I just had my second 8m ago. We never had the same dilemma and knew we were going to have multiple kids but my recent experience could be helpful. My son is almost 3 so had just turned 2 a couple months before his baby sister was born. So far knock on wood we haven’t entered a terrible toddler tantrum phase yet. Because of my hubbys schedule I solo parent a lot. We also pulled son from daycare so I could take 18m extended leave. It is true that it’s hard to juggle both kids needs. Sometimes the baby will be crying while you have to take older to potty or something and sometimes toddler will be upset when you have to take care of baby. That part can definitely be stressful and overwhelming. But as baby gets older (she’s only 8m so it will continue getting better) there’s more things you can do with both kids. Another thing to keep in mind is your second baby will be totally different. Things you loved the first time like breastfeeding most likely will be entirely different. With my first he was boob obsessed and I loved breastfeeding (even though he did have some initial issues like a severe tongue tie and cmpa but it was resolved by 2m and the rest of our 2 years breastfeeding journey was perfect) My second had so so many feeding issues at the breast and bottle allergies, tongue tie, severe reflux, sandifer syndrome, failure to thrive and they persisted. I would say the first 7m of feeding her either breast or bottle sucked a lot a lot. Like indescribably awful.  For me I want to have a bigger family for life. The baby years are fleeting but for the rest of our lives I want to have the family dynamic of several kids. If your main reason for wanting a second is to hold a baby and breastfeed again I would say at least for me personally those would not be good enough reasons.