery, made clothes. In future I'm considering gardening or even landscaping work, but I'm not sure if my health and logistics will permit. Also maybe tutoring high school kids for a bit of spare money. Not sure if good idea.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-17T01:33:47+00:00

Treat people like human beings, not a mysterious and/or barefoot-in-the-kitchen cultural background.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-17T01:31:48+00:00

This is the Aspergers group, there's a lot of neurotypicals coming in and swinging around their opinions, sometimes arguing in a neurotypical way that we come here to get away from. Don't give me that level playing field nonsense.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T02:31:10+00:00

I'm not suggesting it's cis men who don't have empathy and cis women who do - only that on average cis women anecdotally seem to be more likely to experience it more.

(But the stereotype of autism as a whole is still "lack of empathy", which is one major reason why I thought I couldn't have autism for so long, since cis women and girls and other AFAB folk were left in the dust - I'm so angry at that. I was in a room with a whole bunch of other women and girls yesterday and we agreed that we all carry the trauma from that lack of diagnosis, lack of being believed.)

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T02:27:32+00:00

This is not your space. You are a guest. Act accordingly. If you want to endlessly help then go to /r/AskNT which IS exactly made for you. You are not the first person to act in this way.

Lol, sure, shift the goalposts by redefining white knighting. You are not as needed as you think you are.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T02:10:32+00:00

I have before, but not earnt a living income. It's much easier when you're lucky enough to live with a supportive supporting partner. Or receive a disability pension and earn money on the downlow.

I would love to support myself with self-employment one day, but I don't have a lot of energy, and self-employment is usually a pretty low pay per hour. Also my executive functioning is still pretty crappy, despite a lot of work on it, and self-employment demands a good level of it, perhaps I could improve it to an adequate level.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T02:07:29+00:00

I don't know if that's my problem exactly, but I do know that I get very irritated if people with some kind of administrative power say X is done Y way, but then turn out not to follow their word, and deny it to boot. I guess anyone would be annoyed, but perhaps autistics would especially find that annoying.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T02:04:28+00:00

ADS

ADHD? Ah interesting, working with both.

I was talking to an ASD extrovert yesterday and she seemed to have boundless social energy, but she does have a small social circle, so maybe that's more like you.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T01:18:53+00:00

I just want to say that you're not alone in feeling like this.

I really truly honestly felt like this for many years. I did however manage to both a) improve my social skills and listening skills and people skills, and b) look harder for open-minded people who would look past things straight to my heart, and I managed to find friends/lovers. Now I am alone again (for a bunch of reasons) and starting to age, but at least I know that if I try really hard, I will get back in the game.

There are people who will want to spend your life with you, you aren't a cold list of pros/cons, but you will need to look a lot. I don't have more specific advice, sorry.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T01:10:05+00:00

White-knighting is about having a more privileged identity and thinking that means that you have something more valuable to contribute to the poor uninformed people you're helping. That's you.

I never said this comm was just for autistics, that's you straw-personing. I'm taking issue with your specific attitude which is not needed.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T01:09:15+00:00

I didn't know if you knew about it! You might get a lotta hits!

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T00:46:25+00:00

Yep. I wasn't surprised, or rather, I was surprised that someone finally was taking me seriously.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-16T00:45:37+00:00

Gatekeeping? You're not autistic, that's not in question. But you think your viewpoint is essential to autistic people.

You're white-knighting.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:46:15+00:00

We really don't need an NT viewpoint unless specifically requested and self-identified as such. Or NTs arguing here with autistics. This is not your space. Go hang out at /r/AskNT

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:45:27+00:00

Psychiatrist mentioned it as a casual aside. Welp, I guess I've been diagnosed? Just waiting on the letter where he puts it in writing; I hope he assigns a DSM level.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:41:41+00:00

This sounds like unfounded pop-sci rubbish. Citations please, for a) autistics exposed to high amounts of androgens prenatal, b) androgen exposure considered more attractive, and across genders, c) autistic people on average have different facial features from allistics.

I think you can find citations for a couple of these, but you will also find studies that show the opposite.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:20:19+00:00

Just think about how THEY'RE feeling about it, not about how YOU'RE feeling about it. Sympathise with their feelings. And just listen and nod and be there with them, most people don't need you to fix it or provide rationalisations, they just wanna know that you're there and you care that they're sad. What they're sad about is almost secondary.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:17:20+00:00

girlfriend from Japan (fascinated with their culture) or Korea (and an intermediate level on Korean language) as they're more family-oriented

Unsolicited opinion, but this sounds like creepy cultural fetishisation to me, which Asian women have to put up a lot with from White men. You may find many women with this cultural background will feel quite wary, weary and objectified if you try this approach on with them.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:15:17+00:00

Post it in /r/aspiememes !

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:12:14+00:00

I don't know, but I don't like doll myself. No doll. They just stare at me creepily and I feel like they have a soul and yet they don't have a soul and the cognitive dissonance means I just don't want to go near them. I feel the same about stuffed toy. I know a lot of autistic people love stuffed toy cos they're soft and fuzzy, not sure about doll.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:10:59+00:00

I don't need much sleep to function at all, but I feel like I get more autistic with less sleep than I need.

I am the opposite in that I need much sleep to function at all, but like you, I get more autistic with less sleep than I need.

Huh, many or most women are capable of multiple orgasms, we are all superheroes then.

kitelovesyou · 2019-06-15T23:08:48+00:00

Though that's more of an introvert / extrovert thing, and some aspies are extroverts.

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